Grandfather dies, and mother sees opportunity to spread the love

[Guest guest]

Email from my mother last night:

" I have doubts that you even care, since you never reached out to have

him meet his greatgrandson or even sent him a birthday card for his

89th. birthday, but your grandfather was found dead in his apartment

today by police after I called them to check on him to see if he was

allright. "

That's the whole email.

A little background...I haven't seen my mother in roughly 2 years. We

haven't spoken on the phone in about a year and a half. And not even

email contact (until this one) in almost a year. My husband and I have

a wonderful son who will be 2 in January. She's never met him.

I had sent my grandfather pictures of my son once or twice, as well as

a letter or two. But that's besides the point. Of course I am sad that

he died (at 89....a full life by any measure, and not for nothing my

mother used to tell me stories about him beating her and she also

implied there may have been some sort of inappropriate behavior

towards her on his part...anyway, death isn't always a heartrending

tragedy, sometimes it's just a sad part of what's next), but the thing

is the most irritating part is the way my mother feels the need to

make this about me being a bad person.

But things like this also bring out how lucky I am. When I forwarded

the email to my husband, this was his response (after asking if I was

ok etc):

Husband: your mother's a lunatic

Me: too true, but it's still upsetting to know that there's someone

out there who really and truly thinks I am uncaring especially when

that person is a parent

Husband: but your mom is totally out of touch with reality. i

understand it's still your mom, but it's like a zombie...shell of mom,

brain of mindless person eater

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Tinman