The way things are suppose to be ACCORDING TO NADA

[Guest guest]

Anyone out there ever experience this scenerio " The way things go

at this house of craziness:

if and i mean IF....NADA.. should decide that she wants to be in a

good mood then all the people in the house should be also.

the mood here for the past couple or three months has been hostile to

say the least. this is how it has been since i became aware of what

has been going on the for year and made the decision to just stay to

myself and ignore the insults, blame and criticisms. showing little

or no reaction except on a few ocassions when i had to stand up for

my children.

well just like someone flipped a switch, she is all cheerful and we

are just one big happy family. all the hurt, anger and bad feeling

are just suppose to go away. like nothing ever happened. how can

they turn things on and off like that.

it started with friday morning when she arrived home from her 3rd

shift job at the hospital, where incidentially, they would just have

to shut the whole hospital down without her there, since she is the

authority on everything. she says to me could you please carry the

groceries in. i have bought stuff to make all your favorite

things... (how sweet and loving mommy dearest). next she says, so

bring some money home to help pay for all of this stuff. WTF???

anyway, she has been acting like we are just best buds? i can not

just act like nothing she said the day before ever happened. god

forbid i do not play along with the happy family act.

this isn't making much since now that i am trying to explain it

here. however, i was cordial, i helped prepare the meal and clean up

etc. then went to bed as early as possible, it was all just

sickening to me.

she even wants to take my daughter and rest of my family to the local

amusement park tomorrow. of course, the price on this genoristy is

very high. it will be thrown up to me , probably by mid week.

a part of me really wishes this was all genuine feelings of love and

careing, but it isnt.

one of my co workers overheard me talking to another about finding a

place that may be a possiblity for me to rent. and he is a PH.D and

one of those very smart but no common sense guys. he says, you have

to admit that you do love your mother don't you? i think they (some

of them) are appalled that i express such disdain for her..

suprisingly 2 of 5 people i work with have members of their family

who are BPD. i guess it is unthinkable for those who don't

understand to think i could have such harsh and bad feeling toward my

own mother. i just replied with well, i can say i do NOT like my

mother at all. it makes us look like the cold, mean, uncaring ones

that are really our nadas. thanks god for this site, where people

understand. love you all. peace lisa