The Quiet Before the Storm

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone...TGIF>

its been a week or so since i posted and my last post was very

negative. I was so overwhelmed and just felt like things were

hopeless. things havent really changed, i guess i am just not as

depressed as i was that day. i had to forget about the whole BPD

thing for a few days in order to cope. i just had to focus on

work/children and go through the motions best i could. and..i just

havent been able to get enough sleep lately. i go home do homework

with children, dinner, bathes and hit the sack, and still can't get

up in the morning. its so exhausting living with NADA. i just never

know what to expect day to day.

she has been pleasent (for the most part the past few days) a few

outbursts but hell, thats normal even pleasant for me compared to the

out and out explosions often experiences. but, i know this is the

calm before the storm. its her weekend to be off work and no doubt

she will start some crap. oh well.. i will just deal as usual and

make the best of it.

my daughter is performing at the fair tomorrow and as of know she is

planning on going (NADA). she always does, then gets pissed right

before time to leave and doesnt go, saying she isn't welcomed and we

don't want her to go. which i really don't. especially if my best

friend plans on attending, she has no children and loves to see my

daughter, whom she dearly loves sing and dance. my NADA is soooo

jealous of this. she hates her because she is my best friend and

will not go if she does. how immature is that? and selfish.

anyway,,just wanted to check in and say all is fine, ain't a damn

thing changed and have a great weekend.

[Guest guest]

Hey -- glad you checked in and gave us an update. Hang in there --

this will get better.

The part of your post about your nada cancelling at the last minute

jumped out at me -- my nada is NOTORIOUS for that! The underlying

reason is she doesn't want to go. But she'll blame us or her bad

mood or whatever the hell she's " going through " at the time for the

cancellation. That's IF she takes the time to even cancel with us.

Sometimes she leaves it for my dad to do. (more dramatic that way!)

You're going to be OK. You're in a tunnel of transition -- it's

going to be dark and unfamiliar for awhile. This will propel you

into a new reality for yourself. A healthier one.

-Kyla

>

> Hi everyone...TGIF>

>

> its been a week or so since i posted and my last post was very

> negative. I was so overwhelmed and just felt like things were

> hopeless. things havent really changed, i guess i am just not as

> depressed as i was that day. i had to forget about the whole BPD

> thing for a few days in order to cope. i just had to focus on

> work/children and go through the motions best i could. and..i

just

> havent been able to get enough sleep lately. i go home do

homework

> with children, dinner, bathes and hit the sack, and still can't

get

> up in the morning. its so exhausting living with NADA. i just

never

> know what to expect day to day.

>

> she has been pleasent (for the most part the past few days) a few

> outbursts but hell, thats normal even pleasant for me compared to

the

> out and out explosions often experiences. but, i know this is the

> calm before the storm. its her weekend to be off work and no

doubt

> she will start some crap. oh well.. i will just deal as usual

and

> make the best of it.

>

> my daughter is performing at the fair tomorrow and as of know she

is

> planning on going (NADA). she always does, then gets pissed right

> before time to leave and doesnt go, saying she isn't welcomed and

we

> don't want her to go. which i really don't. especially if my

best

> friend plans on attending, she has no children and loves to see

my

> daughter, whom she dearly loves sing and dance. my NADA is soooo

> jealous of this. she hates her because she is my best friend and

> will not go if she does. how immature is that? and selfish.

>

> anyway,,just wanted to check in and say all is fine, ain't a damn

> thing changed and have a great weekend.

>

[Guest guest]

this is my first night on this post and the more i read, the more

freeing it is. my nada (this abrev. is just too perfect for words) has

not and will not be diagnosed because none of her issues are real to

her or " deep " enough to get help with. And when i did try to suggest

that perhaps your childhood/adulthood trauma is worth some form of

therapy, i was a black sheep for almost a month! Luckily i am

realizing that this is not under my control, and that the best thing i

can do is to not allow myself to continue to be damaged by her mess.

my concern is especially with her " canceling " mania. specifically she

we would all be getting dressed and ready to go anywhere, store, bank,

overseas, it really doesnt matter. then she wont want to go when its

TIME TO GO, and will cause all kinds of confusion and unnecessary

agenda changes so that we will be a) too late to go, b)soo late that

she becomes that ABSOLUTE center of attention ( at the store, bank, or

airport), or c) we decide not to go and then she definitely feels

abandoned and that triggers about a months worth of splitting with

whom ever she thinks about or talks to.

the most helpful thing, is that FINALLY i can write this and know that

someone KNOWS what i am talking about, and i dont feel like a

ungreatful, SOB who doesnt know how to treat a mother. my last

guestion, does anyone know how to get in contact with a local group

therapy session, i am in therapy now (which is how i even begin to

realize that my " mother " was a nada) but i am looking for more

specified help.

Thank you for opening up because I KNOW how hard it is to omit to

these things (even just to yourself)

rose

> >

> > Hi everyone...TGIF>

> >

> > its been a week or so since i posted and my last post was very

> > negative. I was so overwhelmed and just felt like things were

> > hopeless. things havent really changed, i guess i am just not as

> > depressed as i was that day. i had to forget about the whole BPD

> > thing for a few days in order to cope. i just had to focus on

> > work/children and go through the motions best i could. and..i

> just

> > havent been able to get enough sleep lately. i go home do

> homework

> > with children, dinner, bathes and hit the sack, and still can't

> get

> > up in the morning. its so exhausting living with NADA. i just

> never

> > know what to expect day to day.

> >

> > she has been pleasent (for the most part the past few days) a few

> > outbursts but hell, thats normal even pleasant for me compared to

> the

> > out and out explosions often experiences. but, i know this is the

> > calm before the storm. its her weekend to be off work and no

> doubt

> > she will start some crap. oh well.. i will just deal as usual

> and

> > make the best of it.

> >

> > my daughter is performing at the fair tomorrow and as of know she

> is

> > planning on going (NADA). she always does, then gets pissed right

> > before time to leave and doesnt go, saying she isn't welcomed and

> we

> > don't want her to go. which i really don't. especially if my

> best

> > friend plans on attending, she has no children and loves to see

> my

> > daughter, whom she dearly loves sing and dance. my NADA is soooo

> > jealous of this. she hates her because she is my best friend and

> > will not go if she does. how immature is that? and selfish.

> >

> > anyway,,just wanted to check in and say all is fine, ain't a damn

> > thing changed and have a great weekend.

> >

>