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Re:Feeling guilty

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Your mother's repeated choices to alientate anyone close to her are not your

fault. Please do not feel guilty for her bad choices. She is alone because she

doesn't treat people well.

When I read your email, the first thing I thought was, " Good for you! You helped

give your father the strength to leave an abusive relationship! " Be proud of

that - you are the healthiest, strongest person in your family and you are

setting a wonderful example of how to care about yourself.

Please remember that you cannot control and therefore should not feel guilty

about the choices your mother makes. She will see soon enough what damage she

has done. She will probably blame it on everyone else until there is no one

left to blame. You are not responsible for her choices, or your sister's choice

to help her. Your sister is capable of leaving the relationship, too, but has

not yet chosen to leave the abuse.

Don't worry about her neighbors thinking you are _________ because you don't

help a horrible woman be horrible to others. If they care that much, they

should go help her and will then understand why you left.

Stay strong. You are doing what is right for you. (((hugs)))

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Thank you so much for your e mail. I am going " home " to visit my sister and the

kids and will have to see my mother as well for just a bit. Your e mail gives me

great strength and encouragement. Thank you.

AMG

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wednesday, October 29, 2008 7:48:27 PM

Subject: Re:Feeling guilty

Your mother's repeated choices to alientate anyone close to her are not your

fault. Please do not feel guilty for her bad choices. She is alone because she

doesn't treat people well.

When I read your email, the first thing I thought was, " Good for you! You helped

give your father the strength to leave an abusive relationship! " Be proud of

that - you are the healthiest, strongest person in your family and you are

setting a wonderful example of how to care about yourself.

Please remember that you cannot control and therefore should not feel guilty

about the choices your mother makes. She will see soon enough what damage she

has done. She will probably blame it on everyone else until there is no one left

to blame. You are not responsible for her choices, or your sister's choice to

help her. Your sister is capable of leaving the relationship, too, but has not

yet chosen to leave the abuse.

Don't worry about her neighbors thinking you are _________ because you don't

help a horrible woman be horrible to others. If they care that much, they should

go help her and will then understand why you left.

Stay strong. You are doing what is right for you. (((hugs)))

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