new to the group

[Guest guest]

Hello...

I am new to this group as well as on-line groups in general.

My mother, I believe, suffers from BP. There has been no offical

diagnosis, but since reading UBM I am quite certain that this is the

problem.

I carry around so much guilt and anxiety that it is almost

intolerable at times. I am also concerned that I am exhibiting some

(although not nearly all) of the same characteristics.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I can not trust her.

I don't want my children to be around her, but they love her and her

new husband.

Does therapy really help? I've tried it a couple of times before,

but it was long before I learned about BPD.

Perhaps I should go back now that I have this knowledge.

Here is what prompted my joining this group:

I have not spoken with my mother since the Friday after Mother's

Day. I invited her and my sister over for brunch on Mother's Day

(which is ALWAYS a scary holiday for me!). Brunch went nicely, but

the conversation was all fake. After we ate, she started telling my

sister and me about some health problems, etc. My sister and I

suggested counseling (yet again) and she became quite angry. She

started yelling at me (not my sister) and asking me, " What have I

ever done to you? " I started to tell her, but soon remembered that

I had tried this before. It got really ugly.

Since reading UBM I have realized that it is possible that she can

not remember what she has done. We do not share the same past. I

used to think I was crazy until I started dating the man who is now

my husband. As he was around more, he started to notice her

episodes. I thank God for him.

Any advice, comments or guidance would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!