I started the process. Thanks!!

[Guest guest]

I paid attention to the advice given here and I acted. I called my

father on his way to work today and told him I could no longer be part

of the whole circle of deceit with nada. I told him I value honesty

and that I am the worst one. I am the receiver of all of the secrets

and I'm not doing it anymore. I let him know that I haven't lived 35

years, had two children and four miscarriages to be controlled like a

little child. She will no longer be making my call waiting go off

until I cease my phone calls, etc. We have all let her control us for

years because we fear her rages and I don't care anymore. I said that

I was done. I told him they aren't coming to my house next week and

that I'm telling nada that when I call to talk to him about car

trouble (the only reason I can call my own father without her freaking

out) that she has left. They aren't welcome in my little tiny rental

house if they can't get along and they aren't dragging their problems

into my life anymore.

I feel bad for him. He is so, so scared of her. His response was,

" Well what should I do? " I told him I really didn't care, but I

wasn't going to be a part of it anymore that she has control over 3

generations of people from Tennessee to Ohio and I'm not going to let

it get to my kids.

It was a respectful conversation. I told him I was flattered that

everyone confided in me, but that it wasn't right and I wouldn't be

doing it anymore. Lots of other things were said, but to sum it up I

stood my ground and said I wasn't participating and that she is crazy

and it's time to quit pretending. We parted peacefully. Now I have

to call my mother and not let myself get sucked in by her. I woke up

this morning blaming myself for everything. Fortunately I have a very

good patient husband that talked some sense into me.

This is so exhausting. My kids will wake up soon and I am weary.

Can you believe I actually did it?

Thank you,

le