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Trying to change

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I have a free Life Coach! Talking to him has helped me to realize

that there are things that I do which are contributing to my unhappiness.

The worst one is my constant need to argue my side in my head. About

everything. About conflicts with strangers. About any personal

conflict I've ever had.

In trying to stop doing this, I have noticed I literally do it ALL DAY

LONG. The only advice my therapist has had is to try and pull myself

into the moment. Notice the taste of my coffee or the fabric on my

dress, the color of the sky. Distract myself by pulling myself in the

moment.

Not to point blame here, but (HA!) I think it stems from having an

irrational mother and my need to figure out what is right and fair for

myself, when she was behaving in ways that were immature (selfish),

disguised with her authority.

I am going to continue working on this, though, as I realize that this

is really taking my energy away from me - and I'm doing it to myself!

How crazy is that?

:)

-Deanna

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