The old feelings resurfaced .....

[Guest guest]

I posted about 6 weeks ago about joining Weight Watchers and how

nada wanted to go too. I also posted nada wanted to make it a

competition between us and I said no. There is no competition, just a

way to to get me healthier.

So last weekend, my daughter and nada spent time together, and

nada brought up the Weight Watchers and she told my daughter, that

she and I had a competition going between us. NO, we don't. I had

already told my daughter my frustration about nada the weight thing,

and so daughter told nada, no this is a competition with yourself.

WHEN do they get it ??? I know NEVER. Why in the hell would

anyone want to compete against your daughter or son? Also why is she

keeping this whole competition thing going, after I said, NO!

This lack of respectful for my feelings, just doesn't even so much

piss me off, just brings back those old feelings of no validation- or

respect of me- AGAIN.

To add to all of this, my daughter is healthy, and I think built

perfect, but she would like to lose a few more pounds, and she shares

some of my WW foods and likes them. She is thinking about joining,

and thought about going with me, which I would have enjoyed. She has

decided she will go with a friend, because she doesn't want to be

with nada and hear all her bs---!

I want to say- this is not big deal, but it is. It is the same

pattern I lived with as a child, and here it is infecting another

generation....oh there is more with daughter, and her new boyfriend,

the point being their poison knows NO boundaries. I am so tired of

justifying, rationalizing, and still trying to be the good daughter

and all I get back is more grief, critcal words, and crap.

Malinda

[Guest guest]

I'd be annoyed, too. I can't stand when they use the kids to get to

you. Sounds like your daughter is older, but still. Why can't she

just leave her alone, why does she have to mention WW at all. So

typical of BPD.

I'd probably stop going with her to WW entirely. I'd either go with

my daughter or go alone than be subjected to her " this is a

competition " broken record.

>

> I posted about 6 weeks ago about joining Weight Watchers and how

> nada wanted to go too. I also posted nada wanted to make it a

> competition between us and I said no. There is no competition, just

a

> way to to get me healthier.

>

> So last weekend, my daughter and nada spent time together, and

> nada brought up the Weight Watchers and she told my daughter, that

> she and I had a competition going between us. NO, we don't. I had

> already told my daughter my frustration about nada the weight

thing,

> and so daughter told nada, no this is a competition with yourself.

>

> WHEN do they get it ??? I know NEVER. Why in the hell would

> anyone want to compete against your daughter or son? Also why is

she

> keeping this whole competition thing going, after I said, NO!

>

> This lack of respectful for my feelings, just doesn't even so

much

> piss me off, just brings back those old feelings of no validation-

or

> respect of me- AGAIN.

>

> To add to all of this, my daughter is healthy, and I think

built

> perfect, but she would like to lose a few more pounds, and she

shares

> some of my WW foods and likes them. She is thinking about joining,

> and thought about going with me, which I would have enjoyed. She

has

> decided she will go with a friend, because she doesn't want to be

> with nada and hear all her bs---!

>

> I want to say- this is not big deal, but it is. It is the same

> pattern I lived with as a child, and here it is infecting another

> generation....oh there is more with daughter, and her new

boyfriend,

> the point being their poison knows NO boundaries. I am so tired of

> justifying, rationalizing, and still trying to be the good daughter

> and all I get back is more grief, critcal words, and crap.

>

> Malinda

>

[Guest guest]

Malinda,

I understand exactly why this makes you so mad. You just want

something to be yours, something to be normal. People who haven't

experienced BPs don't understand, but I do. Just like it sounds

really mean and hateful when I say if I have another miscarriage that

this one is all mine. I don't want to hear about how sad nada is when

I miscarry and the sad stories she tells at church. Hopefully I'll

stay pregnant this time, but if I don't let me own it!! You don't

want to be robbed of the accomplishment. Losing weight is impossible

and when you succeed, you want to feel that you did it. Your nada is

trying to take that away from you by saying your success could be the

result of a competition with her.

le

>

> I posted about 6 weeks ago about joining Weight Watchers and how

> nada wanted to go too. I also posted nada wanted to make it a

> competition between us and I said no. There is no competition, just a

> way to to get me healthier.

>

> So last weekend, my daughter and nada spent time together, and

> nada brought up the Weight Watchers and she told my daughter, that

> she and I had a competition going between us. NO, we don't. I had

> already told my daughter my frustration about nada the weight thing,

> and so daughter told nada, no this is a competition with yourself.

>

> WHEN do they get it ??? I know NEVER. Why in the hell would

> anyone want to compete against your daughter or son? Also why is she

> keeping this whole competition thing going, after I said, NO!

>

> This lack of respectful for my feelings, just doesn't even so much

> piss me off, just brings back those old feelings of no validation- or

> respect of me- AGAIN.

>

> To add to all of this, my daughter is healthy, and I think built

> perfect, but she would like to lose a few more pounds, and she shares

> some of my WW foods and likes them. She is thinking about joining,

> and thought about going with me, which I would have enjoyed. She has

> decided she will go with a friend, because she doesn't want to be

> with nada and hear all her bs---!

>

> I want to say- this is not big deal, but it is. It is the same

> pattern I lived with as a child, and here it is infecting another

> generation....oh there is more with daughter, and her new boyfriend,

> the point being their poison knows NO boundaries. I am so tired of

> justifying, rationalizing, and still trying to be the good daughter

> and all I get back is more grief, critcal words, and crap.

>

> Malinda

>

[Guest guest]

>

> I'd probably stop going with her to WW entirely. I'd either go with

> my daughter or go alone than be subjected to her " this is a

> competition " broken record.

>

>

I agree. Tell her you were clear that it is not a competition, and

that you will no longer be going with her.