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Hi Margaret,

Welcome to the group. I had no history what so ever of breast cancer. I was am the first. There are other types of cancer in my family.

Its scary and to me the worst part is waiting. I had my surgery in 1990 and am doing ok. I had Stage II, one node involved. I had 6 months of chemo, no radiation and no reconstruction. I was 44 at the time.

I will keep you in my prayers. Please let us know how it goes.

hugs

nne

Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html

Check out my breast cancer ornaments at:http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.htmlalso check out my other ornaments and lots of nice gifts at:http://www.cancerclub.com

intro

Hi all. My name is Margaret and I'm from NJ. I am 42 and have a daughter who will be 14 in Jan, a son who will be 4 in Dec and a son who will be 2 in 2 weeks. I don't know yet if I have breast cancer but I have a surgeons appointment tomorrow to schedule my bioposy. I had to have 3 mamograms and an ultrasound and they said it's a "very suspicious lump". My family history is not good. Maternal aunt with a radical masectomy at 35, maternal grandmom with one at 55. So, I'm sorta scared. Just here for some support for now and for later.....if I'll need it.

Margaret,Mom to the monsters

Don't count the threads Which make the quilt whole.Just know that with each stitchShe bares her soul ~S. Dilworth Young~

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Hi Margaret

Nice to meet you. Sorry it had to be under these circumstances. My name is Sue-Anne. I am 41, I live in Ontario Canada and I have a daughter who is 16. I was diagnosed on June 27 of this year. I had my surgery on July 18. Now just waiting to start my chemo. I know how scared you are. If you every need to talk this is a great place to do it. There is lots of information out there all you have to do is ask.

Talk to you Soon

Sue-Anne

intro

Hi all. My name is Margaret and I'm from NJ. I am 42 and have a daughter who will be 14 in Jan, a son who will be 4 in Dec and a son who will be 2 in 2 weeks. I don't know yet if I have breast cancer but I have a surgeons appointment tomorrow to schedule my bioposy. I had to have 3 mamograms and an ultrasound and they said it's a "very suspicious lump". My family history is not good. Maternal aunt with a radical masectomy at 35, maternal grandmom with one at 55. So, I'm sorta scared. Just here for some support for now and for later.....if I'll need it.

Margaret,Mom to the monsters

Don't count the threads Which make the quilt whole.Just know that with each stitchShe bares her soul ~S. Dilworth Young~

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Welcome and try to keep a positive attitude...all suspicious lumps are

not b.c. My first one was not...just grains of calcium...the cancer

came later on the other side.

I too was mother of " monsters " for years...they all grew up to be

pretty nice people. LOL Doris

> Hi all. My name is Margaret and I'm from NJ. I am 42 and have a

daughter who will be 14 in Jan, a son who will be 4 in Dec and a son

who will be 2 in 2 weeks. I don't know yet if I have breast cancer but

I have a surgeons appointment tomorrow to schedule my bioposy. I had

to have 3 mamograms and an ultrasound and they said it's a " very

suspicious lump " . My family history is not good. Maternal aunt with a

radical masectomy at 35, maternal grandmom with one at 55. So, I'm

sorta scared. Just here for some support for now and for later.....if

I'll need it.

> Margaret,

> Mom to the monsters

>

> Don't count the threads

> Which make the quilt whole.

> Just know that with each stitch

> She bares her soul

> ~S. Dilworth Young~

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Dear Margaret:

I would like to send

much love and light with you

today for your appointments

from Angel..

> Mom to the monsters

>

> Don't count the threads

> Which make the quilt whole.

> Just know that with each stitch

> She bares her soul

> ~S. Dilworth Young~

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  • 3 months later...

Sue-Anne wrote:

> Hi

>

> My name is Sue-Anne. I live in Ontario Canada. I am 41 years old. I have

> a 16 year old daughter. I also had a lumpectomy and sentinel node

> biopsy. My tumor was 2.5 cm and I had 11 nodes removed with 2 being

> positive. I had a drain in for about 5 days. I started chemo in

> September and on Dec 29 I will have my last treatment.I will be having

> radiation sometime in Feb. I think I will be having about 5 weeks worth.

> Feel free to ask any questions. This is a great place for information

> and support.

>

> Talk to you Soon

> Sue-Anne

>

Hi, Sue-Anne. I'll introduce myself. I joined the group yesterday, and I

went to the message archive and read the messages from the last few days.

I hope it's OK to have husbands here. My wife is in a similar situation

to yours. She's 52 years old. She had a lumpectomy and sentinel node

biopsy. The tumor was 1.7 cm. The surgeon removed five nodes, and two

were positive. Two weeks later, she had more surgery, removing 12 more

nodes, and they were all negative. She had a drain for about a week. She

starts chemotherapy on December 26. It will last four months and then

begins radiation.

I joined the group not for treatment advice. I think we're in good hands

medically. I'm interested in learning what life is like with cancer and

how to cope with it. My wife's prognosis is pretty good, and all the

recent success stories are quite heartening. But the fact is that this

is cancer we're dealing with, so fears of the worst naturally come up.

I've got married just this past May. I'm 42 years old. I have two

daughters from my previous marriage. They are 15 years old and almost 12

years old. The girls live with my new wife and me. We moved into a new

house in June. This is our first house, ever. I lived in apartments all

my life until now. We also got a dog, and he's also my first dog. Things

were looking up for us in a big way, and then this cancer came to visit.

We live in in NJ, in the NYC area, and my wife's treatment is in the city.

Tom

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Tom,

Its just fine to have husbands here. We also have a few support people and

family members in the group.

I haven't mentioned it in awhile but Chuck, my husband, has a group for

support people and family members if anyone is interested just let me know

and I can send or post the info.

I had a mastectomy in 1990. I had 23 nodes removed and one came back bad.

Six months of chemo, no radiation and no reconstruction.

Its normal to have fears and concerns but as the years go by it DOES get

easier.

Hugs

nne

Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life

http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html

Check out my breast cancer ornaments at:

http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.html

also check out my other ornaments and lots of nice gifts at:

http://www.cancerclub.com

Re: Intro

>

>

> Sue-Anne wrote:

>

> > Hi

> >

> > My name is Sue-Anne. I live in Ontario Canada. I am 41 years old. I have

> > a 16 year old daughter. I also had a lumpectomy and sentinel node

> > biopsy. My tumor was 2.5 cm and I had 11 nodes removed with 2 being

> > positive. I had a drain in for about 5 days. I started chemo in

> > September and on Dec 29 I will have my last treatment.I will be having

> > radiation sometime in Feb. I think I will be having about 5 weeks worth.

> > Feel free to ask any questions. This is a great place for information

> > and support.

> >

> > Talk to you Soon

> > Sue-Anne

> >

>

>

> Hi, Sue-Anne. I'll introduce myself. I joined the group yesterday, and I

> went to the message archive and read the messages from the last few days.

>

> I hope it's OK to have husbands here. My wife is in a similar situation

> to yours. She's 52 years old. She had a lumpectomy and sentinel node

> biopsy. The tumor was 1.7 cm. The surgeon removed five nodes, and two

> were positive. Two weeks later, she had more surgery, removing 12 more

> nodes, and they were all negative. She had a drain for about a week. She

> starts chemotherapy on December 26. It will last four months and then

> begins radiation.

>

> I joined the group not for treatment advice. I think we're in good hands

> medically. I'm interested in learning what life is like with cancer and

> how to cope with it. My wife's prognosis is pretty good, and all the

> recent success stories are quite heartening. But the fact is that this

> is cancer we're dealing with, so fears of the worst naturally come up.

>

> I've got married just this past May. I'm 42 years old. I have two

> daughters from my previous marriage. They are 15 years old and almost 12

> years old. The girls live with my new wife and me. We moved into a new

> house in June. This is our first house, ever. I lived in apartments all

> my life until now. We also got a dog, and he's also my first dog. Things

> were looking up for us in a big way, and then this cancer came to visit.

>

> We live in in NJ, in the NYC area, and my wife's treatment is in the city.

>

> Tom

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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moochie wrote:

> Tom,

> Its just fine to have husbands here. We also have a few support people and

> family members in the group.

> I haven't mentioned it in awhile but Chuck, my husband, has a group for

> support people and family members if anyone is interested just let me know

> and I can send or post the info.

> I had a mastectomy in 1990. I had 23 nodes removed and one came back bad.

> Six months of chemo, no radiation and no reconstruction.

> Its normal to have fears and concerns but as the years go by it DOES get

> easier.

> Hugs

> nne

Yes, would you pleast post the info for Chuck's group?

13 years later! Excellent. That's the kind of story I like to hear!

Thanks again.

Tom

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moochie wrote:

> Tom,

> Its just fine to have husbands here. We also have a few support people and

> family members in the group.

> I haven't mentioned it in awhile but Chuck, my husband, has a group for

> support people and family members if anyone is interested just let me know

> and I can send or post the info.

> I had a mastectomy in 1990. I had 23 nodes removed and one came back bad.

> Six months of chemo, no radiation and no reconstruction.

> Its normal to have fears and concerns but as the years go by it DOES get

> easier.

> Hugs

> nne

> Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life

> http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html

>

> Check out my breast cancer ornaments at:

> http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.html

> also check out my other ornaments and lots of nice gifts at:

> http://www.cancerclub.com

> Re: Intro

>

>

> >nne,

I would appreciate getting the info for Chuck's support group. I think

my husband is more upset about my having a bilateral mastectomy--both

medically and emotionally. Thanks Janet

c

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Hi Tom,

Here is the url for Chuck's group.

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/HelpforBreastCancerCaregivers/

Its kind of slow getting started but we are hoping after the New Year that

things pick up. The posts are sent to our email so Chuck can answer them

asap.

Hugs

nne

Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Life

http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/breastcancerpatients.html

Check out my breast cancer ornaments at:

http://www.geocities.com/chucky5741/bcornament.html

also check out my other ornaments and lots of nice gifts at:

http://www.cancerclub.com

Re: Intro

> moochie wrote:

> > Tom,

> > Its just fine to have husbands here. We also have a few support people

and

> > family members in the group.

> > I haven't mentioned it in awhile but Chuck, my husband, has a group for

> > support people and family members if anyone is interested just let me

know

> > and I can send or post the info.

> > I had a mastectomy in 1990. I had 23 nodes removed and one came back

bad.

> > Six months of chemo, no radiation and no reconstruction.

> > Its normal to have fears and concerns but as the years go by it DOES get

> > easier.

> > Hugs

> > nne

>

>

>

> Yes, would you pleast post the info for Chuck's group?

>

> 13 years later! Excellent. That's the kind of story I like to hear!

>

> Thanks again.

>

> Tom

>

>

>

>

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Welcome to our group; I think if you stay around, you will soon be

posting, " Fortunately I joined this group " because everyone here has

been so supportive. I am a 4 1/2 year survivor and at first I thought

unfortunately but after being with this group a while I learned that

any time I needed to ask questions, complain or whatever, that someone

would reply. You will find this also. I will keep you in my prayers

and please do come and post anything you wish (except for sales

pitches and porno, of course) and someone will answer. Doris

> Unfortunately, I joined " the club " on Monday having been diagnosed

> with ductal carcinoma. I met with my surgeon today and after hearing

> the options, have opted to have a lumpectomy and sential node biopsy

> on Tuesday. The surgeon thinks this option is a good candidate for

> my treatment. He also says chemo is probably in my future based on

> my age and other factors; the jury is still out on the radiation. My

> head is still spinning with everything that has happened in the last

> 4 days. I hope I have made the right decision. Is this a common

> question? The doctor seems confident that this is the best course of

> action at this point.

>

> Thanks for any help and suggestions you might offer to me. I am

> especially interested in hearing from others who have gone through

> this surgery/treatment. I have read some of the archives and have

> learned alot in the last few days. No doubt, it will continue.

>

> Happy holidays everyone.

> Fellows

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Welcome ,

My name is Terrie, 49 year old single mom of a 16 year old. I was

diagnosed in May, had a lumpectomy and sentinal node. The tumor was

2.5 cm, clear margins and 4 nodes removed all negative. Went through

4 rounds of chemo and 30 treatments of radiation which I just

finished up this past tuesday :-)

This is a great place for information, to vent, to gather strengh

from all the wonderful women and men here.

Stay Strong

Terrie in Philly

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Hi Tom,

Chemo side effects vary from individual to individual. I was on a

chemo drug combination of taxotere, cyclophosphamide and doxorubicin

(know as TAC). I developed severe side effects to the taxotere and

my oncologist changed me to just the two drugs. My side effects

varied from treatment to treatment. I did meet a 72 year old woman

who was on the same drug therapy and she had very few side effects.

As for radiation, that was a cake walk but again the side effects

vary for each person. I developed some skin irration and sunburned

skin. My radiation oncologist gave me some cream and I did just fine.

Let your wife rest when she needs to and be there for her.

Keep Strong,

Terrie in Philly

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Terrie M. wrote:

> Hi Tom,

> Chemo side effects vary from individual to individual. I was on a

> chemo drug combination of taxotere, cyclophosphamide and doxorubicin

> (know as TAC). I developed severe side effects to the taxotere and

> my oncologist changed me to just the two drugs. My side effects

> varied from treatment to treatment. I did meet a 72 year old woman

> who was on the same drug therapy and she had very few side effects.

>

> As for radiation, that was a cake walk but again the side effects

> vary for each person. I developed some skin irration and sunburned

> skin. My radiation oncologist gave me some cream and I did just fine.

>

> Let your wife rest when she needs to and be there for her.

>

>

> Keep Strong,

> Terrie in Philly

Thanks, Terrie. Your stories help me.

Here's a relationship question, not a medical one.

Today we had a little emotional difficulty. My wife has a singing gig

tonight, where she is as I write this. She's a professional singer,

among other things. Earlier this afternoon, we were out Christmas and

Chanukah shopping. She threw a bunch of things in her car to get ready

for her gig. We were going to leave her car and take mine shopping, come

back home, and she'd take her car to her gig. So as we're leaving, she

says, " Oh, can you get my backpack? " So I grabbed it for her. As far as

I could tell, it had just books in it. So I put it in her car. We got to

the mall, and she asked where her backpack was. I said it was in her

car, and she got really annoyed at me for not doing the right thing.

Apparently there was food she was planning on eating at the mall. She

said if I was unsure, I should have asked her what to do. I said I

wasn't unsure; I was sure I did what she wanted. Furthermore, I said I

disagreed with her: if she wanted me to do something, she should have

told me what. There was no yelling, just stern disagreement. Thank God

in this marriage, there's no yelling.

But here's the thing. My wife is in a weakened state, mostly because of

anticipation, not so much physically, yet. Soon she is likely to be

physically debilitated. I don't know how much to defer to her. I know

from my past relationships, especially my first marriage, that if I

defer too much, I become a doormat and build resentment, which comes out

at random and unfair times. This is why I held my ground.

Is there a way of knowing when to defer in this tender time?

Later in the mall, she apologized for being bitchy. Of course at that

point, I melted and felt absolutely no anger towards her any more. I

said, " I still love you, always, even though you're sometimes bitchy "

and she appreciated it, and we hugged.

It wasn't really all that difficult a situation, but it may be a model

for what's to come, which is why I ask for pointers.

Thanks much.

Tom

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Hi Tom,

How old is your wife ? Chemo and stress can jump start her into

menapause. Actually, it slam dunked me but I was already

perimenapausal before I started.

Also the stress of the holiday season can bring on moodyness.

What type of music does your wife sing ?

Stay Strong,

Terrie

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Vickie Heiman wrote:

> Tom, try to be patient with your wife, she is probably just as

> overwhelmed by all this as you are. There were days where my wonderful

> hubby wanted to just run and hide. As things settle into a routine, it

> will get easier. There are no easy answers, you just kind of have to

> play it by ear. Take care, Vickie

To be sure, she must be more overwhelmed than I am. I'm going to have a

sick wife, but she's going to BE sick. I might lose my wife, but she

might lose her life.

But thanks for the reminders.

Tom

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Terrie M. wrote:

> Hi Tom,

> How old is your wife ? Chemo and stress can jump start her into

> menapause. Actually, it slam dunked me but I was already

> perimenapausal before I started.

>

> Also the stress of the holiday season can bring on moodyness.

>

> What type of music does your wife sing ?

>

> Stay Strong,

> Terrie

She's 52 and had an early menopause a few years ago.

Yeah, the stress of the holidays adds to everything. She doesn't have

many singing gigs through the year. She has a lot in December, though.

She just got one for Christmas eve, and it makes me sad that she won't

be with me and my daughters then, but that comes with the territory of

marrying a professional musician.

Lately, she sings a cappella music of many centuries, with a specialty

in music of the Renaissance period. She's sung many genres, including

rock, jazz, and opera. Today, she has a gig as a " ringer " in a community

chorus. They're doing parts of The Messiah and other works for large

chorus. She has had jobs as paid choir singer, too.

Tom

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  • 4 years later...

I thought that I would take a moment to say hello. There is a lot of

information here that I am excited about going through. Thanks for

letting me join.

A little bit about me - my current dx is bipolar II and like many of

you I have been on a number of medications. My current psychiatrist is

actually pretty cool and is supportive of my decision to go off the

drugs. He is not the one that originally diagnosed me and has had

other patients go off meds and be fine so maybe that's why. It is my

observation that while there is something definitely not " normal "

about some of my behavior and thinking I do not believe that

medication is the answer.

When I first started meeting with my current doctor I was taking

Depakote ER, Strattera, klonopin, trazadone and Risperdal. I am now

down to 1000 mg Depakote ER and 80 mg of Strattera. Tapering off the

depakote has turned out to be more difficult than tapering off Paxil,

which I was not expecting. I have already been kindly provided with

information about depakote capsules which I will be looking into. It

also occurred to me that since Strattera is used to boost the power of

anti-depressants maybe it is doing the same with the mood stabilizer?

Something else to poke around about.

I am off to search the archives for information.

Peace.

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