silliness of a work-related nature

[Guest guest]

I've shared some of these bits with a couple of my very good friends, but

now I am moved to let y'all know what fools we mortals be.

<grin>

On one of yesterday's nationwide TTY announcements, the lead sentence was:

" THE FBI CURRENTLY POSSESSES NO SPECIFIC INTELLIGENCE "

Of course it continued on the next lines with " REGARDING ADDITIONAL ATTACKS

ON FOREST SERVICE FACILITIES. "

But it cracked us up.

Yesterday we were the " pivot " point of a bomb threat situation. The

not-very-bright caller used a cell phone (so WE got him every single time

he called back to snipe at the authorities. Dunno who he thought he was

reaching, but he was suspicious about being transferred to the agency with

jurisdiction). Basically, he said " we " had 30 minutes to evacuate a local,

public high school before he " blew the M-Fer up. " [genteel abbreviation is

mine]

I got him first. A female officer on limited duty who's been assigned to

our Comm Center for a few months was the other person staffing phones with

me. We shared the responsibility of conversing with him several times,

relaying information to the allied agency with jurisdiction over the

specific high school. He didn't think much of us and used some rather vile

language - which actually got to be rather funny.

ESPECIALLY when he was asked why he wanted to blow up the school and what

" statement " its destruction would make:

" Because of 9/11 last year. " Oh? Why is that? What does [specific] High

School have to do with 9/11 last year? " Because of the TeleBomb. "

The who?!? Uh.. yup... he repeated it: " the Telebomb. " Kind of obvious he

hadn't had much of an education beyond that specific public high

school..... He kept calling us back to give us a minute-by-minute

count-down. At the 3 minute mark, he suddenly decided to give us 11 more

minutes; he claimed he could reset the radio controlled timer on the bomb.

Which we " stupid bitches " would never find, he sneered.

Well, we did have Caller ID...... Hehehehhehehhehe. Today the

investigating officer called us - on 9-1-1 - using that particular cell

phone, to confirm it was the same one. And the high school is still standing.

Then there was our minute of radio silence - I have to admit this - which

went very well, except for one slight problem. <ahem> The two dispatchers

working the radios asked ME to do it ('cause they felt " odd " about it) and

I set up at the third radio console where I was working as a call-taker.

Somebody made a traffic stop just before the prescribed minute, and the

dispatcher rushed to give back the info, then I was " on. "

I simulcast on both our channels PLUS the " statewide division " channel for

this area. Even picked up the repeaters that would reach units working in

the far southern part of the county (since those far-rural officers often

complain they feel " left out " ). Very professionally, I pre-alerted with

the announcement, real cool and serious-like. After a full minute of radio

silence on those channels, I " cleared " the frequencies again with the time.

Both dispatchers turned to me and said, " See, that's why we wanted YOU to

do it. That sounded really good! "

<preen>

And then I realized I hadn't plugged my headset jack into the radio. The

one I was using to answer the phone.... I didn't switch over to the radio

jack. Nobody heard a danged thing. Just open carrier for the pre-alert and

ending announcement. I had NOT broadcast at all. The only people who were

impressed were the ones in the Comm Center with me. And that lasted until

I blurted out that I'd not been plugged in.......

DANG that was a great " silent " minute! SO silent even the announcement was

unheard!!!!!! It was " unheard " at the exact same time an allied agency

consolidated Comm Center was broadcasting its solemn remembrance on

multiple channels (law and fire at the same time).

Our officers DID hear the carrier at the allotted time, and they did

respect the full minute of silence, because they'd been briefed about it

for a couple days. Plus they had scanners to hear those other agencies......

Ahh well. <giggling> Excellent method to ensure I never get too inflated

an ego.

Happy to be here, proud to serve.

Olmstead

Communications Supervisor

~on the Central California coastline~

" Not presumed to be an official statement of my employing agency. "

Home E-mail: mailto:gryeyes@...

http://www.gryeyes.com/