+Re: Wise Traditions - GAPS

[Guest guest]

Thank you for posting e. This was the first thread i have come

across the term " birthrape " , (Desh's post). I always felt

very " violated " after my first 3 births. Our 4th was the magical

one - the water homebirth. The one that left me feeling awed and

human, not disgusted and a freak in a freak show. Each one i left

the experience feeling that as much as i loved children and wanted a

house full, to continue going through that horrible birthing

experience - there was a major dilemma with each child. Do i get

preganant and go through that again or just not have anymore kids.

We could adopt. Our 4th left me feeling the exact opposite. I

would never ever have a hospital birth again, never. And the thought

of birthing future children is no longer this scary disgusting

concept. I typically feel so bad afterwards that intimacey with my

DH is even a disgusting thought even 6 or 9 months later. Leaving me

feeling violated again. So yes " birthrape " i think is extremely

fitting term. I am a very modest conservative type and each hopsital

birth humiliated me from the nurse who refused to let me have the

sheets over me and even went as far as yanking my gown up over my

whole body yelling at me this is no time to be modest, to the German

hospital where they left doors to the hall wide open and and had

strangers in and out of my room the entire time - it was like they

used the supply room for me. People were in and out every few

seconds that had nothing at all to do with our birth. They left the

door wiode open and my husband had to keep closing it. He was door

guard instead of by myside for most of it. Otherwise any passerby

could see right in and watch. We would tell them to keep out and

close the doors but they refused. Just as the nurse and my gowen. I

kept telling her to leave me alone and quit pulling my gown up and

leave me covered. She refused and yelled at me for it. To have a

team of people and bright lights aiming at you your crotch, like a

spectator sport. It was disgusting and horrible and i was always far

more tense and stressed and shed more tears over the way i felt like

a dog instead of a human. My first was a lot nicer experience but it

still had that display feeling i hate. The nurses and OB were

actually nice and respectful. But it was still procedure, not

relationship. Even though it was the normal (not extreme people like

the other 2) it still did not feel right. I did not have any

complications with any of them and did not endure medical treatment

that went bad. Outside of drive through times they wanted and the

pressure to take meds and epidurals in order to achieve them, and the

flagrant disrespect for my privacy and modesty, there was nothing

major that went wrong. I thank God too because that alone - the

pressure and disrespect, could have landed me a C section which most

women do not realize. It is exactly this kind of crap that sets the

stage for birthing complications. It is the over all feeling,

atmoshphere, and dehumanizing process that sets us up for failure as

long as the Doc and the hospital are covered who cares what happens

to baby and mama. If i only then...... i am thankful for the various

groups liek this one, DiscussNT and other alternative health groups.

Because it was people on the boards like those who spoke up here that

i learned about homebirthing from.

I cried a bit this birth, because once again i was feeling a bit like

something was taken from me. But not this time. All the other

times. I greived for them because of the bad experiences. I

wondered how many moms leave birth feeling the " baby blues " and how

much of it is really our bodies, how much is really the rape part of

it. I wonder how many feel/felt as badly as i did and can't/couldn't

separate it from the baby and if that is what really causes the

rejection. I grieved because i felt what i had gone through all the

other times was so unnecessary and that many other moms and babies

were going through the birthrape right then, instead of knowing they

have a choice to have an intimate birth iinstead of a sterile one.

--- In , Apple <justineraphael@...>

wrote:

>

> > I am sorry that so many of you have suffered birth rape. Hospital

> > birth is just. . . .panic.

>

> Gee whiz -- this is extreme!

>

> Birth rape?!

>

> _________

>

> Excuse me for responding to this so late, but I feel strongly

about

> this topic. I am trained as a homebirth midwife, have done birth

> support at many hospital births, and have had five of my own birth

> experiences--one in a hospital and four at home.

>

> Birth is a normal process of the body, NOT an illness. It is the

only

> normal thing that occurs in hospitals, and hospitals only know how

to

> cure and fix illness and injury.

>

> I don't think rape is too strong a word to describe what we see in

> most hospitals. I know many midwives who will never do birth

support

> in a