Sex education: Where ignorance is not bliss

[Guest guest]

Sex education: Where ignorance is not bliss

Namita Bhandare

My formal sex education at an all-girls convent school in New Delhi

can be summed up in two words: woefully inadequate.

What passed for it was a brief interlude when one fine day in biology

class in std IX, our NCERT-issued textbook opened with that

tantalizing chapter, " Reproduction " . A frisson of expectation ran

through the class as Mrs Ravindran began reading in her clear lilting

voice. Towards the end of the first sentence, however, the voice

became hushed as poor Mrs Ravindran (who had by then turned beetroot

red) put down the book and said: " Girls, you can read the rest of the

chapter on your own at home. "

" On your own at home " pretty much sums up our attitude to sex

education. We still hesitate to ask questions, speak " forbidden "

words or seek out information. A television ad for Naco (National

AIDS Control Organisation) highlights this ingrained reticence as it

urges men to boldly say " condom " , a forbidden word if ever there was

one. New sexual awakening? Hardly. In India, the urgency for sex

education is seen not in the context of sexuality, but of HIV/AIDS.

Last week, on 8 May, a widely reported judgement by justice Sanjay

Kishen Kaul brought back memories of my own formal sex education (or

lack of it). Justice Kaul was speaking in a vastly different context

while hearing complaints, mainly relating to obscenity, against

India's foremost artist, M.F. Husain, who is represented in India by

lawyer Akhil Sibal. Quashing three separate complaints, the judge

noted that in a different era " sex was embraced as an integral part

of a full and complete life " where people led " exotic lives dedicated

to sensuality in all its forms. It was healthy and artistic. They

studied sex, practised sex, shared techniques with friends and passed

on their secrets to the next generation. "

Wow. Lucky generation. The current generation, unfortunately, doesn't

have it quite so easy. You have only to read some of the so-called

agony aunt columns to realize the widespread ignorance: Can kissing

cause pregnancy? Will masturbation stunt growth? Will my husband come

to know that I am not a virgin?

Yet, the flag-bearers of public morality insist sex education goes

against the grain of our culture. Last year, opposition and ruling

party MLAs in Maharashtra, in a rare show of unanimity, got together

to ban school books on sex education for senior students on the

grounds that it corrupts young minds (they also banned an instruction

manual for teachers; so perhaps sex education corrupts adult minds,

too). Last month, the proposal to introduce sex education in schools

was stayed and a committee has now been appointed to look into the

issue.

Naco's attempt to produce a sex manual for schoolteachers hasn't met

with much luck. The manual has been banned in Gujarat, Madhya

Pradesh, Maharashtra, Karnataka, Rajasthan, Kerala, Chhattisgarh and

Goa. Last week, it came up with a new version in which terms such

as " penetrative sex " and " sexual intercourse " have been banished.

We now have a bizarre situation where the state which produces the

most films with their shimmy-shimmy, shake-shake item numbers and

blatant sexual innuendoes led by its own son of the soil, the late

Dada Kondke, refuses to teach its children even the basics of sex

education. Our morality brigade seems not to mind ads on prime time

TV for sundry aftershave products, shirts or men's underwear that

have women being " driven wild by passion " . The covers of our glossy

magazines have B-grade actresses pouting and posing in next to

nothing. We cheer little girls when they participate in talent

contests where they shake non-existent hips and breasts. Our

fashion " industry " seems to feed on the image of emaciated women

prone to frequent " wardrobe malfunctions " . But we stop short of

educating our children in the name of morality. Can anyone understand

why?

I am equally troubled by our interpretation of sex education to be

limited to either lessons about anatomy (biology) or the prevention

of HIV/AIDS (public health). To have any real meaning, sex education

must encompass all aspects of sexuality, and that includes

reproduction and birth control, sexually transmitted diseases,

including HIV/AIDS, sexual orientation, pleasure, relationships and

positive body image.

Sex education must be seen as an essential life skill where men and

women are taught about making informed choices and respecting

individual choices and each other. A national study on child abuse

last year by Prayas, a non-governmental organization, for the

ministry of women and child welfare found that 53.22% of all

respondents across 13 states had faced some sort of sexual abuse,

from inappropriate touching to violent sexual assault. Most children

didn't report the matter to anyone.

Knowledge is empowerment. I can understand the awkwardness in talking

about a taboo subject, but what's the awkwardness of one adult

compared to the education of a group of children? Anyone who says sex

education goes against the grain of our culture is simply behaving

like an ostrich, head in the sand. We simply don't have the luxury of

letting our children remain ignorant.

Namita Bhandare writes every other Tuesday on social trends. Send

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