Totally off topic; humour sent to me by friend with MS

[Guest guest]

Hello, Gang; I do not usually send this sort of thing,

but it was sent to me by a friend who has MS, and who

is not in our group, so I asked him whether I might

blind-copy (another baaaaad pun) it to the group,

and he gave permission. I do not know the source,

but am just corny enough to love puns.

Feel free to delete, ignore, trash or even shred!

Love,

n

Subject: Just for fun

1. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was SirCumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turnedout to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class becauseit was a weapon of math disruption. 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behindin his work. 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result

inLinoleum Blownapart. 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police arelooking into it. 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat saidto the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.' 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.' 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. Whenhis grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a

nurse said, 'No change yet.' 17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn'thave the balls to do it. 19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a smallmedium at large. 20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now aseasoned veteran. 21. A backward poet writes inverse. 22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's yourcount that votes. 23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 24. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects!