Re: Once a bubblebath, always a bubblebath.

[Guest guest]

you have been very busy! that is truly inspirational sara! i need to get on

top of things around here before i leave town on tuesday morning - i might know

which pile of laundry to dig through to find the kids clean socks but i am

thinking hubby does not ;o)

michelle

btw - we are a bubblebath free residence - out of control!!! enough said!

Once a bubblebath, always a bubblebath.

A few weeks ago, having a new bottle of baby bubblebath, I thought I would

give Mikey a treat.

We are now out of baby bubblebath, baby soap, and baby shampoo.

The Handy Dandy Notebooks are now residing on top of the fridge, and there

they shall stay for the forseeable future, or until we get two more so each

boy can have one notebook in each hand. Even that probably would not work

because would still want ALL the notebooks.

To distract my screaming children from this catastrophe, I ran a bath.

came running - he loves baths, as long as I don't try to CLEAN him

or anything - and promptly threw yet another tantrum. I knew instantly he

wanted a bubblebath, but the only thing in sight was Matt's dandruff

shampoo, and I somehow did not think that would be a kind thing for baby

skin to soak in.

So they are now bathing in a tub full of bubbles -- from dish soap. They

will smell lemony fresh...

I just hope he doesn't notice that his fingers are pruning and try to get me

to wipe the wrinkles off again...THAT was fun...

On the plus side, this place is CLEAN. Well, the living room, dining room,

kitchen, and hallway. Hot spots cleared, tile mopped, dusted ALL the

furniture, changed the water in the fish tanks and scrubbed off the algae,

swept the cobwebs off the ceiling, CLEAN. I just need to vacuum (can't run

the vacuum with Mikey home) and I did run the Bissell sweeper thingy.

Hooray! I also got 2 ceramic diffusors that sit on top of a lightbulb. You

fill them with essential oils. I have orange and lavender. So hopefully it

even smells good in here.

WHEW!

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

Wow, have you been busy!!!

Now all you need is a long hot soak for yourself!

Sue

[Guest guest]

Sara, you are so resourceful!!!!

I'll have to remember that trick about the dish soap!! LOL!!!

Jake sits in a bath so long and so often that I don't normally try to

clean him unless there is a dirty spot on his face or something, and I

only wash his hair when I absolutely have to (every other day or two).

Thank goodness for bubble baths or I might never get my house clean. :-)

~ Karin

[Guest guest]

> Sara, you are so resourceful!!!!

Why thank you! =)

> Jake sits in a bath so long and so often that I don't normally try to

> clean him unless there is a dirty spot on his face or something, and I

Ditto that. He just soaks clean.

They asked me at his OT eval for school how he handled daily grooming like

getting his face washed and his hair brushed. Am I supposed to be doing

these things every day?? I fail the mommy exam...

> only wash his hair when I absolutely have to (every other day or two).

Wow, how old is Jake?

I only wash Mikey's hair if he gets something in it. Really, a month or 6

weeks will go by. But he's a baby so it doesn't get greasy or anything.

(OK maybe he's not really a baby anymore, he just turned 3, but you know

what I mean.)

The last time I washed his hair, we had just eaten breakfast & were getting

ready to go to OT and he spilled oil into his hair. You would have thought

I was trying to drown him. Seriously. I got it washed and got us out the

door; he tantrummed all the way to OT (which he loves) and into the

building. As soon as we got inside he threw himself down on the floor and

just screamed and cried. I'm talking 45 minutes after he was out of the

tub. His OT told me not to wash his hair unless it is absolutely necessary.

She believes these sensory issues should not be forced; i.e. he should not

be forced to " get used to it. " She says it doesn't work and will only make

his anxiety worse.

> Thank goodness for bubble baths or I might never get my house clean. :-)

I hear that!

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

>

> > > only wash his hair when I absolutely have to (every other day

or two).

Question ? Have you ever tried putting on a swimsuit and taking a

shower with him? Noah used to be terrified of baths and showers

untill he saw that mommy does it too ...It took a few times but

within 2 weeks he looked forward to shower time and now loves it.

I sat down and let him wash my hair a few times, then I said Noah's

turn and washed his. It takes a little more time but he's clean. Try

it, it might help...

Amy mom to

Noah 6 Lucas 8 ASD's

[Guest guest]

We're about every week and a half to 2 weeks. Depends on how hot and sweaty

he gets. I usually wait until Granny comes over, and let her do it. :-) He

behaves much better for her than for me. He gets a bath every 2 to 3 days,

and I basically let the dirt soak off, rather than wash him. I MIGHT make a

quick pass of the face if it's real bad, but usually it's not. I do mine

first, and then, tell him it's his turn. He doesn't like it much, but he

puts up with it. The hair though, that's a BIG hurdle. WEird thing is, he

LOVES the tub. Go figure.

ellen

Re: Re: Once a bubblebath, always a

bubblebath.

> > only wash his hair when I absolutely have to (every other day or two).

>

I missed this one first time round. Every other DAY??????

We manage once a WEEK.

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[Guest guest]

> > only wash his hair when I absolutely have to (every other day or two).

>

I missed this one first time round. Every other DAY??????

We manage once a WEEK.

Yes, my son looks like one of those unfortunate little disabled kids -- he

dresses himself and NEVER matches; his hair is rarely washed and sticks out

all over the place dirty OR clean (but won't spike out in a brush cut); he

always has food on his face I managed to miss with the washcloth; his pants

ALWAYS pull up over his socks; his favorite shirts are all too short and he

won't give them up.

<sigh>

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

this would be one of those examples of how all of our kids can be so different

from each other despite their similar diagnosis! rowan washes his hair EVERYDAY

sometimes more than once if he manages to sneak in the shower with me, paul,

sebastian. he also would never be caught with food anywhere on his person or

clothing - he's way too obsessive compulsive for that. if he notices that he

has food, dirt etc on his shirt or whatever he immediately changes into a clean

one!

michelle

Re: Re: Once a bubblebath, always a bubblebath.

> > only wash his hair when I absolutely have to (every other day or two).

>

I missed this one first time round. Every other DAY??????

We manage once a WEEK.

Yes, my son looks like one of those unfortunate little disabled kids -- he

dresses himself and NEVER matches; his hair is rarely washed and sticks out

all over the place dirty OR clean (but won't spike out in a brush cut); he

always has food on his face I managed to miss with the washcloth; his pants

ALWAYS pull up over his socks; his favorite shirts are all too short and he

won't give them up.

<sigh>

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

I'm going to attempt to cut and paste so I can answer a few different

posters with one e-mail.

The Byks wrote:

> > Wow, how old is Jake?

>

> I only wash Mikey's hair if he gets something in it. Really, a month or 6

> weeks will go by. But he's a baby so it doesn't get greasy or anything.

> (OK maybe he's not really a baby anymore, he just turned 3, but you know

> what I mean.)

Jake is 3 and about 4 months. I'm thinking that maybe his sensory

issues with his head must not be as bad as some of the other kids here

because it's not too big of a deal. He really freaks out when he has to

get his hair cut but hair washings are kind of a couple of screams and

then it's over. I guess I've just gotten used to it. It's not a real

tantrum or melt down, it's just extreme displeasure with the idea. I

think the major issue is water dripping down his face and in his eyes.

So it must not be the same as what you're describing.

> The last time I washed his hair, we had just eaten breakfast & were getting

> ready to go to OT and he spilled oil into his hair. You would have thought

> I was trying to drown him. Seriously. I got it washed and got us out the

> door; he tantrummed all the way to OT (which he loves) and into the

> building. As soon as we got inside he threw himself down on the floor and

> just screamed and cried. I'm talking 45 minutes after he was out of the

> tub. His OT told me not to wash his hair unless it is absolutely necessary.

> She believes these sensory issues should not be forced; i.e. he should not

> be forced to " get used to it. " She says it doesn't work and will only make

> his anxiety worse.

Well, we have probably forced him to get used to a lot of things that we

shouldn't have. :/ He has never had a tantrum like what you described

above. Last week he had to have blood drawn and it was very traumatic

and painful and it was so bad that I was bawling my eyes out when we

left the lab but when it was over, it was over for Jake. By the time we

got to the car he looked like nothing had happened to him. However

lately he has been " tantruming " a little bit more than he used to. When

he doesn't get something he wants he yells really loudly (almost scream,

or sometimes he does scream) and he has been laying down on his stomach

and beating his fists into the floor and kicking his legs. I think he

may have actually learned this from a Bugs Bunny cartoon tape he has.

It doesn't last too long because we refuse to let him continue on so he

stops and reduces to plain crying within a minute or so. So I guess he

doesn't have that issue...(yet????) Ever since he was very, very little

we would be very strict about his crying fits, thinking we would never

let him throw a fit (you know how stupid new parents can be) anyway, my

husband developed a thing with him that whenever he started going over

the limit with his crying my husband would speak very sternly to him and

say " EASY " and his deep voice seemed to scare Jake enough into calming

down somewhat. He would still cry a little but would never really throw

a full blown fit. To this day we say " EASY " and now Jake repeats " Easy "

albeit in a crying fashion but he begins to calm down. At the

Renaissance Festival Jake was having a true meltdown about not being

able to go on the ponies again but I couldn't take time to deal with it

because I had to run to get the rented stroller turned in on time so

Jake was coming behind me yelling and crying and this man yelled at him

" Hey, there's no crying at the Renaissance Fair! " (not in a particularly

mean way, he was just trying to say it loud enough so Jake could hear

him and he was kind of joking) anyway, Jake was so startled that he

immediately shut up. He eventually resumed crying a little bit, but not

in an out of control way.

I'm just afraid that maybe we're forcing him into an Autistic

(internalizing) stance by stopping him from throwing a fit. ??? Don't

know if that makes any sense or not.

Well, this e-mail turned into something besides baths, so I'm going to

quit this one here. It certainly has gone on long enough. Anybody

still here? ;-)

~ Karin

[Guest guest]

Amy wrote:

> Question ? Have you ever tried putting on a swimsuit and taking a

> shower with him? Noah used to be terrified of baths and showers

> untill he saw that mommy does it too ...It took a few times but

> within 2 weeks he looked forward to shower time and now loves it.

Ummmm. Yes. I guess it's time I start wearing a swimsuit. :-)

You know I'm a midwife, and I'm also a throwback to the 60's/70's era of

hippies and nakedness. LOL....

>

> I sat down and let him wash my hair a few times, then I said Noah's

> turn and washed his. It takes a little more time but he's clean. Try

> it, it might help...

This is a great idea! I haven't let him wash my hair yet, but it's

something to try!!!

~ Karin

[Guest guest]

AMEN!

>>>>>>>>

Besides, if he learns to tell *himself* to take it easy, then he has learned

a calming-down tool he can use for the rest of his life!

Jacquie

<<<<<<

[Guest guest]

>>he also would never be caught with food anywhere on his person or

clothing - he's way too obsessive compulsive for that. if he notices that

he has food, dirt etc on his shirt or whatever he immediately changes into

a clean one! <<

That's Boone. Not even a drop of water can be on his clothes. He does not

get dirty.

He lives for the hot tub but won't take a bath. It has to be a shower.

Sissi

[Guest guest]

> > I'm just afraid that maybe we're forcing him into an Autistic

> > (internalizing) stance by stopping him from throwing a fit. ??? Don't

> > know if that makes any sense or not.

>

>

> Don't worry about that, Karin. These kids know themselves what they need

to

> do, and if Jake really NEEDED to throw a wobbler, he would -- and there'd

be

> no stopping him with all the 'easy' s in the world. :-)

I have a feeling, Karin, that you will look back at this post one day and

say ---WHAT THE HECK WAS I SAYING???

Boone used to calm himself with 'sokay, 'sokay. But that just doesn't cut it

anymore. Oh, how I miss those days.

Sissi

Kids' Page

http://www.isoa.net/~nitetrax/original.htm

Boone's Art Page

http://www.isoa.net/~nitetrax/bart.htm

Dillon's Music Page

http://www.geocities.com/flaremusic

Please sign petition:

www.geocities.com/stopleland

[Guest guest]

> I'm just afraid that maybe we're forcing him into an Autistic

> (internalizing) stance by stopping him from throwing a fit. ??? Don't

> know if that makes any sense or not.

Don't worry about that, Karin. These kids know themselves what they need to

do, and if Jake really NEEDED to throw a wobbler, he would -- and there'd be

no stopping him with all the 'easy' s in the world. :-)

Besides, if he learns to tell *himself* to take it easy, then he has learned

a calming-down tool he can use for the rest of his life!

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Sissi Garvey wrote:

> I have a feeling, Karin, that you will look back at this post one day and

> say ---WHAT THE HECK WAS I SAYING???

>

> Boone used to calm himself with 'sokay, 'sokay. But that just doesn't cut it

> anymore. Oh, how I miss those days.

Yeah... that's what I was afraid of.... I've had a feeling that he is

*beginning* a tantrum thing... :/

Weird, most kids after they are 2/3 yrs. they are past most of that, but

it sounds like he may get worse after having a " relatively " easy 2/3

year old stretch.

~ Karin

[Guest guest]

i know for rowan the " terrible twos " and tantrums came at four, which makes

sense because he was 18-24 months delayed at that time.

michelle

Re: Re: Once a bubblebath, always a bubblebath.

Sissi Garvey wrote:

> I have a feeling, Karin, that you will look back at this post one day and

> say ---WHAT THE HECK WAS I SAYING???

>

> Boone used to calm himself with 'sokay, 'sokay. But that just doesn't cut it

> anymore. Oh, how I miss those days.

Yeah... that's what I was afraid of.... I've had a feeling that he is

*beginning* a tantrum thing... :/

Weird, most kids after they are 2/3 yrs. they are past most of that, but

it sounds like he may get worse after having a " relatively " easy 2/3

year old stretch.

~ Karin

[Guest guest]

OH MAN!!!!!!! Are you telling me that Matt's tantrums are going to get WORSE

before they get better?? He's almost 3 but at about 18-24 months

developmentally, except for language, which is at about 14 months.

ellen

Re: Re: Once a bubblebath, always a

bubblebath.

i know for rowan the " terrible twos " and tantrums came at four, which

makes sense because he was 18-24 months delayed at that time.

michelle

Re: Re: Once a bubblebath, always a

bubblebath.

Sissi Garvey wrote:

> I have a feeling, Karin, that you will look back at this post one day

and

> say ---WHAT THE HECK WAS I SAYING???

>

> Boone used to calm himself with 'sokay, 'sokay. But that just doesn't

cut it

> anymore. Oh, how I miss those days.

Yeah... that's what I was afraid of.... I've had a feeling that he is

*beginning* a tantrum thing... :/

Weird, most kids after they are 2/3 yrs. they are past most of that, but

it sounds like he may get worse after having a " relatively " easy 2/3

year old stretch.

~ Karin

[Guest guest]

Andy loves his baths too. He has to stand in the tub to get his hair washed,

then he will sit down. No face washing, but he will let me soap his back and his

tummy. I bath him every 3 or 4 days.

Ali

weinberg@... wrote:

We're about every week and a half to 2 weeks. Depends on how hot and sweaty

he gets. I usually wait until Granny comes over, and let her do it. :-) He

behaves much better for her than for me. He gets a bath every 2 to 3 days,

and I basically let the dirt soak off, rather than wash him. I MIGHT make a

quick pass of the face if it's real bad, but usually it's not. I do mine

first, and then, tell him it's his turn. He doesn't like it much, but he

puts up with it. The hair though, that's a BIG hurdle. WEird thing is, he

LOVES the tub. Go figure.

[Guest guest]

> >>he also would never be caught with food anywhere on his person or

> clothing - he's way too obsessive compulsive for that. if he

notices that

> he has food, dirt etc on his shirt or whatever he immediately

changes into

> a clean one! <<

>

> That's Boone. Not even a drop of water can be on his clothes. He

does not

> get dirty.

>

> He lives for the hot tub but won't take a bath. It has to be a

shower.

>

> Sissi

Noah too, he changes immediately and it he can't i usually have to

turn his shirt backwards so he can't see he's dropped on himself.

Amy mom to

Noah 6 Lucas 8 ASD's

[Guest guest]

> OH MAN!!!!!!! Are you telling me that Matt's tantrums are going

> to get WORSE

> before they get better?? He's almost 3 but at about 18-24 months

> developmentally, except for language, which is at about 14 months.

It's possible but not by any means definite.

Mikey has had horrible tantrums since he was about 9 months old. If you

touched him or even looked at him they escalated or started over. Here I am

trying to be this loving giving supportive mother, and when my child seems

to need me the most, I only make things worse for him! At one point they

were lasting 3 hours and he was self-abusing. 30-45 minute tantrums are

still common but most of the time we just take them in stride.

I think Mikey is kind of an extreme example with this, though. Yes,

autistic kids are known for having severe tantrums and it may become more of

a problem for you, but it may also be that this isn't a huge issue for your

Matt. Mikey has severe to profound sensory integration issues and these

cause him lots of anxiety, hence the severity of his tantrums. Matt may not

be as severely affected in this way. He may have better coping or

self-soothing skills (Mikey was never able to self-sooth as an infant) and

he may have better communication skills (not the same as language! .

Those would be big positives for him.

Wow, I used " hence " in a sentence.

-Sara.

running on 4 hours of sleep, sorry if this doens't make a lot of sense!!

[Guest guest]

> Gawd, am I the ONLY one with a slob???????????

Jacquie <

hahahahahahaha, nope :-P

" Something important to remember...we'll always be who we are. " - Mr.

[Guest guest]

> OH MAN!!!!!!! Are you telling me that Matt's tantrums are going to get

WORSE

> before they get better?? He's almost 3 but at about 18-24 months

> developmentally, except for language, which is at about 14 months.

>

> ellen

Dont' get your undies in a twist, you guys!

popular literature says that autism usually takes a turn for the better

around 4. That doesn't necessarily mean the behaviours that are driving you

nuts right now will escalate until 4! Maybe they will, maybe they won't.

You just have to wait and see.

never even had a tantrum. Crying jags, but no tantrums. And around 4,

they started to peter off.

Don't go looking for things to worry about, ladies -- life has given you

quite enough for the moment. :-)

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Gawd, am I the ONLY one with a slob???????????

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

>

> Gawd, am I the ONLY one with a slob??????????? >

Well...I got one here who is both a compulsive bath taker (like 6 a

day) and a " oh...is that 12 inch swath of peanut butter on my tummy

BOTHERING you? " And in a perfect " " world, hairwashing would

NEVER happen...

Raena

[Guest guest]

> Gawd, am I the ONLY one with a slob???????????

No.

-Sara.