Re: Queen of the pity parties

[Guest guest]

Bennie I have been there so many times in the last few weeks but I am a

Christian and don't believe in suicide (just my beliefs, not judging anyone).

Plus I always wonder if the next day will be better and sometimes it is and

sometimes it's not. Sooner or later though there is a brighter day. I love to

watch dramas and " murder " shows too. I watch comedies every once in a while but

I like serious shows better. Sometimes I wonder if that's why I don't laugh as

much as I used to.

Hugs.

SHELL

>Bennie wrote:

>I am allowing the pity party until tomorrow and then do something else about

it. Off to watch murders or comedy, don't know which one.

[Guest guest]

> Shell wrote:

> Bennie I have been there so many times in the last few weeks but I am a

Christian and don't believe in suicide (just my beliefs, not judging anyone).

Plus I always wonder if the next day will be better and sometimes it is and

sometimes it's not. Sooner or later though there is a brighter day. I love to

watch dramas and " murder " shows too. I watch comedies every once in a while but

I like serious shows better. Sometimes I wonder if that's why I don't laugh as

much as I used to.

Shell,

I was having just a pity party not a suicide party, just want you guys to know.

I also respect others beliefs and members here care immensely.

Myself also, but I went to a Bible Study on suicide when my adored pastor jumped

off Jewish Psychiatric Ward outside after he was being treated with ADDHD

and depression concurrently and come to find out there were many

contrindications with his medication and he thought he was no longer worthwhile.

This was the farthest thing from the truth as he cared for everyone and he,

himself, felt he had not helped enough !

This was an eye opener for the congregation and we realized that we need to care

for one another and edify each other.

Actually, this forum is not where we should talk about it but the Bible does not

state someone will go to hell if they commit suicide.

http://christianteens.about.com/od/advice/a/WBSA_Suicide.htm is a very good

article.

I also have faith. When I have a pity party, I time myself and they say, okay,

it's done. Also I try to do something for someone else when I am pitying

myself or remember someone else and its hard to feel sorry for yourself when you

care for someone else.

When my husband come homes he says is this a murder day or TCM day (old movies).

These are diversions from pain.

I also remember that patients in severe pain in dying sometimes have that day

that family states they are so much better and the body kicks in endorphins

(like morphine) to help and then they pass away.

I also remember one of my patients wrapping pillow cases and tying them and

family said she was bailing cotton like younger years. The body does have the

ability to go into that " shock " and secret those endorphins.

I have experienced a " near death " situation when I lost 8 units of blood and it

was very warm and there was a warm light around me and it was if I was floating

on the warm salt water on the ocean and the light source was far away. Then

they dropped me from my shock blocks and took me to emergency surgery and I

realized what was going on even though I wondered who had that 30/50 blood

pressure as I was assessing that pale white woman in the bed (me)

I was glad when they brought my baby to me but I do try to stay focus and lucky

to have this group and my friends are all deserted and out of state and it is

hard for me to commit to dates because of pain and I have to assist with my Dad

six hours away.

I read Scientific America and other magazines and they have stated spirituality

does decrease pain when you can focus on it and I went to biofeedback years ago

and was so surprised that I could lower my temperature and heart rate by

breathing, etc.

But when the Pain doesn't respond to our demands, its hard and requires other

intervention, i.e. muscle relaxants.

So Party is over tomorrow and spring cleaning Tuesday requires sheet changes and

ceiling fans dusted. Love to all Bennie

[Guest guest]

A good way I spend my pity-party days is watching Lifetime Movie Network. On the

weekends they have some crazy stuff. My sister calls them man-hater movies! LOL

I agree with Shell..Sometimes I just take it 1 hour at a time, and sometimes

that next hour I start feeling better.

(((Hugs))) to all !

S

>Bennie wrote:

>I am allowing the pity party until tomorrow and then do something else about

it. Off to watch murders or comedy, don't know which one.

[Guest guest]

((((((((((Bennie))))))))) Can I come to the party? I bring some chips and dip.

To bad the group doesn't live closer together. It actually might be

theraputic to have a pity party!

Lots of gentle hugs, Tami

>

> Well,

>

> I am having a fibro flare and having a pity party or is it vice versa. When

you are pain and your financies and other things get to the point, I sometimes

wonder, why do I have to put up with this Sh... ?

>

> I am allowing the pity party until tomorrow and then do something else about

it. Off to watch murders or comedy, don't know which one.

>

> Love to all. Bennie

>

[Guest guest]

I've had those pity parties a few times (OK, a LOT of times!), and sometimes

they are necessary for NOT going down a worse road. Just a pity party doesn't

mean you're suicidal, it just means you've hit a place where you hurt so bad

that nothing seems to distract you and for a certain amount of time, you want to

sit around and gripe, whimper, cry and feel sorry for yourself.

I usually tell my daughter and husband, it's a bad day and I'm

going to wallow for a while. My hubby then picks up chocolate, so when he comes

home from work, he sticks the chocolate in the door. FIRST, in case I'm

" pissy " ...he figures I'll go for the chocolate and he can sneak past, LMAO.

It's an old joke between the family..if I'm feeling bad, lead with the

chocolate, LOL

Marta

[Guest guest]

A wrote:

> ((((((((((Bennie))))))))) Can I come to the party? I bring some chips and

dip. To bad the group doesn't live closer together. It actually might be

theraputic to have a pity party!

>

Lots of gentle hugs, Tami Tami,

If you don't mind the dogs in the bed and I can't sit or stand so if you do not

lke lying down in the bed, you have to lie on the pillow on the floor : )

I would love to meet you and others also. I have lots of floor space. That

would be interesting comparing our pains. I can just hear it now " Well, I hurt

more than you do " , No you don't I am at a level 12 ! Smiling as I write this.

Bennie

,

>

[Guest guest]

Bennie,

Sometimes my " pity parties " are not just 1 nighters! LOL! If my pain is

really bad due to stress or the weather, the party might last for a couple of

days. But because it's hard to party alone and I really do prefer to be with

others, I try to get back in the swing of life as soon as possible.

I think you are an amazing lady and your stories help me out a lot as well as

what others in this group share. You all do a great job of helping me refocus

on what everyone in chronic pain has to endure.

Becky

[Guest guest]

That's so funny Marta!!!!  Good advice for all the hubbies out there!!;-0

Shell

Marta wrote:

I usually tell my daughter and husband, it's a bad day and I'm

going to wallow for a while. My hubby then picks up chocolate, so when he comes

home from work, he sticks the chocolate in the door. FIRST, in case I'm

" pissy " ...he figures I'll go for the chocolate and he can sneak past, LMAO.

It's an old joke between the family,if I'm feeling bad, lead with the

chocolate, LOL

[Guest guest]

S wrote:

> A good way I spend my pity-party days is watching Lifetime Movie Network. On

the weekends they have some crazy stuff. My sister calls them man-hater movies!

LOL

My husband calls Lifetime " The All Men Are Assholes " channel. :-)

I've had a really rough couple of months of head pain. Between just

trying to think and accomplish anything at work, I've been grateful for

DVDs at home. I can pick what I want from my home collection or from

Netflix. Usually, it's late in the evening and I end up falling asleep

for a couple of hours on the couch. DVDs are great 'cause I can go back

to where I fell asleep and see the rest of the story later.

Lyndi

Still A Trekkie

[Guest guest]

Tami wrote:

> ((((((((((Bennie))))))))) Can I come to the party? I bring some chips and

dip. To bad the group doesn't live closer together. It actually might be

therapeutic to have a pity party!

I've been at a few of those, although they were called meetings. :-) It

ends up being " my pain is worse than your pain because... " or " my

disability is worse than your disability because... "

My favourite was at a conference where a group of paraplegics were

arguing about whose paraplegia was more " important. " Some got theirs in

car accidents, some from illness, some in the military. It was

hilarious watching a group of people, from around the world, trying to

one up each other over paraplegia. When they were done with that, they

started arguing over manual versus electric wheelchairs.

Sometimes my work brings me laughter - for the strangest reasons. :-)

Lyndi

[Guest guest]

Becky wrote:

> Bennie,

> Sometimes my " pity parties " are not just 1 nighters! LOL! If my pain is

really bad due to stress or the weather, the party might last for a couple of

days. But because it's hard to party alone and I really do prefer to be with

others, I try to get back in the swing of life as soon as possible.

>

> I think you are an amazing lady and your stories help me out a lot as well as

what others in this group share. You all do a great job of helping me refocus

on what everyone in chronic pain has to endure.

>

Becky,

I love you to ~ I miss when you do not post and if I did not have

you guys, I would not do as well as I do. Take care of yourself as you are

worth it and all of us with chronic pain have to have that focal point or area.

Mine are my dogs, my dog rescue friends, and

my favorite TV programs. Right now I am watching Dog the bounty hunter and

saying " Go get em, Dog " Now, I have to watch it when I start talking back to

the TV.

I went out at 3am the other night and put up my flag when I heard OSAMA BIN

LADEN had be captured and killed. It was in support of

the troops and not anything political or I am not professing and political

opinion.

It is just these type of " focal areas " that remind me I still can contribute to

the world. Please keep in touch and I will invite

you to my parties anytime.

I never thought when I was treating pain patients in the medical field that I

would be one myself. I think that has helped me a lot.

Bennie

[Guest guest]

Hi Bennie.I did animal rescue for over 15 years, starting with breed

specific rescue (Lhasa Apsos) , moving to Ferrets, then finally to all breed

dog and cat. It really gave me a reason to stay moving.no matter how much

pain *I* was in, I knew there were animals that needed me in just as much.

In 2009, it finally got to be too much living in the middle of nowhere so I

could keep rescuing/rehabbing and I moved to town. I still have a few of

the Rescue Babies that have become my personal pets because they couldn't be

placed for one reason or another. Now it's my personal babies that keep me

going. They need feeding, loving and as my nearly 15 year old Lhasa just

reminded me, belly scratches, LOL. I don't know what I'd do without the

dogs, cats, bird and bunny!

And I watch a lot of TV too.right now, my daughter is coming into be with me

during the day while her husband works. so we're watching a lot of " her "

shows, but I've come to enjoy them a LOT. And I'm getting her hooked on some

of mine too, LOL. I LOVE Shark Men and this season, Deanna has come to

really enjoy the show, so we DVR it and watch it together. I still can't get

her to watch Dog, or Operation Repo, but she is slowly coming around to my

way of thinking on reality TV.LMAO. IN the meanwhile, I really enjoy

Supernatural, Glee, and a few others... And I talk to the TV too! Though

for me, Deanna talked me into getting a PS3; mainly for the Netflix directly

to the TV..though now I'm playing this )(#)(*%#)(*)(*%# game called Dragon

Age and I end up yelling at the TV a LOT when I make dumb mistakes, LMAO!

Marta

>Bennie wrote:

I love you to ~ I miss when you do not post and if I did not have

you guys, I would not do as well as I do. Take care of yourself as you are

worth it and all of us with chronic pain have to have that focal point or

area. Mine are my dogs, my dog rescue friends, and

my favorite TV programs. Right now I am watching Dog the bounty hunter and

saying " Go get em, Dog " Now, I have to watch it when I start talking back to

the TV.

[Guest guest]

>Bennie wrote:

" It is just these type of " focal areas " that remind me I still can contribute to

the world. "

" I never thought when I was treating pain patients in the medical field that I

would be one myself. I think that has helped me a lot. "

Bennie,

I bet that experience is probably very helpful! I like the

idea of reminders you can still contribute to the world. Hits the nail on the

head for me today.

Pity Parties are good (I hope) and that's why I love the group. People really

cannot understand , even though so many are well meaning and compassionate. I'm

very thankful I can get on, lurk, read and well, this group has been very

helpful to me.

I'm sorry I haven't been more active guys. I had the trial, then more legal hold

ups on getting my judgment, and the weather here.

I'm in Southeast so it's been constant tornadoes, flooding happening as I'm

between Tunica and Memphis-GREAT weather for my pain- NOT! AND my cousin had 2

strokes that left him completely blind, and we live across the street from each

other so I'm trying to help as I can; all of that plus my pain being in my right

arm/hand/wrist and this weather making it worse has had me more lurking than

posting and I apologize for that- AND for the rambling excuse I just gave.

My POINT (did I have one?) is that I'm thankful you feel okay about posting to

us that you ARE having a pity party! Even the most positive people surely have

one from time to time. (hugs)