Re: Wishing we could still work

[Guest guest]

What makes it hard for other people to understand my condition and how it

effects me and why I can't work is the fact that it isn't stable.

I still have hours and sometimes even whole days when the pain recedes and I can

do most of what I used to be able to do. That is when I run around like a crazy

person trying to accomplish all the things i had to let slide when I couldn't

get out of bed, or the

house or bear to hear anything, because of a Migraine or I couldn't

move without severe pain.

I have finally gotten back on my time release Ultram although at a lower dosage

but it is still helping. Nevertheless I never can

count on being Ok enough when I wake up in the morning.

I can start out fine but then 2 hours later be in severe pain and vice versa. I

don't know why my condition is so unstable and why

some days the medication seems to work well while on other days it hardly does

anything for me.

I have learned what triggers my Migraines and try to avoid all

those offending foods. I know that letting myself get very tired can trigger

anything, so I must see to it that I get adequate rest. I know that certain

emotions can make me more vulnerable to the

onset of greater pain.

I used to bemoan my fate and feel so sorry for myself. Now when i wake up and

feel OK I am happy for whatever time the feeling lasts.

I have learned to accept things for what they are and to be grateful for those

days or hours when I feel almost normal.

If i could somehow find a job I could just do whenever i felt OK I think I could

manage part time work. There are few such occupations that allow you to make

your own hours depending on how you feel

from day to day or hour to hour.

Being a freelance writer might be something for me to consider although I

couldn't ever be tied to any deadlines. In my fantasy

world I still have some hope that I will be able to become less unstable and to

work again as soon as the horrible stress from my 7 year battle to be divorced

from my Psychopath husband ends.

a

[Guest guest]

I am very fortunate to have a job that I can still do. I have one group of

kindergarten students. I get up and teach them and then come straight home to

bed.

Technology saved me with the invention of the laptop. I can do almost all my

evening preparation work from my laptop so I can be flat on my back. I also am

in bed most of the weekend except for my rare trips to the store to stock up on

supplies. I try to only go once a month.

Thank goodness for all my sick time I was allowed to accumulate before pain

struck me down 3 years ago, too. Now I take days off when I need them and of

course with teaching we do have summers off and lots of other holidays.

My doctor volunteered to fill out disability forms for me but I am 2 years away

from retirement and am trying to hang in there and finish it out.

Some days I admit I do want to scream and say enough is enough but then one of

the chiildren will say something sweet and make me glad I forced myself out of

bed. Since I am alone I am so afraid if I did not work, I would stay in bed all

the time.

Becky