Re: need moral support bc. I am pulling an all-nighter at the computer to get a presentation done by Wednesday and sitting here makes the pain MUCH worse :-/

[Guest guest]

> Hi All,

>

> Basically, the subject states it all. I am working on a ppt

> presentation that has to be done by noon on Wednesday.

Hi

Good luck, I will be thinking about you.

Kaylene

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

Thank you so much to those who read my message and to those who were able to

respond to it. I was indeed up all night at the computer, but surprisingly my

pain never got above a 7, and even more surprisingly, I was able to tolerate

that and push through. I think that my dogged determination in feeling that it

was " life-or-death " helped me fight through that.--i.e., I was in the " fight "

mode of the " fight or flight " response, and the brain chemicals released in that

mindset helped my pain not become so severe (or else, I did not notice it become

severe) and helped me to work through it.

In terms of my ppt., I never did finish it. :-( But fortunately, the

presentation was cancelled at the last minute, but not because of me or my

stress. My research adviser sent me an email stating that, when research is

being conducting involving " more than one academic unit " (in this case, the

psych dept., the university college [another division within my university], and

the mentoring/tutoring center [another major division]), then " procedure " is for

faculty and staff to talk about it " before involving a student " . She said that

she " prematurely " set up the presentation, and reassured me that my stressors

have nothing to do with the cancellation.

Thank god, because I was terrified that I ruined my reputation by sending her a

very, very long and emotionally distraught email yesterday morning, an hour

before I received her email regarding the cancellation (which was not the

reassuring one; that one was this morning). I felt so depressed, ashamed, and

embarrassed--I really just wanted to crawl into a dark hole and hide for the

rest of my life. I feel so relieved, though, having gotten her reassuring email

this morning.

So, right now I am not at school, even though the meeting was supposed to start

30 minutes ago. I am just trying to chill out and relax and try to get my

bearings on reality. I was up yesterday until 8:30pm last night before I went to

bed, after having been up all night before. I slept until 11am this morning. Now

I am caught up on sleep, so I feel much more grounded.

Well, that's all for now. Thanks again for your wonderful support. :-)

e.h.

--

If cognitive dissonance teaches us nothing else, it's that you have the power to

convince yourself.

You can't change the future; you can only change the present. But if you change

the present, then the future changes automatically.

[Guest guest]

> E. H. wrote:

> Basically, the subject states it all. I am working on a ppt presentation that

has to be done by noon on Wednesday. It is now midnight between Monday night and

Tuesday morning. I have until around 10am this (Tuesday) morning, and then I

won't be able to work on it again until between 2-3pm on Tuesday. Then I will

have until 7-8pm before I will be too exhausted to work on it. Plus I will need

lots of sleep that night because I have to be well-rested in order to be less

anxious on Wednesday at noon.

,

Just a FYI, Kinkos has a department that assists you in preparing a portfolio or

power point if it is the computer aspect of it. Most stores are open 24 hours

and many of us Graduate students of the past have spent midnite hours there

copying or preparing reports, portfolios, or power points.

I have found the power point templates in the program to be the best , you just

have to remember to change the background every now and then if you are

presenting to the same audience or they might be saying " I have seen this

before " .

These are the times that you save your extra medications for. I went to a

wedding this past weekend that was outside in one hundred degree temperatures

and I thought I would die as there was no shade. The bride was my niece by

marriage and she could care less if I was there, the food was horrible, snacks

of cheese, vegetables were melted, the cake was horrible but I put on my make up

and trudged through it, taking my pain meds thirty minutes early and going into

the guest house with air conditioner for breaks.

I did this all for my wonderful husband but still paying for it today and I also

raked the yard, vacuumed the whole house, mowed the back lawn, prepared a meal

and for others this might be easy, but for a pain patient it is like moving a

mountain. I have so much spasm, I could cry but I will make it.

So, take breaks and it will be okay. Bennie

[Guest guest]

Bennie,

Thanks for your support! Unfortunately, it is not the computer aspect of it

that makes it difficult for me. I am excellent with power point, and other MS

Office products; if it were that easy a problem to solve, then I would be on

Cloud 9!!

I have actually had this problem for years, since a head injury at age 8.

The problem is one with executive function when it comes to organizing,

planning, prioritizing, etc for big projects--including primarily writing

papers and preparing presentations. Working independently and without

structure on such things is nearly impossible for me.

I have wondered if I have a learning disability, but I am not sure. Most of

what I read on executive function problems are problems with EF in ALL areas

of life--not simply academic work. And most of what I have read on writing

disabilities (agraphia) are problems with spelling, punctuation, grammar, and

so on--which I have no trouble with at all. I have read an article on

" dysexecutive agraphia " which suggests a learning disability that combines

the two, but that is where people can't get *anything* out on the page, and

I can--it just takes forever.

Long ago, when I was in middle and high school, I would complain that I had

" writer's block " , which was my excuse for not getting anything written.I did

not remember that I ever complained of this until yesterday, though, when I

read an article on a writers' website that mentioned writers' block in terms

of executive dysfunction. I did some searching through my school library's

databases, and found upwards of 100 scholarly articles on writers' block

alone!! I haven't had time to look at more than one of them yet, though, so

that is something for me to do in the next few weeks.

As to pain, I am surprised that I only hit up to a 7 on the 0-10 scale. I

didn't take any of my meds because I don't have any " extra " right now. I

have just barely enough to get me to my appt with my neurologist on the 9th,

but then it will be another god-know's-how-long before I can get in to see

the doctor (also a neurologist) who prescribes the pain meds. I am hoping

that my neuro that I will see on the 9th will prescribe me SOMETHING to get

me through that time period.

I am sorry you had to be in so much pain during your niece's wedding. I

don't know if I could have taken the heat for that long, as I get heat

exhaustion very easily. I hope that there were at least chairs to sit in all

the time and cold water to drink. I can't stand for very long periods of

time, either (like, longer than a few minutes). I also have no idea how you

managed to do all that heavy-lifting/-pushing type stuff. I know that just

vacuuming my tiny little apartment puts me in pain for three whole days. I

am really impressed how other people in pain do this kind of thing.

Well, I have to conclude this article here because I am moving tomorrow, and

I have to take care of a TON of stuff that I haven't even begun to take care

of yet. Today is a VERY high-stress day for me.

Thanks again for your support,

e.h.

>

> ,

> These are the times that you save your extra medications for. I went to a

> wedding this past weekend that was outside in one hundred degree

> temperatures and I thought I would die as there was no shade. The bride was

> my niece by marriage and she could care less if I was there.

[Guest guest]

> E. H. wrote:

> TI have wondered if I have a learning disability, but I am not sure.

,

Kinkos helps with the writing, organizing, and preparing the power point. They

do more than just copying etc.

I have worked with students with disabilities and processing delays which occur

most often with brain injuries or by birth.

At your college there is a section called " Special Services " which can assist you

with these issues and others which can allow you

more time in testing or different presentation avenues that Instructors adhere

to.

It would be worth your while to visit them. When you have the type of disability

you are talking about, there are other avenues to pursue and then you place it

on paper. I have had students speak what they want written and with the new

programs that write as you speak, it allows you to prevent the delays you speak

of.

I would encourage you always to use all the resources available to you such as

" special services " as although you may have trouble with presentations, your

strengths may be in other areas. Good Luck on your move and hope you get meds

soon. Bennie

[Guest guest]

Hi Bennie (and Everyone),

I am already receiving support from my school's special services department,

called Adaptive Educational Services (AES). I get extended test time, and am

allowed to have a note-taker in classes (although I really don't need one,

as I take very excellent notes--at least, they are a very effective study

aid), and am allowed to audio-record lectures (which helps a lot in some

classes).

I think my main problem, though, is actually paralyzing writing

apprehension--which is a very common " condition " for lack of a better word.

I just was unaware that it is so common, or even that it existed at all. I

really thought I have a learning disability, but now I kind of am dubious

about that. My problems with executive functioning are *only* with writing;

they do not extend to other areas of my life beyond that, such as event

planning for example (at which I excel, in fact). And my problems with

writing are *only* with big papers and projects, such as in school; the

writing problems do not extend to other areas of my life, such as in

journalling and emailing (as in this email), for example.

I really think that I have this very common " condition " among students of

all ages, known as " writing apprehension " (commonly called " writers' block " ,

although I think that that term, when applied to academia, is more of an

excuse than a legitimate reason--and that is based on my being lectured for

claiming to have writers' block when I couldn't write papers throughout my

childhood - anyway).

A great article on this subject is called " *Helping Students Overcome

Writer's Block* " by Lawrence Oliver Jr. Anyone interested might Google it

and/or him, although you may need to request a copy of the article through

Interlibrary Loan services, because I know the article is copyrighted, and I

think that it is not public domain...however, you just might be able to find

it if you Google him, I'm not sure. Also check out

www.scholar.google.comfor scholarly publications.

Well, that is it for now. I also want to mention that I still do not have

Internet access set up at my new apartment yet. It will be sometime later this

week. I am at my university's library right now. And I won't be here much

longer; I am just catching up on email and other online activities that I

need to take care of.

Thanks all for reading, and thank you Bennie for your suggestions. You

always provide such helpful ones :-).

Take care all,

e.h.

Bennie wrote:

> I have worked with students with disabilities and processing delays which

> occur most often with brain injuries or by birth.