Guest guest Posted July 11, 2011 Report Share Posted July 11, 2011 offers soft, gentle, loving hugs > Kitty wrote: > By Sunday I was hurting and now I have to bail on an artists group I attend Monday mornings and I feel awful. S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2011 Report Share Posted July 11, 2011 I don't know about anyone else, but in my family, if I have to cancel because of my pain, my family leaves me alone until I'm feeling well enough to be social . . . they know that I will contact someone when I'm up to it, and then they will start calling. But if I have to cancel something because of my pain, my family assumes (rightly) that I'm not fit consumption for company and leaves me be. It's the best decision, really, because when I'm hurting that bad, I'm NOT up to being social. You're not " letting anyone down " . You have just so many spoons. Once they're used, they're gone until you build up more. Would you be mad at a family member who has diabetes if they're insulin got out of whack and they had to cancel a dinner? Of course not, because it's a DISEASE. So is chronic pain. It's a disease and we have to treat it as such. Marta > Kitty wrote: > Over and over I feel I'm letting people down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2011 Report Share Posted July 11, 2011 Marta wrote: > I don't know about anyone else, but in my family, if I have to cancel > because of my pain, my family leaves me alone until I'm feeling well enough to be social, they know that I will contact someone when I'm up to it. Ditto for me with my family and friends. After so many years, they know enough to wait until they hear from me. Lyndi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2011 Report Share Posted July 11, 2011 Unless people are " in pain " they really don't understand what it's like. You should not feel or be made to feel embarrassed by your pain, you didn't choose to be in this position. Would you be embarrassed if you had a heart condition, diabetes or some other type of illness? My guess would be no, therefore you have no reason at all to feel that way about your condition. On more occasions than I could count, I have had to cancel plans almost at the last minute due to pain. Only some of my friends and family understand, of those that don't, I just ignore them, you can't please everyone and you shouldn't have to. I heard a saying that fits pretty well at times like this: Those that matter, don't mind. Those that mind, don't matter. I'm glad you got to go out this past weekend and enjoy yourself. Donna >Kitty Wrote: >I just had to bail on a big family trip over the 4th of July. I feel so embarrassed when things like this happen that my husband has to tell people we're not going. I haven't heard from anyone since he made that call either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2011 Report Share Posted July 11, 2011 ....triple that emotion. And I've learned that if I expect someone to call, it may be cuz their crystal ball is in the shop and can't read my mind, so I always give them the benefit of the doubt and call them first. :-) Ellen-Hangin in Marta wrote: > I don't know about anyone else, but in my family, if I have to cancel > because of my pain, my family leaves me alone until I'm feeling well enough to be social, they know that I will contact someone when I'm up to it. >Lyndi wrote: Ditto for me with my family and friends. After so many years, they know enough to wait until they hear from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 11, 2011 Report Share Posted July 11, 2011 Gentle hugs and blessing to you hun. I empathize with you because if people don't live with this they do not understand it. You have to take care of you no matter if it hurts their feelings. If they ask explain why you couldn't make it. If they don't then what kind of friends are they? I hope you are better quick. Don't beat yourself up over something you can't control. ---Kitty wrote: > > I just had to bail on a big family trip over the 4th of July. I feel so embarrassed when things like this happen that my husband has to tell people we're not going. I haven't heard from anyone since he made that call either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2011 Report Share Posted July 12, 2011 >> Marta wrote: >> I don't know about anyone else, but in my family, if I have to cancel because of my pain, my family leaves me alone until I'm feeling well enough to be social, they know that I will contact someone when I'm up to it. > Lyndi wrote: > Ditto for me with my family and friends. After so many years, they know enough to wait until they hear from me. All, Same here, it is a normal reaction to want to be able to be the way you used to be : ) I will tell my ER visit story on another post Benni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.