Avoidance Behaviors: To Feel or Not To Feel?

[Guest guest]

I wanted to ask everyone a question about how they deal with their pain. I

have had chronic pain, that's been steadily getting worse over the last 14

years, and I'm only 29.

While I take regular doses of pain pills, they only really take away maybe

20-40% of the pain depending on the day, allowing me

to function more fully, but I generally practice A LOT of avoidance behaviors in

order to live my life.

For example, I watch a lot of movies and TV; for some reason I can be watching a

movie and I am out of my body and don't feel my pain as much. But sometimes the

second the show or movie is over, I'm

back in my body and all the pain comes. This can also happen when I engross

myself in my work.

I hyper-focus on things, and then when I'm in real-time, I feel the pain. Some

of my doctors think that this is not healthy, that it

is an issue, and that I need to " feel " my pain.

Honestly, I think this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I " feel "

my pain daily, constantly. I feel like anything I can do to NOT " feel " my pain

is a good thing. I tried yoga, and meditation-like treatments, and they are

like hell for me, because there is nothing to keep my mind occupied and I then

become hyper-focused on my body, on my pain.

I'd really like to hear others opinions on what's wrong with avoidance

behaviors when coping with chronic pain! I believe as long as they don't

interfere with other things in life, it should be ok.

My latest myofascial massage therapist thinks it's preventing me from " healing "

and letting go of stress my body has felt. Maybe I'm just a skeptic who has

lived with pain for too long, but this just seems like BS to me. Thoughts?

Thanks,

Crystal

[Guest guest]

Crystal,

I completely agree with you. I think that their suggestion is a bunch of BS when

it comes to physical pain. Emotional pain, that is different. " Feeling " the

pain allows one to deal with the emotions and events and thoughts that are

behind it, that trigger it, so that one can move past it and heal. But physical

pain? Are they kidding themselves?

I think that maybe what they are worried about is you are hyper-focusing to the

point of dissociating from reality. That would be unhealthy. But, like you

said, as long as what you are doing does not interfere with other aspects of

your health, such as your emotional health, then I think that avoiding thinking

about, or feeling, physical pain is not only fine, but actually quite a healthy

coping mechanism.

Maybe I'm wrong, though. I'm new to being in chronic pain, so maybe I'm

misinformed? I don't know. I am also interested in hearing others' views on

this.

As for how I deal with my pain, I kind of hyper-focus on things to the point

that I don't feel it, too but without realizing it. I know that sometimes I will

be in a lot of pain, but won't be thinking about it, because later I won't

remember having felt it. However, right now, and for the past three hours, I

have been in what has felt like constant bad pain, but I probably won't remember

being in so much pain later. I don't know, maybe I focus on the pain, but then

forget about it because otherwise the memory on top of the current pain would be

too much? I don't know. Maybe someone else has something to add to this, too.

Just my thoughts. I hope they help.

e.h.

> Crystal wrote:

> I hyper-focus on things, and then when I'm in real-time, I feel the pain. Some

of my doctors think that this is not healthy, that it

is an issue, and that I need to " feel " my pain.

[Guest guest]

Your doctor is a complete idiot!!!

Take any relief you can get!

Steve M in PA, age 21

Over a decade of Fibromyalgia, migraines, headaches from tumor, & RSD,

severe for the last three years

[Guest guest]

I agree with on this one. Who's to say you who's to say you haven't

developed your own " meditation " of sorts. I think doctors tend to disagree with

things they don't understand. I do something similar when I'm in pain... I find

something that'll occupy my brain a while so I don't focus on the pain.

Moderate pain I can do this with, but of course if it's upwards of an 8 or more

day there's no avoidance possible. As long as it's not affecting you

psychologically, I'm sure it's a great coping mechanism. Screw them and just

call it meditation from now on... That's what I do.

in TN

--- wrote:

>

> As for how I deal with my pain, I kind of hyper-focus on things to the point

that I don't feel it, too but without realizing it. I know that sometimes I will

be in a lot of pain, but won't be thinking about it, because later I won't

remember having felt it. However, right now, and for the past three hours, I

have been in what has felt like constant bad pain, but I probably won't remember

being in so much pain later. I don't know, maybe I focus on the pain, but then

forget about it because otherwise the memory on top of the current pain would be

too much? I don't know. Maybe someone else has something to add to this, too.

[Guest guest]

crystal, I have to agree with you. I find my pain is more manageable when my

mind is occupied by other things.

I vote with you. Tami

---Crystal wrote:

..

>

> While I take regular doses of pain pills, they only really take away maybe

20-40% of the pain depending on the day, allowing me

> to function more fully, but I generally practice A LOT of avoidance behaviors

in order to live my life.

>

> For example, I watch a lot of movies and TV; for some reason I can be watching

a movie and I am out of my body and don't feel my pain as much. But sometimes

the second the show or movie is over, I'm

> back in my body and all the pain comes. This can also happen when I engross

myself in my work.

>

> I hyper-focus on things, and then when I'm in real-time, I feel the pain.

Some of my doctors think that this is not healthy, that it

> is an issue, and that I need to " feel " my pain.

[Guest guest]

PM, Crystal Yauch wrote:

> I For example, I watch a lot of movies and TV; for some reason I can be

watching a movie and I am out of my body and don't feel my pain as much. But

sometimes the second the show or movie is over, I'm

> back in my body and all the pain comes. This can also happen when I engross

myself in my work.

Crystal,

Yes, The Classic Movie Channel and Detective Channel are my lifesaver.

This is your body dealing with your pain is completely natural.

My myofascial therapist would scoff at yours as mine states anything to keep the

pain from engulfing your life .

This is some of what bio feedback is, so what is the problem with

it? They give you focal points in childbirth and it is an accepted practice and

Imagery is based on some of the same techniques. I am the same. Here is a

website http:

//www.healthauthority.com/painmanagement.htm

Bennie

[Guest guest]

Hi Crystal.

I have also been in " round the clock " nerve pain since 1997. I have tried

EVERYTHING. Being able to take our mind off pain is healthy. I scrapbook and

play computer games. It sounds kind of weird but it is enough activity to get

my mind focused on something but not anything that would cause more pain.

I also love old movies, TCM channel is the best. Ever see A Tree Grows in

Brooklyn, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Enchanted Cottage - these are three of my

favorites.

Also, I make time to rest - put it into my schedule instead of waiting until I

hurt so bad I'm crying.

Grandkids are a great distraction.

Besides medication, the other thing that has helped me is a spinal cord

stimulator. This devise is a blessing.

And speaking of blessings, I have many people praying for me. My husband has

prayed me to sleep many nights.

I spent so much wasted time focusing on what I " was " and what I used to do. It

just caused depression. And, if you're a planner like me, it is very hard not to

ask, " how can I live like this the rest of my life? " . We need to make it

through today, sometimes make it through the hour, sometimes the next 10

minutes. It has taken a long time but I try to find joy in the moment and ask

God how he can use me now. And if I need an escape, well then that's what I

need. 2Corinthians 4:17-18 is my inspirational verse.

Trish

> Crystal wrote:

> I'd really like to hear others opinions on what's wrong with avoidance

behaviors when coping with chronic pain!

[Guest guest]

> Crystal wrote:

> I'd really like to hear others opinions on what's wrong with avoidance

behaviors when coping with chronic pain! I believe as long as they don't

interfere with other things in life, it should be ok.

Crystal,

If your are watching a movie and it is your intent to " avoid " dealing with the

pain (or something else), then this can have negative consequences for you or

your loved ones. For example, you may not get your dishes done, the dog walked

or the kids tucked into bed.

However, if you are watching a movie as a way of " coping " with your pain, then

it can have positive consequences. Your dishes are done, dog walked or kids

tucked into bed.

Everyone engages in avoidance and coping behaviors. Not just those of us in

chronic pain. You have nailed the right evaluation criteria: as long as it is

not interfering with other things, then it is okay.