Re: Pushing Through the Pain

[Guest guest]

> Crystal wrote:

> What does surrendering to the pain really mean? Giving up on life. Well I

can't do that. Emotionally accepting that you will always be in pain. Well I

thought I've already done that. It's almost the same idea as forgiveness. I can

say the words, and think I mean it, but my heart will still hurt, and it will

always feel the same. Surrendering and forgiveness seem to be concepts my heart

just can't get around.

Crystal,

I don't like the idea of surrendering to the pain. I agree that sounds like

giving up on life.

Instead of " surrendering " to the pain how about " accepting " the pain? It is

something in our lives right now. It is something we can work at changing.

Maybe we will or we won't be successful at changing it. But for right now, pain

is a factor that is part of my life right now.

Pain limits what I can do. Pain interferes with what I want to do. And

sometimes, pain can bring me closer to other people. For example, I'd never be

part of this Yahoo Group without it.

When I try to ignore the pain, or do stupid things, like over-scheduling myself,

my pain increases. When I have accepted that pain is a part of my life, like it

or not, then things can get easier. I don't get to do everything I want to do,

but it has helped me concentrate on the things that really matter to me.

Hope your day is getting more pain-free by the minute.

[Guest guest]

Crystal

I have personally found it beneficial to occasionally surrender to the pain

(take a day to veg when you need it, the world can wait). Pushing through

chronic pain can cause more pain. The key is to find a balance between

surrendering completely and killing yourself.

Pushing through the pain is NOT a substitute for proper treatment of pain. NEVER

allow your doctor to force you into pushing through the pain instead of

prescribing opioids.

Wishing everyone low pain.

Steve M in PA, age 21

Married with 3 year old daughter

Duragesic 300mcg/hr (q48hr)

Actiq-600 (4/day)

OxyIR 30mg (6/day)

Grade II DIPG (Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma)

Fibromyalgia

Probable RSD

[Guest guest]

Three cheers for Crystal! Well done you, you are not alone with those feelings.

Ken

Crystal wrote:

Internalizing the pain. PUSHING THROUGH IT. Then it hit me. I can't

remember a time when I haven't pushed through the pain. Sometimes it can be so

subconscious. I don't even know that's what I do because I've done it so long.

What are my other choices? Make a face in pain, fall down writhing in pain on

the floor. Well I don't have time for that. I have to get to work! What is it

like to not be in pain. What is it like to NOT have to push through the pain?

[Guest guest]

I agree with taking a step back and allowing the pain to come and go,

especially on a day off. Instead of focusing on " getting ahead " like I used to

do. For me, it is better to focus on finding little ways to find comfort in

alternative treatments, like resting with a moist heating pad with feet propped

up, instead of pushing through another load of folding laundry. It can wait

until the foot spasms stop.

That's easier said than done when you can't work any more, but " pushing through

it " was all I had when my pain was small enough to keep pushing. It was once

like a small child, who could make life difficult, but the latest tantrum was

soon forgotten as soon as the child was in somebody else's hands.

Over the years the child grew, and the tantrums were replaced by

trade-offs of chores and rewards, versus rebellion and consequences.

Today it is as tall as me, and I am no longer able to control it by

myself, so I have to receive whatever help is available, and make

compromises along my way through new paths in this short life.

It's like an improvised education plan (I E P) for physically

handicapped children. The lesson assignments and goals are the same as

for other kids, but there is an adaptation for how the handicapped child attains

the same goal.

Everybody has to live with some amount of pain or sadness or discomfort in this

life. We just have bigger portions of it and need to include different tools in

order to get from point A to point B, and all the way to Z. Right?

Bonnie from SC

[Guest guest]

I am hoping as more time passes and my work is further along with my

counselor that I can reaccept my pain, build a new normal for me, and get to

living. I know I need more than a medicine to work that will replace the

neurontin that stopped helping.

Patience runs low and depression becomes deep, but there is the chance for more

and as long as I remind myself of this even when I do not truly believe it all

the time it allows me to keep going. One day things will click. All of us need

reminders of such at one time or another. I know I do.

Christy

[Guest guest]

Well said all you guys! Your messages really inspire me to get through one more

day. As a single mom with 2 kids in college, I

know I have to work 2 more years. Quitting is just not an option.

I will fight the pain each morning even though some days I come home almost in

tears from the pain I am in. I cannot take a higher dose of opioid medication

and work. My doctor has offered them to me but I know my limits.

I also refuse to have any more procedures that cause me pain without promising

me relief. I have endured those enough, too.

Right now I am just trying to survive and I tell myself there is a better life

for me in the not too soon future as I think retirement will ease my stress

which I know will help with pain relief and if not, then maybe I will say yes to

more opioid medication. I hope everyone has a good Friday and great weekend.

Becky

[Guest guest]

Thank you everyone for the inspirational words! It helps so much to know I am

not the only one dealing with these emotions, thoughts, realizations, and

struggles.

At the same time, it both saddens me and give me solace that others have it to

much worse off. It solaces me in that I am so lucky that I can still push

through the pain, and do many of the things that bring me joy - like working

with animals. It saddens me thinking about how much more many of you have to

deal with. More and more I believe doctors know less and less, but that's a

topic for another posting

Cheers!

-Crystal

[Guest guest]

I am trying to soften around the pain - not react with tension or anxiety and

not get into hopeless internal dialog. I am new to this method and have much to

learn

Rik

> Crystal wrote:

> What does surrendering to the pain really mean? Giving up on life. Well I

can't do that. Emotionally accepting that you will always be in pain. Well I

thought I've already done that. It's almost the same idea as forgiveness. I can

say the words, and think I mean it, but my heart will still hurt, and it will

always feel the same. Surrendering and forgiveness seem to be concepts my heart

just can't get around.

[Guest guest]

Crystal Yauch wrote:

> This morning as I'm getting ready for work I'm brushing my hair,

> putting moisturizer on my face, brushing my teeth and I'm biting the bullet.

Internalizing the pain. PUSHING THROUGH IT. Then it hit me. I can't remember

a time when I haven't pushed through the pain.

Crystal,

Your thoughts are so logical to me, I admire you so much. There have been

times, I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up in no pain. I remember going

for an exam they gave me Versed and I actually had no pain for two hours but I

can't stay on that all my life.

I look at my fur-kids that were rescues and their happiness and their love for

me, they don't say " Oh you are not in pain, but lay by me when I hurt and we

snuggle and love on each other " It is so great. They also know that I will

take care of them and have actually laid by my one doggy when she had tummy ache

all night.

Surrendering to pain, with some techniques means as if in La manse birth

techniques, relaxing, deep breathes, is a form of surrendering and as in

biofeedback the machine I was hooked up to, I could see my blood pressure go

down, feel my muscles relax.

The word surrender is used as far as focalizing at your big toe imagine going up

your leg, to your hip etc. So I think surrender doesn't mean giving up. I

didn't give up on steam cleaning a carpet and lifting two weeks ago and actually

set myself back to more pain. One must know your limitation to prevent more

pain or damage, also.

If it helps you to be better, go for it. Fighting chronic pain is an expression

which is used, surrender is a word.

Acceptance has allowed me to protect what function I do have left. Just my

experience. Bennie

[Guest guest]

That's a really cool way to look at things, Bennie. I remember feeling the

exact same way when I was on anesthesia for a stomach procedure. Ahhh. No pain.

Just reading your words helped me realize that I am lying here, all tensed up.

I miss my fur kids. I've had to put them in foster care when I had to leave my

home near Nashville to move in my dad's house and his wife's. I'm close to

losing my long term disability and won't have my ssdi hearing until jan/feb.

Ellen-Hangin in

> Bennie wrote:

> The word surrender is used as far as focalizing at your big toe imagine going

up your leg, to your hip etc. So I think surrender doesn't mean giving up. I

didn't give up on steam cleaning a carpet and lifting two weeks ago and actually

set myself back to more pain. One must know your limitation to prevent more

pain or damage, also.