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I find it Very hard to leave the house since I found out I was filmed by a

private investigator for private insurance. Not paranoid, just feel

violated. I put on 50 pounds in a year. Not good.

Ellen-Hangin in

>Ken wrote:

>I agree it is hard, very hard.

>My partner left all because of me not being able to recognize and accept

that this time I just could not handle the pain.

>I was angry at myself, angry at the doctors for not helping enough and just

generally angry at the world as a whole. Anyone, even a long term partner

can only put up with that daily anger for so long and then they break. It's

not until you lose it that you realize what you had.

>After she had gone, it was such a jolt to my system that only then did I see

what I had become because of the anger at the pain etc. It wasn't pretty.

>Now I find it almost impossible to leave the house more than once a week if

I am lucky never mind going to work etc. So I have much too much time to

myself and my own thoughts.

>Reading the posts on here has helped though and sometimes, it makes me feel

that I am such a wuss. Maybe that is what age has done to me! lol.

Still, it helps to know we are not alone and for me, that not everyone was

as daft about accepting the pain as I was. Helps me to see and make sense of

what is going on.

>Christy wrote:

Hi Bennie,

I have often thought of asking but never have until now. How do we juggle

the fact we are in pain constantly with marriage? How do we manage to keep

it going with pain being such a big focus?

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Snap Ellen. I put on 50 pounds in year as well! Damn investigators : )

Ken.

Ellen wrote:

I find it Very hard to leave the house since I found out I was filmed by a

private investigator for private insurance. Not paranoid, just feel

violated. I put on 50 pounds in a year. Not good.

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All,

I was told by a fellow previous member they check your Facebook accounts and

pictures to see what you can and cannot do. My friend from years ago came and

visited me and took pictures of us going to see the bats under a bridge (we live

in Austin) and I had to sit most of the time, get up when I could, and my

husband completed her tour when I was in the bed after three days of trying to

stay on my feet.

She likes to contact on Facebook but I really don't like it and

end up with people I don't even know posting and I had my account

hacked by one of the " Truth about you games " so I blocked all the applications

and told the friends requesting coins, gifts, for their games I wasn't being

rude. I also researched it and the internet stated that particular game and

others do hack your account.

This is one of the reasons I kept documentation through my pain dairies,

functional assessments, and the Social Security questions that stated optional,

I got anyway.

Letters from my family, co-workers, and friends supplemented how I had changed

and I had pictures of how I looked two years before the accident and then

pictures afterwards and it is quite apparent.

I was lucky to have Doctors that said, " Just tell us when Bennie you can't do it

anymore and we will type and sign paperwork " . You have to use your anger to

advocate for yourself which is hard while you are in uncontrolled pain.

I had not worked long enough for retirement and since I had to leave my job

abruptly, I took out a lump sum I had. Well, my School System did not tell me

that the Long Term Disability would take it back and so I have that amount

subtracted out of my payment.

In one year, when I turn sixty, I get my military reserve pay, they do not

deduct that so that was good to know. I will never understand the system.

Bennie

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What was the PI doing? Watching your every move? Was this for SSD? Always good

to know what is going on.

in CA

>Ellen wrote:

I find it Very hard to leave the house since I found out I was filmed by a

private investigator for private insurance. Not paranoid, just feel violated. I

put on 50 pounds in a year. Not good.

Ellen wrote:

I find it Very hard to leave the house since I found out I was filmed by a

private investigator for private insurance. Not paranoid, just feel

violated. I put on 50 pounds in a year. Not good.

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