Re: Ways to help cope

[Guest guest]

Namaste wrote:

> a,

> I would like to add to Kaylene's response: After 30+ years of chronic pain, I

have learned that the emotional/spiritual/mental aspects cannot be emphasized

enough when coping with pain. Pain medication and other physical treatments

can only do so much. I've discovered that, surrounding myself with people who

have positive energy and spending time in nature helps immensely - I too, have

little money to spend on alternative treatments, but feeding my soul

periodically through exercise (yoga/swimming/walking, massage is absolutely

NECESSARY! to my survival.

> A pastor at a church, if you are in to that, can be very helpful - a support

group - anything like that, is at a nominal cost or even free. Try to take

advantage of these kinds of resources if you can. There are all types of

churches available for any type of faith - including ethical/humanist churches

that include every type of faith imaginable, including atheists and agnostics.

It just takes a little looking. Even a book group can be therapeutic.

All,

Thank you for sharing this! Bernie Segal who survived Cancer first thing he

said was you are in a fight for your life and one of the first things to get rid

of is toxic relationships. My husband and son banter when they are working on

problems but I cannot stand arguing. I was raised in a house hold of criticism

and I can just feel myself withdrawing when I hear it.

I tend to problem solve and emotions are hard to control sometimes when you are

in pain. I just talked to my husband tonight about this as that he and my son

walk away buddy buddy, and I am in increased pain. I also do animal rescue via

laptop but know that I effected

by relationships. I feel it is my responsibility for taking care of others but

it does not take care of me.

There are so many websites that can uplift you and TV programs that are

uplifting. I had a person tell me that when you are doing something for someone

else, you cannot be depressed.

The example was an elderly aunt that came to live with them that was always

happy although she was housebound. It seems she wrote letters of encouragement

and had pen pals from all over the world.

I tend not to communicate when I feel bad and I have one friend who I used to

manage her as she was a medical assistant for a lady i had power of attorney,

that will call me and say " You are sick " " I know it " . She actually showed up at

my house and started cleaning and I got up and started washing clothes.

My husband is commuting more now and he is my only communication to the adult

world besides this group. I have said many times this group is a lifesaver and I

truly mean it. I don't feel good sitting so church went by the wayside but I try

to read positive information. So the more I post, you guys know the more I am

hurting as this is my lifeline.

Nature also brings me back to reality. My dogs and watching birds and other

animals make me feel connected to the universe.

We assist my son but he is a hardship and I look forward to the day he is gone

but he gives me purpose to go on so I know that there is a reason for his being

here.

It is hard overcoming depression with financial hardships and pain but I try to

be thankful. I agree that self talk is one of the most important tools for

survival.

Training in Reality Therapy helped me to come back to reality and I try to step

back and look at things in a different light. Your post came at a good time and

reminded me of the importance of caring for ones mental health. I enjoy sites

like Random Acts of Kindness and others. I recently read this quote " The way to

maintain one's happiness is to pass it on " .

Thank you for sharing, it helped me a lot.

Bennie