OT- Upcoming Birthday

[Guest guest]

I turn 22 on October 21 (Friday). My pain is also out of control. This

will be the worst birthday, BY FAR, and I spent my seventeenth birthday in an

emergency foster-care shelter. It was the first and worst of the two shelters.

It was cold, my parents had legally abandoned me, I was suicidal, the food was

worse than prison food, the rooms were cold and moist, we were not allowed to

wear real shoes.

I found out I wasn't going back to my high school, and I found out my time in

foster-care was being extended (I was told I would be done by November, I found

out it would be at least 3-6 months). We called the " shoes " prison shoes and

they fell apart ALL THE TIME, the staff always told us we were exaggerating. One

day, we were watching a documentary in the " school " about a prison in the south.

The shoes were identical.

My seventeenth birthday was also the date of my Junior Homecoming, my

wife (then fiance) had to go alone. I was supposed to be getting a

home pass for that day and they told me at the last minute that I was

not going anywhere.

I was routinely denied medically necessary medications, such as my

Prilosec (they made me take Prevacid SlouTab, AcipHex, and Protonix.

None of which worked for me). Then, they limited me to ONE regular

strength Tums three times a day. My dad had to sneak in Rolaids Soft

Chews, but they barely helped.

My point is that September through November 2006 was an extremely dark

time in my life. December 2006 through February 2007 wasn't much

better. February 2007 through July 26, 2007 was a very bad foster

home. August 2007 (about a week or two into August) through October

19, 2007 were not too bad, but still foster-care. It sucked being in

foster-care, but I loved Jeff and Esther (my foster parents; still

love them). I still keep in contact. My foster dad's health has been

declining over the past year or two. His memory is going.

After all of that, my 22nd birthday is still going to be worse than my

17th birthday and the months following. I can't believe that I still

don't have a pump, or even a doctor, or even a consultation. My pain

management doctor recommended that my PCP prescribe methadone.

Unfortunately, my PCP's staff has not responded to my requests for a

script (they refuse to even acknowledge my voicemails or faxes).

Not only it this going to be a horrible birthday, but I'm going to

have to pretend I'm not being tortured from inside my own CNS by a pea

sized tumor. I can't imagine Christmas without major pain relief. The

pump would solve it, but methadone might help.

I know a birthday are just another day, but because they are supposed

to be happy, I get really depressed when they end up sucking.

Thanks for listening (reading)

Steve M in PA, age 21 (until Friday)

" I know pain. You think you can handle it and one day you can't. And

when that happens, you either find reason to go on, or you don't. "

-House MD