Guest guest Posted November 14, 2011 Report Share Posted November 14, 2011 Hi everyone, I only ever read posts on here, as I don't have the energy to write anything, but iIve been reading for many years now so I'm a long time lurker. I just really need to vent. I'm in a private rented flat/apartment. I am not on disability benefits just income support though I should have been on disability the last 13 years. I just wasn't well enough to fight for it. The owner of the property is selling it which means I can't really relax because if someone buys it, I will have to move out. That problem is fixable, or so I thought. In January housing benefits are being cut drastically. I currently receive the rate for a one bedroom flat for a single person. In January it is being reduced to the rate of a room in shared accomodation, which only ever applied to single people under the age of 25 before. Come January that age is being increased to 35 and I'm only 33. I'll be 34 in a few months. So the maximum amount of rent I'll receive is £45 a week. ($290USD per month) The amount that the money will be reduced to isn't even enough to live in a tent in a campsite and if you live in a campsite you don't qualify for benefit anyway. I have been looking for somewhere to move to this week as someone may be buying my flat quite soon only to discover that 98% of private landlords are no longer accepting people on housing benefit knowing about the changes that will be taking place in January. Under no circumstances could I live in shared accomodation. I have severe daily migraines, a very large hole in heart waiting for open heart surgery, raynaud's, I had cervical cancer last year, I have severe M.E. (13 years) and recently (yesterday) tested positive for the retrovirus XMRV. I can't crawl to the kitchen and back in a shared house, I can't lie paralysed on the bathroom floor for hours on end in a shared house with new people moving in and out all the time. In no way is that a safe environment! its hard enough having to live like this in the privacy of my own home. I'm just reaching one of those points where I can't cope with any more piled on me once more. I usually go through this once or twice a year where it all gets too much but every time it happens everything is always so much worse each time it happens. I struggle to keep living on a daily basis inside my own home, I literally don't know how many days I can stay alive if I become homeless in January (or sooner if my home sells before then) I'm sitting here trying to think of a way to stay alive and I can't think of a solution. The only thing I can actively do is apply for disability once again but with all the drastic cuts, if i didn't get it before it looks unlikely that i'll get it this time; apart from that, i have no idea what else I can do. I'm waiting for Citizens advice bureau to get back in touch with me to help me fill in the forms. I keep thinking of all the days I'm bed ridden and paralysed, wondering how that will pan out if i'm actually homeless and outdoors and freezing and starving. Sitting there paralysed while hiding in a tree?? too much for my shrivelled brain to absorb. sorry for the rant everyone, love, Rae xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 14, 2011 Report Share Posted November 14, 2011 Hello Rae - Never apologize for venting here - that's part of the reason for being in a support group! We're here to give emotional support, so rant away. I will say, however, that you're not doing yourself any good physically or mentally by catastrophizing the worst that might happen. I certainly hope it doesn't ever get that bad for you, but it doesn't help right now to constantly imagine how bad it MIGHT get. It's perfectly understandable in the circumstances, but I'm sure you recognize that it's not productive. And it can actually hurt by cycling you into depression, making you less able to cope and find solutions, and causing stress your body can't handle right now. There's stress enough when bad things happen - don't add to it by creating stress about things that haven't happened yet. I know it's easier said than done, but it would be helpful if you can find a way to control that catastrophic self-talk. Every time you find yourself imagining the worst, just tell yourself " not now, I refuse to even think about it " and find another more positive thought to distract yourself with, even if it's something inane like " wow, this blanket is really really soft - I love how it feels against my skin.... " Find things to do that you enjoy to distract you - even if it's watching the leaves blow in the wind outside your window. It takes practice, but once you get into the habit of saying " no " to those catastrophic imaginings, it does get easier and you'll find you're better able to think about solutions instead. Meanwhile, take all that energy that you're putting into imagining the worst right now and instead channel it toward finding a solution. I don't know the social services in your part of the world, but start making calls and searching the internet and exhausting every avenue - churches, government agencies, social service agencies, whatever you can think of, no matter how far-fetched. Don't give up calling every rental you can find - you might get 100 " no's " but all you need is one " yes " . And even if you get a no from the person you're talking to, you never whether they might know somebody who could help - if they say no, don't forget to ask if they know someone else you can call! And although I don't know your situation, perhaps a roommate wouldn't be as bad as you have imagined as well? Might it be possible to find the RIGHT roommate, who not only would respect your needs for quiet and space, but who might also even help by providing some companionship and maybe even a helping hand now and then? Perhaps you could be of help to each other, particularly if you have a roommate who has similar health issues. I realize this may all sound a bit " Pollyanna-ish, " but I am trying to counter some of the panic I hear in your message with a little bit of hope and positivity. Sometimes we close off options too quickly when we're panicked and when we're focusing only on what could go wrong. My thoughts are with you and I hope you'll be able to find a solution sooner rather than later. Keep posting and let us know what you find out. Cheryl in AZ Moderator --- " " wrote: > >> The owner of the property is selling it which means I can't really relax because if someone buys it, I will have to move out. That problem is fixable, or so I thought. > > In January housing benefits are being cut drastically. I currently receive the rate for a one bedroom flat for a single person. In January it is being reduced to the rate of a room in shared accomodation, > I keep thinking of all the days I'm bed ridden and paralysed, wondering how that will pan out if i'm actually homeless and outdoors and freezing and starving. Sitting there paralysed while hiding in a tree?? too much for my shrivelled brain to absorb. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2011 Report Share Posted November 17, 2011 Cheryl wrote to Rae: > Meanwhile, take all that energy that you're putting into imagining the worst right now and instead channel it toward finding a solution. I don't know the social services in your part of the world, but start making calls and searching the internet and exhausting every avenue - churches, government agencies, social service agencies, whatever you can think of, no matter how far-fetched. Don't give up calling every rental you can find - you might get 100 " no's " but all you need is one " yes " . And even if you get a no from the person you're talking to, you never whether they might know somebody who could help - if they say no, don't forget to ask if they know someone else you can call! > > And although I don't know your situation, perhaps a roommate wouldn't be as bad as you have imagined as well? Might it be possible to find the RIGHT roommate, who not only would respect your needs for quiet and space, but who might also even help by providing some companionship and maybe even a helping hand now and then? Perhaps you could be of help to each other, particularly if you have a roommate who has similar health issues. > > I realize this may all sound a bit " Pollyanna-ish, " but I am trying to counter some of the panic I hear in your message with a little bit of hope and positivity. Sometimes we close off options too quickly when we're panicked and when we're focusing only on what could go wrong. > > My thoughts are with you and I hope you'll be able to find a solution sooner rather than later. Keep posting and let us know what you find out. Cheryl in AZ Moderator Cheryl is right use those instincts to fight. This past week I was wanting to die as I was worth more dead than alive and could pay off the son's students loan, husband's stuff and they wouldn't have to deal with me. I know that is my cycle of depression so back on anti- depressants I go. I use this acronym: SOS -Seek Out Solutions so I stay on target. There are halfway houses that are worthwhile and are able to be found. The point is to get others besides you in your state working to help you. 211 is a National Line that you can call that can help you ill agencies in your area and I have personally used it and got my niece aide when she became disabled and lost her job. If you are disabled, the SSI office has a list of free advisers and mediators and the phone number is on your initial appeal. You say you are not on disability but on SSi (income) I get that because of disability but not Medicaid. Please get one of the mediators who are free at the Social Security office to assist you in finding housing and applying for increased support. I have worked with friends here in Texas to get this and a case manager for them. The Health and Human Resource Office will assist you. Just type in your stat and then Health and Human Resources. I will be happy to help all I can if I knew the specifics of your SSI if you do ot find ount and your benefit category or state you live in. I found this site and it tells how to fight back and is tenant adviser for the state of Texas but maybe your state has one also. http://texastenant.org/ Bennie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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