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Surviving 2012

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Hi everyone,

I only ever read posts on here, as I don't have the energy to write anything,

but iIve been reading for many years now so I'm a long time lurker.

I just really need to vent. I'm in a private rented flat/apartment. I am not on

disability benefits just income support though I should have been on disability

the last 13 years. I just wasn't well enough to fight for it.

The owner of the property is selling it which means I can't really relax because

if someone buys it, I will have to move out. That problem is fixable, or so I

thought.

In January housing benefits are being cut drastically. I currently receive the

rate for a one bedroom flat for a single person. In January it is being reduced

to the rate of a room in shared accomodation, which only ever applied to single

people under the age of 25 before. Come January that age is being increased to

35 and I'm only 33. I'll be 34 in a few months. So the maximum amount of rent

I'll receive is £45 a week. ($290USD per month)

The amount that the money will be reduced to isn't even enough to live in a tent

in a campsite and if you live in a campsite you don't qualify for benefit

anyway.

I have been looking for somewhere to move to this week as someone may be buying

my flat quite soon only to discover that 98% of private landlords are no longer

accepting people on housing benefit knowing about the changes that will be

taking place in January.

Under no circumstances could I live in shared accomodation. I have severe daily

migraines, a very large hole in heart waiting for open heart surgery, raynaud's,

I had cervical cancer last year, I have severe M.E. (13 years) and recently

(yesterday) tested positive for the retrovirus XMRV.

I can't crawl to the kitchen and back in a shared house, I can't lie paralysed

on the bathroom floor for hours on end in a shared house with new people moving

in and out all the time. In no way is that a safe environment! its hard enough

having to live like this in the privacy of my own home.

I'm just reaching one of those points where I can't cope with any more piled on

me once more. I usually go through this once or twice a year where it all gets

too much but every time it happens everything is always so much worse each time

it happens.

I struggle to keep living on a daily basis inside my own home, I literally don't

know how many days I can stay alive if I become homeless in January (or sooner

if my home sells before then)

I'm sitting here trying to think of a way to stay alive and I can't think of a

solution.

The only thing I can actively do is apply for disability once again but with all

the drastic cuts, if i didn't get it before it looks unlikely that i'll get it

this time; apart from that, i have no idea what else I can do. I'm waiting for

Citizens advice bureau to get back in touch with me to help me fill in the

forms.

I keep thinking of all the days I'm bed ridden and paralysed, wondering how that

will pan out if i'm actually homeless and outdoors and freezing and starving.

Sitting there paralysed while hiding in a tree?? too much for my shrivelled

brain to absorb.

sorry for the rant everyone,

love,

Rae xxx

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Hello Rae -

Never apologize for venting here - that's part of the reason for being in a

support group! We're here to give emotional support, so rant away.

I will say, however, that you're not doing yourself any good physically or

mentally by catastrophizing the worst that might happen. I certainly hope it

doesn't ever get that bad for you, but it doesn't help right now to constantly

imagine how bad it MIGHT get. It's perfectly understandable in the

circumstances, but I'm sure you recognize that it's not productive. And it can

actually hurt by cycling you into depression, making you less able to cope and

find solutions, and causing stress your body can't handle right now. There's

stress enough when bad things happen - don't add to it by creating stress about

things that haven't happened yet.

I know it's easier said than done, but it would be helpful if you can find a way

to control that catastrophic self-talk. Every time you find yourself imagining

the worst, just tell yourself " not now, I refuse to even think about it " and

find another more positive thought to distract yourself with, even if it's

something inane like " wow, this blanket is really really soft - I love how it

feels against my skin.... " Find things to do that you enjoy to distract you -

even if it's watching the leaves blow in the wind outside your window. It takes

practice, but once you get into the habit of saying " no " to those catastrophic

imaginings, it does get easier and you'll find you're better able to think about

solutions instead.

Meanwhile, take all that energy that you're putting into imagining the worst

right now and instead channel it toward finding a solution. I don't know the

social services in your part of the world, but start making calls and searching

the internet and exhausting every avenue - churches, government agencies, social

service agencies, whatever you can think of, no matter how far-fetched. Don't

give up calling every rental you can find - you might get 100 " no's " but all you

need is one " yes " . And even if you get a no from the person you're talking to,

you never whether they might know somebody who could help - if they say no,

don't forget to ask if they know someone else you can call!

And although I don't know your situation, perhaps a roommate wouldn't be as bad

as you have imagined as well? Might it be possible to find the RIGHT roommate,

who not only would respect your needs for quiet and space, but who might also

even help by providing some companionship and maybe even a helping hand now and

then? Perhaps you could be of help to each other, particularly if you have a

roommate who has similar health issues.

I realize this may all sound a bit " Pollyanna-ish, " but I am trying to counter

some of the panic I hear in your message with a little bit of hope and

positivity. Sometimes we close off options too quickly when we're panicked and

when we're focusing only on what could go wrong.

My thoughts are with you and I hope you'll be able to find a solution sooner

rather than later. Keep posting and let us know what you find out.

Cheryl in AZ

Moderator

--- " " wrote:

>

>> The owner of the property is selling it which means I can't really relax

because if someone buys it, I will have to move out. That problem is fixable, or

so I thought.

>

> In January housing benefits are being cut drastically. I currently receive the

rate for a one bedroom flat for a single person. In January it is being reduced

to the rate of a room in shared accomodation,

> I keep thinking of all the days I'm bed ridden and paralysed, wondering how

that will pan out if i'm actually homeless and outdoors and freezing and

starving. Sitting there paralysed while hiding in a tree?? too much for my

shrivelled brain to absorb.

>

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Cheryl wrote to Rae:

> Meanwhile, take all that energy that you're putting into imagining the worst

right now and instead channel it toward finding a solution. I don't know the

social services in your part of the world, but start making calls and searching

the internet and exhausting every avenue - churches, government agencies, social

service agencies, whatever you can think of, no matter how far-fetched. Don't

give up calling every rental you can find - you might get 100 " no's " but all you

need is one " yes " . And even if you get a no from the person you're talking to,

you never whether they might know somebody who could help - if they say no,

don't forget to ask if they know someone else you can call!

>

> And although I don't know your situation, perhaps a roommate wouldn't be as

bad as you have imagined as well? Might it be possible to find the RIGHT

roommate, who not only would respect your needs for quiet and space, but who

might also even help by providing some companionship and maybe even a helping

hand now and then? Perhaps you could be of help to each other, particularly if

you have a roommate who has similar health issues.

>

> I realize this may all sound a bit " Pollyanna-ish, " but I am trying to counter

some of the panic I hear in your message with a little bit of hope and

positivity. Sometimes we close off options too quickly when we're panicked and

when we're focusing only on what could go wrong.

>

> My thoughts are with you and I hope you'll be able to find a solution sooner

rather than later. Keep posting and let us know what you find out.

Cheryl in AZ

Moderator

Cheryl is right use those instincts to fight. This past week I was wanting to

die as I was worth more dead than alive and could pay off the son's students

loan, husband's stuff and they wouldn't have to deal with me. I know that is my

cycle of depression so back on

anti- depressants I go.

I use this acronym: SOS -Seek Out Solutions so I stay on target. There are

halfway houses that are worthwhile and are able to be found. The point is to get

others besides you in your state working to help you. 211 is a National Line

that you can call that can help you ill agencies in your area and I have

personally used it and got my niece aide when she became disabled and lost her

job.

If you are disabled, the SSI office has a list of free advisers and mediators

and the phone number is on your initial appeal. You say you are not on

disability but on SSi (income) I get that because of disability but not

Medicaid. Please get one of the mediators who are free at the Social Security

office to assist you in finding housing and applying for increased support.

I have worked with friends here in Texas to get this and a case manager for

them. The Health and Human Resource Office will assist you. Just type in your

stat and then Health and Human Resources. I will be happy to help all I can if I

knew the specifics of your SSI if you do ot find ount and your benefit category

or state you live in.

I found this site and it tells how to fight back and is tenant adviser for the

state of Texas but maybe your state has one also. http://texastenant.org/

Bennie

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