, i understand what you are going through

May 19, 2011

Hey there,

My name is and i used to be very active here, now i just read everyday.

Your post took me back to when i 1st started to have pain. I was so lost,

confused, alone. The Dr's were telling me " the pain is all in your head, if you

just stop crying and work with the PT/Chiro you will feel better " At 1st i

believed them, after a while i was MAD! The pain was NOT in my head it was REAL!

I was only 38yrs working a good job and finishing paralegal school, on my way to

law school and then i was injured at work! Going through the work comp system

was h*ll they treat you like you are faking it, just to be off work and get that

little bit of $$$ they give you.

I went from having a credit score of 825 to not being able to pay my bills and

finally filing a bankruptcy. I had a teenage daughter to support. I have to say

my family and close friends were very supportive. My daughter was raised at a

young age to be independent, she was/is so awesome!

I remember (while my dd was at school) crying and screaming " WHY ME? " What did i

do that was so bad that i deserved this?? My Auntie told me one day " why not

you? "

I finally went to a " real " Dr who knew about chronic pain, he ordered a

Discogram and discovered i had 3 torn disks in my neck and they would/will

continue to tear (he was right i now have 4 torn disks) The Neuro Surgeon told

me i would never be able to have surgery in my neck (i didn't want it anyway) I

was finally validated, the pain was NOT all in my head! I went to the pan Dr and

we tried many pain meds until we found the one that works for me. I still have

pain every single day! Throw in the depression " monster " and that is my life

today. I do try to get out and about at times, i try to go to water aerobics 3

times per week, i just try to have some kind of life, not anything like my " old "

life, but the best life i can have NOW. My friends/family are great they

understand when i have to cancel plans at the last minute due to pain or just

plain being tired.

I'm now 44yrs, its been a long, tiring process but i made it. I went from

working, going to school to SSDI/long term disability/early retirement with full

benefits. I wish i would have had someone to talk to around me that also had

pain, someone who knew what i was going through, to guide me. I found this group

and a few others, people who understand exactly what i'm going through. I cried

with relief.

We all understand what you are going through, we get it. Stick around. Sometimes

all you can do is read, other times you may feel like posting, other times you

may read a post (like i did yours) and it all just " clicks " that person is

telling your story.

I'm on the computer daily so feel free to contact me anytime.

Recommended Posts