Re: Re: Hello I am new/Melani

[Guest guest]

Lyndi and Ben,

Thank you for the thoughtful responses. Different views and approaches for

me to think about.

Lyndi, as I was reading your message I have to say that I experienced more

anger and strong negative feelings. The phrase wishful thinking really

bothered me, because I realized it was true. In some ways I want to hang on to

this desire that they acknowledge my difficulties and possible outcome. But, you

are right. I cannot make them feel or say these things.

And I need to expend my energy on things that can actually happen in my life,

that I can do.

As far as them still loving me, I don't feel as confident in that as I used

to. I feel like a burden actually. How do you get used to being 'confined'

in different ways? I know I should be grateful for what I have and I

believe I am. Perhaps I'm just more disappointed in myself than anything.

I'm no longer the 'hard worker' in the family. I feel guilty that I am not

as good of a parent to my son (he has autism) now. Sorry if this is whining,

(that is probably also something I need to address.)

I am going to try to avoid talking about illness or pain, and see how things

go. I need to do something to get beyond this anger and sadness.

Thanks again,

Melani

Lyndi wrote:

> I don't think you are being selfish, but you are using wishful thinking.

> The only person we have any control over is ourselves. You can't will

> people to be what we want or to say what we want.