pushng myself hasn't really pretending I was normal

[Guest guest]

So, I spent 2 days out Christmas shopping last week. Went out to eat and readied

the house for guests. Generally, I was trying to pretend my life was normal

again. It has caused the WORST pain flare that I can not get under control.

Last night I tried to go to bed, got up cause of the pain, finally went back to

bed with my heating pad and my husband (who helps far more than any meds). This

morning I crawled our of bed and headed out to my stepsister's for breakfast.

My husband understands and automatically carries the boxes of gifts. Then, when

breakfast is being served my family understands and doesn't expect me to help.

My Dad automatically takes my plate when I'm done because he knows how bad the

pain is. When it's time to open gifts it's just assumed that my niece will hand

them out 'cause it would hurt me too much. I appreciate this. I'm crying as I

write this because it's so great how they understand. BUT, I don't want it to be

like this. It make me feel so helpless.

 

Then we go home and my husband is helping me with the guests. I made lasagnas

last night, put them in to cook before company got there and tidied a bit. Then

when my in-laws are here all I can think is they are judging me for letting my

husband hand out the drinks, check on the lasagna, etc. It hurts me EVERY time I

stand up, so I can't pop up a hundred times in 3 hours. I just can't. And I know

when my mother-in-law went home she surely had something to say about it. She

once said to me she " couldn't function on 1 oxycodone, never mind 7 " and I had

to say I can't function without them.

 

OK, crying is under control. Thanks for listening everyone!

Donna

[Guest guest]

Donna stop beating yourself up. Your MIL couldn't take one HOUR of the

pain you live with, much less what you did to your body by trying to

do what you think you should be doing.

As a mother in law myself, I can tell you there are times I don't

understand my daughters in love but since I decided before any of our

sons married that I'd love their wives, no questions asked, in time

they became as important to me as our sons.

So that is your MIL's loss, a loving,caring daughter. I'd love to have

you as mine but too bad you're already spoken for. Now if anything

happens to your current husband....(joking though I would be honored and happy

to have you as ours)

So stop hitting yourself over the head over this. Your husband knows

you and your family knows you and all of us love you. Her loss. OK?

Now get away from the computer and rest.

You still here? Girl - rest. Now. No debate. Love you and Merry

Christmas (day late),

Jeanne B in GA

> So, I spent 2 days out Christmas shopping last week. Went out to eat and

> readied the house for guests. Generally, I was trying to pretend my life was

> normal again. It has caused the WORST pain flare that I can not get under

> control.

>

[Guest guest]

(((Donna)))

Gentle hugs to you. Your husband is like most I know for women who aren't in

pain.

Your mother-in-law sounds like a peach. She probably would feel loop de loops

on one cause she's not in pain!!! Others opinions just can't

matter. Your husband sounds like a dear man. Maybe mil did something

right.

When I look back to Christmas' past I have no memory of who served

what. Can't remember what I gave or what I got. Just remember smiling

faces of my loved ones.

Im alone now and haven't celebrated in a number of years. I don't miss the

fretting and shopping. None of us can take it. I care about the young ones,

not the has beens.

Ellen

" Donna " wrote:

> So, I spent 2 days out Christmas shopping last week. Went out to eat and

> readied the house for guests. Generally, I was trying to pretend my life

> was normal again. It has caused the WORST pain flare that I can not get

> under control.

[Guest guest]

Donna

I'd like to start out by reminding you that you are not alone. I struggled

greatly with balancing pain and not getting out of bed and I suspect that most

of us struggled with the holidays. I just recently woke up after my post-holiday

crash (I also over did it).

I gave up a long time ago on feeling normal and I am lucky that I too have

supportive family members, for the most part. I'm sorry that your mother in law

was so rude, NO ONE deserves that.

My wife also understands that I can't do some things anymore, but that can be

frustrating on its own. Some days, I feel like nothing is expected of me

anymore.

You're not alone.

Steve M in PA, age 22

" I know pain. You think you can handle it and one day you can't. And when that

happens, you either find reason to go on, or you don't. " -House MD

So, I spent 2 days out Christmas shopping last week. Went out to eat and readied

the house for guests. Generally, I was trying to pretend my life was normal

again. It has caused the WORST pain flare that I can not get under control.