SSDI hearing for Ellen DETAILED

[Guest guest]

I had my SSDI hearing yesterday. It's taken me 2 days to crank out this

email. It's an important one.

Right off the bat, I started sobbing and panicked and wanted to run out of

the room. Didn't see that coming. The whole time, I kept shifting in my

chair and going to a standing position, then back to a sitting position. I

did remember to move the microphone. The microphones are there for

recording purposes only. My voice was not amplified and the room was small.

I was questioned about my inability to ever hold any job. I explained that

I am unreliable and cannot meet deadlines. My pain gets so blinding that I

can't always speak and I keep to myself.

I was asked about my social activities. I explained that I can no longer

attend church because I cannot sit in a car to get there nor sit in the

movies. I said that a friend comes and gets me every Sunday as my friend

cannot believe that I stay cooped up in the house so much. I said that I

get uncomfortable sitting after 20 minutes and have to be brought home.

The only reason I am comfortable to venture out is because she is around

the corner.

The judge asked how many times I had an epidural injection. I think the

fact that someone will allow needles in their spine speaks volumes. I knew

exactly how many. I also described in detail the radio-frequency ablation

to test if severing a nerve would help reduce my pain. My sobbing

increased. I said that was really what I considered my last hope.

The judge focused on the fact that I had home health come out for my

physical therapy. Guys, it is easy enough to get home PT. I just asked

the insurance company and they had no problem with it. I have Blue Cross.

Where I live, the at home PT is paid the same as the PT outside the home.

The judge asked me to tell in my own words, why I cannot work. I said that

I cannot sit or stand for more than five minutes and that I cannot

concentrate because of the effects of pain meds.

She then had my lawyer question me about my daily routine. I explained

that my former boyfriend has had to bathe me and wash my hair when it

becomes day 3, and I still don't feel sturdy enough to bathe on my own. I

have to break down all my household chores into very tiny sections. I

never complete a load of laundry in a day and sometimes have to re-wash

clothes that get spoiled because I can't get them to the dryer. I was

asked if I am ever to clean my whole house in one day. NO.

She asked about my ability to concentrate. I said that the pain and the

side effects of the medications that include dizziness and drowsiness made

it difficult to concentrate. I was asked if I forget what I am talking

about in conversation. The answer is yes.

I was asked about my migraines and how they feel. I said that it starts in

the back of my head and sits behind my eye. Then, I feel nauseous and have

to lie still for anywhere from a few hours to a whole day.

I was asked how many days leave me totally bed bound. I said 3 or four

days a month. That was a key question the judge asked the vocational rehab

specialist. I felt like I hadn't thought that question through enough.

She asked him about 3 different scenarios. One was to describe a perfectly

healthy person at my age of the accident/fall, able to lift stand and sit

for a six hour shift. Versus someone who has to lie down frequently

throughout the day and one who would MISS WORK FOR 3 or 4 days per month.

The vocational specialist said that I would not be able to maintain a

regular job working 40 hours a week based upon the scenario. I believe the

judge was asking if any accomodation could be made that would allow me to

work.

I was asked about my long term disability insurance. I was honest and told

them how the private investigator came to my home and had filmed me. The

judge focused if the insurance company kept paying me. I told her that at

that time, they did keep paying me. I was asked if the insurance company

did still pay me...I told them that they ended 15 days short, because I was

going to pay for a functional capacity exam myself. I was asked why I

didn't go through with the test. I explained that I didn't have the money,

because they cut me off.

They spent time on this topic. They were not aware that long term

disability insurance ends. I told them that it does, after two years. And

then, it goes to 60% of Any job. I had planned for them to cover me until

I got approved by Social Security. If long term disability insurance would

pay me the higher amount at the higher rate if I was trying to go back to

work.

I think the fact that even once all money was gone, that I chose to live

with relatives in another state, rather than go back to work, when push

came to shove, also spoke volumes.

I sobbed that I felt like my life had been taken away from me and that I

lost almost everything I own, including having vehicles repossessed.

They asked how often I went to the doctor. I said that I go about once a

month. But, that a favorite therapist had to fire me because I was unable

to make the ride to her office and broke 5 appointments in a row and the

therapist would not do a phone appointment. I told the judge that I have a

pending appointment with the free clinic and named the clinic. I told her

that I am currently unable to pay for medications and need an MRI, as I

think I recently burst a disc in my neck. I described the symptoms as

cold, stabbing, burning and tingling down my arms. I drop things often.

I described the two falls that have taken me out of my home by ambulance

and that I now have a Life Alert type system so that I have a way to call

for help.

the judge asked how often I cry. I said that I am on anti-depressants for

crying and pain. Cymbalta is an anti-depressant for pain. I am on 2

anti-depressants and Deplin, for those on anti-depressants for a long

period of time.

I was asked if I drive. I told them that I no longer have a drivers

license. Before I gave up driving I was only out of the house 4 days a

month, because my pain requires that I pull over a lot. I explained that

it is difficult for me to even be a passenger to the hearing. I had to

take major meds when I got home.

I was asked about my ability to do taxes. I said that as an accountant, I

have never been trained to be a professional accountant--a common

misconception of my job. In the old days, I would have been a bookkeeper.

But, because I have a degree and pursued running the entire office,

etc....I am an accountant. I said that I would never be able to sit

through any training and even when I did my own taxes, it took me 3 months

and I put down the wrong address! I put down the wrong street. Not a typo.

I guess what I would stress to you is to research your illness and

treatments. If you've decided not to go for epidural injections, go into

great detail as to why you've not taken conventional routes. Had I known

how prevalent anachroiditis is, I might not have gone for more than one

injection. I wish I would have kept a better pain log. I tended to keep

them in so many different notebooks, along with other things. I think it

would have helped to show the judge. Also keep details as to how your pain

feels. My pain has changed over these past two years and it wasn't until

asked that I remembered.

I am not one to focus on my pain on a regular basis...I am afraid that it

will make it hurt worse if that makes sense.

I'm sorry this is so detailed, but I know details of others hearings helped

me.

--not sure if you have a separate file on hearings. But, it might be

helpful to remind members to review these notes before going into their own

hearings. If I helped ease the anxiety for one person as to what to

expect, then I will be happy.

Now, ask me any questions, before I take a med and forget. LOL!

Ellen