Rough day

[Guest guest]

Had a cousin in another state ask how I was doing. I was honest in my

response. I am beyond struggling.

I am waiting to hear on the decision if I get social security disability

for a back and neck injury.

I was an accountant and have lost a lot. I live rural because that's what

I can afford. Had to surrender my car. Can't afford to tag or insure the

1983 used truck. I take public transportation that costs $6 round trip to

get to town. Am grateful that it comes to the door.

My cousin spilled the beans to my brother. He called. He sounded

annoyed. (Maybe my imagination.)

His quote was that he couldn't support two households but would help with

some groceries. He called me! I told him I was okay and didn't need

anything.

I came home from getting assistance, looked in the fridge and realized that

I have $3.48 to last me until Feb. 5th when food stamps renew.

I emailed him and told him that some soup, pasta and cereal would be

great.

I have hocked jewelry, sold stuff near and dear to my heart and am hoping

not to have to sell the truck. I am hoping I can get social security by

May to keep it. I wont drive without insurance and break the law.

I am hoping that things turn around soon. I have been crying all day from

feeling so defeated.

I have lived so strapped since my injury in 2007. I need an answer from

social security.

Ellen in TN

[Guest guest]

I have been there too!. I used an Internet group and got my ssdi first time I

filed~!~ Be sure and call 211 and see what help they can offer you in the

meantime!!! I understand. I was also an accountant!!!

Now basically worthless and I live in gang neighborhoods but getting by

Love to you

Cyrilla in OK

--- Ellen in TN wrote:

> I have hocked jewelry, sold stuff near and dear to my heart and am hoping

> not to have to sell the truck. I am hoping I can get social security by

> May to keep it. I wont drive without insurance and break the law.

>

> I am hoping that things turn around soon. I have been crying all day from

> feeling so defeated.

>

> I have lived so strapped since my injury in 2007. I need an answer from

> social security.

[Guest guest]

Cyrilla

How do you spend your time now? I keep thinking I can go back to work, but

I can't sit or use my arms on the computer or calculator for any length of

time.

I know that 'feeling worthless' feeling. Always looking for ideas to

occupy myself. I am 48.

Ellen in TN

[Guest guest]

Ellen,

 

You sound JUST like me in many ways.  The difference is that I can no longer

talk much without causing myself great jaw and head pain!  See my title below.

I spent >20 years in Human Resources and Training and Organizational

Development, have an advanced degree in the field and am a coaching graduate

with >150 hours of coaching training.  I already lost a coveted HR Senior

certification because I am on disability and couldn't afford the renewal fee,

and had no way to pay for (or participate in) any required advanced training. 

They were only willing to give me a 2 year extension for a permanent condition

that has no known cure.  Gee, how understanding!!

 

Anyway, I've been (and partly still am) where you are.  I feel like I'm letting

God down by not using my talents (I've also played piano my whole life but can

no longer sit at one >15 minutes due to back pain.)

 

The thing is, I consider the accident and what I've been through since to be a

gift and God's way of making me a better person.  It's taken me 7 painful years

to realize I now am " differently abled " , to use the politically correct

version.  I really mean that I am now able to see and do different things. 

One I'm determined to do is coach others with chronic pain disabilities to move

towards their Second Acts in life, and find something they feel uses their

gifts.

 

We all need to feel we're contributing in any small way we can to feed our

spirits.  So many of you are going through horrific existences and are SO brave

to even be thinking or asking about what you can do.  It would be my privilege

to help coach you, Ellen, or maybe a couple others (I realize I can't

over-commit) for free via email.

I know you'll be patient with me as I am just embarking on coaching via only

email, and can't predict when I'll respond due to my own varying pain levels. 

Who else better to understand.  Peace and Blessings!

Sue Meismer

Sr. Organizational Development Consultant

Developing Capability, Enhancing Value

> Ellen wrote:

> I know that 'feeling worthless' feeling. Always looking for ideas to

occupy myself.

[Guest guest]

I hear that.

Does anybody do meetup groups from meetup.com?

I didn't have chance to meet many people here before I got injured. I see

there are some meetup groups that meet once a month for dinner. I struggle

to drive and to sit thru a dinner at a restaurant. Only done it 4 times in

3 years.

I can't at all afford to eat out until I get disability.

But, even though I am 48, I was allowed to participate at the nearby senior

center. They do exercise in chairs. Me and the oldest.lady couldn't do

much. But, it was nice to hear music and be with people.

I am thinking of starting my own meetup group for people with limited

mobility. That way it would open up to wider age range. The isolation

gets to me too.

Ellen in TN

>Cyrilla wrote:

>

>

>

> I watch TV, play a few games on FB, play with my dogs and struggle to

cook, clean and dress.

>

> I try to find things on the internet or TV to make me laugh!!! I was a

social butterfly excelling at balancing everything and multitasking, Now it

is a struggle to fill up each day. I have survived 2 years with this much

isolation, but it had been coming for 12 years, a slow decline.

[Guest guest]

Hi Cyrilla, Ellen and all,

I just wanted to say with my very limited mobility and not going out much. No

pain control basically and that even though I am with my significant other

(s.o.). I am isolated, lonely. We live in s.o.'s trailer so not much room. Both

in chronic pain. It sucks, yep, that's the word I picked. That we have 2 cats

and we can't have them inside because of s.o.'s bad lungs (not from smoking). I

have always had my pets by my side. Oh well.

I play a few games on FaceBook and try my best to get some chores done, sure

wish I could get some better medical help on the Oregon coast. Loneliness

doesn't help. I am fortunate to have many family members online. Friends too.

Winter is hard on my s.o. as he is 10 my senior. Our birthday was 1-24-2012,

Tuesday. I hit 49 years old.

Wish I had someone to meet up with and talk to/with. Guess I just have to look

around more.

I am sick of this chronic pain, period. Who isn't, I know I am not the only one

that is hurting, lonely, etc.

Strange how you can live with someone and yet be lonely. Ugh.

Take care, hugs, Coleen

> Ellen wrote:

> Does anybody do meetup groups from meetup.com?

[Guest guest]

So many of us are residing with another person who is also ill or disabled. We

understand each other better, but it's hard to be caregiver and need care as

well.

Some are blessed to be loved by a person who is well and accepting /

understanding who can carry the burden. Some have been abandoned by the person

who could not accept and love us after we " changed " . It's not easy to be

disabled and watch the person who vowed to love no matter what, just walk away.

I don't know if it's because they are weak or just selfish.

Feeling lonely and somewhat helpless is a part of grieving the loss of our

health and normalcy.

Chronic pain that isn't controlled robs us of so much. I sometimes wonder if

I'll ever heal from it all. I know that I can't look too far forward or make

plans. So now it's just one day, one hour or minute at a time.

I'm just so glad to have found people who understand.

Jennette

> Coleen wrote:

>Strange how you can live with someone and yet be lonely. Ugh.