In need of advice sorry long

[Guest guest]

Hello all,

Well today has been extremely tough I went out with my Mum and dad to

buy a caravan which I really enjoyed but I found the pain hard to cope

with I made a excuse to go to the bathroom a few times when I was

actually going to the bathroom to cry and cry because it was so

unbearable I took extra meds as I knew this would be a tough day

Physically.

I was fine up till about midday and I had that Oh NO feeling and I knew

what was going to happen as I thought it a harp pain started in my hip

made its way down both my legs, We went up to the sales room and I said

down but this made this worst, so I thought (wrongly) If I walk around I

may walk it off well I was wrong so I ran to the bathroom and burst out

crying I felt so so so so ill because of the pain.

The journey on the way home was terrible my legs were so painful it was a

two hour there about car journey and it felt for ever to get home I

came home went to bed and crashed out due to pain, The pain now is about a 8 and

a half but was at a 9 and a half earlier today.

I can no longer physically stomach breakfast. I look at it and want to be

physically sick, if I try even toast I gag on it and can be sick, I

take a medication to help me not to be so sick but it is no longer

working.

I'm feeling very low and depressed, it will be a two years on 2nd

February that my little sister became a angel I miss her deeply and find

it hard going with out. I know I can't bring her back but she made me

feel better and knowing I could cuddle her and her smile would make me

feel so much better.

She was severely disabled had a condition called Hydranencephaly which was a

rare condition which caused lots of problems and we were told that she would of

been in a great deal of pain, but she

never ever showed it. She always smiled and always baby babbled.

I would talk to her about everything I know she wouldn't of answered me but I

feel that she knew what I was saying as she would cuddle her head into my chest

almost as to sat it will be ok it's silly things I miss but it means so much to

me.

I just don't know what to do anymore every time I think great I am

getting better I get knocked back down to where I was and worst. I had

to give up my job due to pain which I didn't want to do but had no

choice or I would of been fired.

I am unable to speak to anyone in my family as they simply don't understand how

much pain I am in and suffer everyday day in day out with out a single break

from it. What should I do I feel so very low and very lonely. any suggestions I

tried crafts I get in to them then I stop.

Regards Ms Donna-Marie Hurst

South Wales United Kingdom, Moderator for My Tears Are Real