Guest guest Posted September 5, 2001 Report Share Posted September 5, 2001 , I believe that would be medial glenohumeral ligament. Margaret >>> " Skeese " 09/05/01 10:59AM >>> 1. Thickening of the anterior capsule and s/l medioglenohumeral ligament which may be related to prior injury. I am questioning what s/l medioglenohumeral ligament or medo. I cannot reference this form of the word. TIA TO REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THIS MAILING LIST send a blank email to nmtc-unsubscribe PLEASE VISIT THE NMTC WEB SITE - http://go.to/nmtc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2001 Report Share Posted September 9, 2001 Can you add a little more information from the report, to help narrow this down a little? Pattie riacop@... wrote: > Hi, > I realize my mistake yesterday asking for help with drugs. The patient's > condition was actually psoriasis not cirrhosis. When proofreading I realized > my error and was then able to find the drugs. > > Has anyone ever heard the word s/l trunduced > A coworker noted the patient was trundanced or trunduced? > Thanks > Ria > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2003 Report Share Posted March 25, 2003 Donna, Your mother sounds like a handful. I pray I never treat my children that way. She doesn't seem to have Altzheimer's but there's a book called " The 36 Hour Day " for caregivers of those who do. It has a lot of practical wisdom in it. The thing that I remember most is, the statement is made that it's not what the patient WANTS, but what they NEED that's important. None of us wants to have our mother in a home but their safety is the foremost thing. It was a difficult thing to put my husband's mother in a nursing home, but she was not safe, even with her daughter in the house. God bless you, I hope you find a solution soon for your own sanity!! Blessings, Vivian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2003 Report Share Posted March 25, 2003 Donna, $7 a gallon for milk would cause you to be concerned about someone taking advantage of her. She sounds a lot like my grandmother who was selfish and not caring how her actions affected her family. Of course, you ARE doing the right thing for her by arranging for assisted care living; she'll hopefully understand and appreciate it when she gets settled and may even enjoy it. My grandmother didn't have any patience either, but her kids spoiled her and gave in so she just took advantage. You MUST take care of yourself. Try to get over feeling guilty; you are doing the best thing in her (and your) interest. Of course, she's angry right now, change is hard for all of us to accept and she probably feels she is losing her independence and control of her life. That's why she's probably saying those things. My Mother is very frail, and my Dad's nerves could only take so much, so I pay for a caretaker for her during the day so my Dad can have some relief. I often wonder, since I don't have any biological children, what's going to happen to me when I'm the age of my parents. I told my husband I had to die first because I wasn't staying around by myself. Got to keep things light. I'll move you to the top of my prayer list. Looking forward to seeing you again at Spring Fling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2003 Report Share Posted March 25, 2003 Donna, My heart goes out to you. It must be so hard. My mother is a piece of work, but fortunately, she is quite capable of caring for herself. In fact, she owns an Elderly Care facility. She says that way when she needs care she will already have a good place to go! Anyway, most of her residents didn't want to come there, but after awhile they don't want to leave. They make friends and have a better opportunity to socialize than they did living alone. They also get better meals that in turns improves their health, and dispositions. I would suggest that your mother is angry with herself and you are the only one she is comfortable enough to take it out on. Little does she know it hurts you more than it would someone else. Nobody wants to get to the point that they can't care for themselves. Usually when that time comes it takes the family to force the issue, or sometimes a serious fall or illness that forces a physician to order the move. Rarely do they make the decision on their own. I think it would be better for your mother to adjust to living in an assisted care facility while she is healthy. You don't want to wait until she falls and breaks something. I look forward to seeing you at Spring Fling! In the meantime, keep saying the Serenity Prayer. It seems to apply every time I'm under stress. :-) Thomson Solana Beach, Ca Visit www.als-pls.org and www.geocities.com/mdmfoo/pls.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2003 Report Share Posted March 25, 2003 Donna, About a year and a half my 93 year old mother came to live with us. Keep in my that I am a breast cancer survivor and my husband has suffered two heart attacks and two strokes. I have two brothers. One is retired, has lots of $, travels and lives about 1/2 hour from me. My other brother, who also could be retired at this time in his life, is not, because 2 years ago he and his wife were caught selling drugs. My brother went to prison and did his time. They are both still on parole. They have now gotten real jobs and changed their lives around. My " rich, retired " promised to help us if mom came here to live with us. Well that is a joke. He used to come here and " hang out " to visit her. Bill and I wanted to go on a cruise last October and checked with my brother to see if mother could come stay with him. He said no, but he would check in on her, now and then. Although she is in good health, she cannot be left alone. So, my rich, retired brother dosen't speak to me anymore, as mother was told that she couldn't stay at his house and we made other arrangements. It has been a life change since she has been here. We have given up our bedroom with attached bath so she would have a corner of the house. Mother pays for 1/2 of the grocery bill and that's it. I recently told her that my legs were getting stiffer. The next day she had " problems " with her legs. I have to catch myself sometimes as I get off balance(I have not fallen) she now complains that she wobbles when she walks. One thing that hurts me terribly is that she pays no attention to my children or my grandchildren. I mean these are her grandkids and great grandkids. Never a phone call, card, nothing. We are having our taxes done next week. We are prepaing to count mother as our dependant this year. We asked her for her tax return statement so we could bring it with us. She already had hers done and went with the rich, retired brother. Well she has made over 45,000 in income this past year as a result of her investments. Now we don't know if we can even claim her, as she made more than us. Our bank account gets smaller and hers gets larger, and in the end it will get shared with my brothers. There, I said it. It has been on my mind and is sometimes frustrating. Whenever we go anywhere I have to give a detailed report as to when, where, who, etc. I often feel like I am 12 years old again. The Bible tells us we are to love and care for our parents. He didn't say it would be easy. But that is why I am doing it. If my mother started treating me like yours is and starting paying neighbors to do things for her, I would just let her go and do it. If it gets to the point that I no longer can care for her I would not hesitate to put her in a nursing home. I know Mr. Rich and Retired will not take her. Continue to do what you know is right. Don't let anyone put guilt on you. If she wants to pay $7.00 for a gallon of milk, let her. Perhaps the reason you know about this incident is because she told you. You are showing love to your mother by cooking for her and taking her to the doctors. Sounds like the money for the van and the money for the private room is a " wash " . You need to take care of yourself, and your husband. Keep the faith, free yourself from any guilt and continue on being a concerned daughter and a loving wife. Cookie -- If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through. A friend loveth at all times Proverbs 17:17 > It's my mother, I can barely take care of myself now, how can I help > her? She had started paying the neighbors and others in the > retirement community, to carry out her trash, pick up her mail, and > buy her groceries. She comes across very angry with me now that I > can't do it. I'm concerned that someone will take advantage of > her. Would you believe a gallon of milk cost her $7.00. If she had > patients, (which she don't) she could wait until my husband got off > from work to take it to her. I can still cook, so I send food to > her by my husband. I took her to the lung doctor last week, and she > moves faster than me. If she would fall, I couldn't help her, and > visa versa. > When my husband was out of town, she called at one o'clock in the > morning, on a rainy, cold night saying she couldn't breath. I > rushed over there, (you know what cold, rainy weather does to a > PLS'er) and her oxygen machine was working just fine. She sits up > all night and sleeps all day. She had started listing to the sound > of the machine and decided it didn't sound right. (If you ever > wonder if the air is working, stick the tube in a glass of water) > She is stubborn and determined to live alone, but she can't cook, do > her laundry or clean her house. > I wanted her to go into an assisted living home, but she wouldn't do > it. Finally after my children talked to her she agreed to go. My > daughter-in-law spent two whole days on the phone, getting the paper > work, doctors signatures, and looking into a way we could do it > without loosing her pention. > My daughter in law had worked it out so mother could buy a van (in > her name, with the pention money) and I would pay $200.00 a month > for her a private room with my own money. She listens to the people > around her and says she is taking the money with her to the assisted > living home so she will get better treatment and a private room. > When my husband tried to reason with her she turned her head away. > First of all I feel sad that it has to be done. Second I feel > guilty, like I'm forcing her to do something she does't want to do. > And finally I feel guilty we are using her money to buy a van for > me, even though I will pay for her a private room. > You can't imagine the tole this is having on my PLS. Even with the > provigel, I can barely get through the day. I don't want to start on > prozac again, but this is really tough. > Does anyone have words of wisdom, or can say that they have been > there? Anything is appreciated. > Donna > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2003 Report Share Posted March 25, 2003 Hi Donna: I felt like I was reading my own story when I read this. My Mom (84 yrs.) had severe emphasema and COPD and was still living in her own house up until Oct. 22nd/02 when she ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. Up to that point she wasn't on oxygen. My mom lived alone and to make matters worse, I am an ONLY child. I used to make up my Mom's meals and freeze them so she only had to heat them up in the microwave. My Mom was ademant that she wanted to stay in her own home but she is on constant oxygen now and with some convincing from the nursing staff and my daughter she has resigned herself to the fact that she can no longer live alone. Like you, I felt that I wasn't doing my part as a daughter and with my own health declining getting over and into her house was becoming more difficult. She will be staying in a continueing care home and I am now in the process of putting her house up for sale. The mental stress of all this is taking it's toll on me and I am extremely tired. On the brighter side - she is quite happy with her surroundings and is waiting for a private room also. You shouldn't feel guilty about anything, including the Van as it sounds like you have done a lot for your Mom. Hopefully she will realize that you have her best interest at heart. I hope things start getting easier for you each day as the stress will drag you under. There comes a time when you have to put your own health first and hopefully your Mom will realize that. Take care! Jo! HELP > It's my mother, I can barely take care of myself now, how can I help > her? She had started paying the neighbors and others in the > retirement community, to carry out her trash, pick up her mail, and > buy her groceries. She comes across very angry with me now that I > can't do it. I'm concerned that someone will take advantage of > her. Would you believe a gallon of milk cost her $7.00. If she had > patients, (which she don't) she could wait until my husband got off > from work to take it to her. I can still cook, so I send food to > her by my husband. I took her to the lung doctor last week, and she > moves faster than me. If she would fall, I couldn't help her, and > visa versa. > When my husband was out of town, she called at one o'clock in the > morning, on a rainy, cold night saying she couldn't breath. I > rushed over there, (you know what cold, rainy weather does to a > PLS'er) and her oxygen machine was working just fine. She sits up > all night and sleeps all day. She had started listing to the sound > of the machine and decided it didn't sound right. (If you ever > wonder if the air is working, stick the tube in a glass of water) > She is stubborn and determined to live alone, but she can't cook, do > her laundry or clean her house. > I wanted her to go into an assisted living home, but she wouldn't do > it. Finally after my children talked to her she agreed to go. My > daughter-in-law spent two whole days on the phone, getting the paper > work, doctors signatures, and looking into a way we could do it > without loosing her pention. > My daughter in law had worked it out so mother could buy a van (in > her name, with the pention money) and I would pay $200.00 a month > for her a private room with my own money. She listens to the people > around her and says she is taking the money with her to the assisted > living home so she will get better treatment and a private room. > When my husband tried to reason with her she turned her head away. > First of all I feel sad that it has to be done. Second I feel > guilty, like I'm forcing her to do something she does't want to do. > And finally I feel guilty we are using her money to buy a van for > me, even though I will pay for her a private room. > You can't imagine the tole this is having on my PLS. Even with the > provigel, I can barely get through the day. I don't want to start on > prozac again, but this is really tough. > Does anyone have words of wisdom, or can say that they have been > there? Anything is appreciated. > Donna > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2003 Report Share Posted March 25, 2003 Wow Cookie, you make me feel fortunate! Bless you girl, you're too good for your own good. That just goes to show we never know what other people suffer. Are you her POA, I certainly hope so? If not perhaps you should consider it. That way if fat dad comes in to take over, you can put the breaks on the situation. God Bless you, Donna > > Donna, > > About a year and a half my 93 year old mother came to live with us. Keep in my > that I am a breast cancer survivor and my husband has suffered two heart > attacks and two strokes. I have two brothers. One is retired, has lots of $, > travels and lives about 1/2 hour from me. My other brother, who also could be > retired at this time in his life, is not, because 2 years ago he and his wife > were caught selling drugs. My brother went to prison and did his time. They > are both still on parole. They have now gotten real jobs and changed their > lives around. My " rich, retired " promised to help us if mom came here to live > with us. Well that is a joke. He used to come here and " hang out " to visit her. > Bill and I wanted to go on a cruise last October and checked with my brother to > see if mother could come stay with him. He said no, but he would check in on > her, now and then. Although she is in good health, she cannot be left alone. > So, my rich, retired brother dosen't speak to me anymore, as mother was told > that she couldn't stay at his house and we made other arrangements. > > It has been a life change since she has been here. We have given up our bedroom > with attached bath so she would have a corner of the house. Mother pays for 1/2 > of the grocery bill and that's it. I recently told her that my legs were > getting stiffer. The next day she had " problems " with her legs. I have to catch > myself sometimes as I get off balance(I have not fallen) she now complains that > she wobbles when she walks. > > One thing that hurts me terribly is that she pays no attention to my children > or my grandchildren. I mean these are her grandkids and great grandkids. Never > a phone call, card, nothing. We are having our taxes done next week. We are > prepaing to count mother as our dependant this year. We asked her for her tax > return statement so we could bring it with us. She already had hers done and > went with the rich, retired brother. Well she has made over 45,000 in income > this past year as a result of her investments. Now we don't know if we can > even claim her, as she made more than us. Our bank account gets smaller and > hers gets larger, and in the end it will get shared with my brothers. There, I > said it. It has been on my mind and is sometimes frustrating. Whenever we go > anywhere I have to give a detailed report as to when, where, who, etc. I often > feel like I am 12 years old again. > > The Bible tells us we are to love and care for our parents. He didn't say it > would be easy. But that is why I am doing it. > > If my mother started treating me like yours is and starting paying neighbors to > do things for her, I would just let her go and do it. If it gets to the point > that I no longer can care for her I would not hesitate to put her in a nursing > home. I know Mr. Rich and Retired will not take her. > > Continue to do what you know is right. Don't let anyone put guilt on you. If > she wants to pay $7.00 for a gallon of milk, let her. Perhaps the reason you > know about this incident is because she told you. You are showing love to your > mother by cooking for her and taking her to the doctors. Sounds like the money > for the van and the money for the private room is a " wash " . You need to take > care of yourself, and your husband. > > Keep the faith, free yourself from any guilt and continue on being a concerned > daughter and a loving wife. > > Cookie > -- > If you get up one more time than > you fall, you will make it through. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A friend loveth at all times > Proverbs 17:17 > > It's my mother, I can barely take care of myself now, how can I help > > her? She had started paying the neighbors and others in the > > retirement community, to carry out her trash, pick up her mail, and > > buy her groceries. She comes across very angry with me now that I > > can't do it. I'm concerned that someone will take advantage of > > her. Would you believe a gallon of milk cost her $7.00. If she had > > patients, (which she don't) she could wait until my husband got off > > from work to take it to her. I can still cook, so I send food to > > her by my husband. I took her to the lung doctor last week, and she > > moves faster than me. If she would fall, I couldn't help her, and > > visa versa. > > When my husband was out of town, she called at one o'clock in the > > morning, on a rainy, cold night saying she couldn't breath. I > > rushed over there, (you know what cold, rainy weather does to a > > PLS'er) and her oxygen machine was working just fine. She sits up > > > all night and sleeps all day. She had started listing to the sound > > of the machine and decided it didn't sound right. (If you ever > > wonder if the air is working, stick the tube in a glass of water) > > She is stubborn and determined to live alone, but she can't cook, do > > her laundry or clean her house. > > I wanted her to go into an assisted living home, but she wouldn't do > > it. Finally after my children talked to her she agreed to go. My > > daughter-in-law spent two whole days on the phone, getting the paper > > work, doctors signatures, and looking into a way we could do it > > without loosing her pention. > > My daughter in law had worked it out so mother could buy a van (in > > her name, with the pention money) and I would pay $200.00 a month > > for her a private room with my own money. She listens to the people > > around her and says she is taking the money with her to the assisted > > living home so she will get better treatment and a private room. > > > When my husband tried to reason with her she turned her head away. > > First of all I feel sad that it has to be done. Second I feel > > guilty, like I'm forcing her to do something she does't want to do. > > And finally I feel guilty we are using her money to buy a van for > > me, even though I will pay for her a private room. > > You can't imagine the tole this is having on my PLS. Even with the > > provigel, I can barely get through the day. I don't want to start on > > prozac again, but this is really tough. > > Does anyone have words of wisdom, or can say that they have been > > there? Anything is appreciated. > > Donna > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2003 Report Share Posted March 25, 2003 Hey Donna, No Mr. Rich and Retired has POA...how does that grab ya? Love, Cookie -- If you get up one more time than you fall, you will make it through. A friend loveth at all times Proverbs 17:17 > Wow Cookie, you make me feel fortunate! Bless you girl, you're too > good for your own good. That just goes to show we never know what > other people suffer. Are you her POA, I certainly hope so? If not > perhaps you should consider it. That way if fat dad comes in to > take over, you can put the breaks on the situation. > God Bless you, > Donna > > > > > > Donna, > > > > About a year and a half my 93 year old mother came to live with > us. Keep in my > > that I am a breast cancer survivor and my husband has suffered two > heart > > attacks and two strokes. I have two brothers. One is retired, has > lots of $, > > travels and lives about 1/2 hour from me. My other brother, who > also could be > > retired at this time in his life, is not, because 2 years ago he > and his wife > > were caught selling drugs. My brother went to prison and did his > time. They > > are both still on parole. They have now gotten real jobs and > changed their > > lives around. My " rich, retired " promised to help us if mom came > here to live > > with us. Well that is a joke. He used to come here and " hang out " > to visit her. > > Bill and I wanted to go on a cruise last October and checked with > my brother to > > see if mother could come stay with him. He said no, but he would > check in on > > her, now and then. Although she is in good health, she cannot be > left alone. > > So, my rich, retired brother dosen't speak to me anymore, as > mother was told > > that she couldn't stay at his house and we made other arrangements. > > > > It has been a life change since she has been here. We have given > up our bedroom > > with attached bath so she would have a corner of the house. Mother > pays for 1/2 > > of the grocery bill and that's it. I recently told her that my > legs were > > getting stiffer. The next day she had " problems " with her legs. I > have to catch > > myself sometimes as I get off balance(I have not fallen) she now > complains that > > she wobbles when she walks. > > > > One thing that hurts me terribly is that she pays no attention to > my children > > or my grandchildren. I mean these are her grandkids and great > grandkids. Never > > a phone call, card, nothing. We are having our taxes done next > week. We are > > prepaing to count mother as our dependant this year. We asked her > for her tax > > return statement so we could bring it with us. She already had > hers done and > > went with the rich, retired brother. Well she has made over 45,000 > in income > > this past year as a result of her investments. Now we don't know > if we can > > even claim her, as she made more than us. Our bank account gets > smaller and > > hers gets larger, and in the end it will get shared with my > brothers. There, I > > said it. It has been on my mind and is sometimes frustrating. > Whenever we go > > anywhere I have to give a detailed report as to when, where, who, > etc. I often > > feel like I am 12 years old again. > > > > The Bible tells us we are to love and care for our parents. He > didn't say it > > would be easy. But that is why I am doing it. > > > > If my mother started treating me like yours is and starting paying > neighbors to > > do things for her, I would just let her go and do it. If it gets > to the point > > that I no longer can care for her I would not hesitate to put her > in a nursing > > home. I know Mr. Rich and Retired will not take her. > > > > Continue to do what you know is right. Don't let anyone put guilt > on you. If > > she wants to pay $7.00 for a gallon of milk, let her. Perhaps the > reason you > > know about this incident is because she told you. You are showing > love to your > > mother by cooking for her and taking her to the doctors. Sounds > like the money > > for the van and the money for the private room is a " wash " . You > need to take > > care of yourself, and your husband. > > > > Keep the faith, free yourself from any guilt and continue on being > a concerned > > daughter and a loving wife. > > > > Cookie > > -- > > If you get up one more time than > > you fall, you will make it through. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A friend loveth at all times > > Proverbs 17:17 > > > It's my mother, I can barely take care of myself now, how can I > help > > > her? She had started paying the neighbors and others in the > > > retirement community, to carry out her trash, pick up her mail, > and > > > buy her groceries. She comes across very angry with me now that > I > > > can't do it. I'm concerned that someone will take advantage of > > > her. Would you believe a gallon of milk cost her $7.00. If she > had > > > patients, (which she don't) she could wait until my husband got > off > > > from work to take it to her. I can still cook, so I send food > to > > > her by my husband. I took her to the lung doctor last week, and > she > > > moves faster than me. If she would fall, I couldn't help her, > and > > > visa versa. > > > When my husband was out of town, she called at one o'clock in > the > > > morning, on a rainy, cold night saying she couldn't breath. I > > > rushed over there, (you know what cold, rainy weather does to a > > > PLS'er) and her oxygen machine was working just fine. She sits > up > > > > > all night and sleeps all day. She had started listing to the > sound > > > of the machine and decided it didn't sound right. (If you ever > > > wonder if the air is working, stick the tube in a glass of > water) > > > She is stubborn and determined to live alone, but she can't > cook, do > > > her laundry or clean her house. > > > I wanted her to go into an assisted living home, but she > wouldn't do > > > it. Finally after my children talked to her she agreed to go. > My > > > daughter-in-law spent two whole days on the phone, getting the > paper > > > work, doctors signatures, and looking into a way we could do it > > > without loosing her pention. > > > My daughter in law had worked it out so mother could buy a van > (in > > > her name, with the pention money) and I would pay $200.00 a > month > > > for her a private room with my own money. She listens to the > people > > > around her and says she is taking the money with her to the > assisted > > > living home so she will get better treatment and a private room. > > > > > When my husband tried to reason with her she turned her head > away. > > > First of all I feel sad that it has to be done. Second I feel > > > guilty, like I'm forcing her to do something she does't want to > do. > > > And finally I feel guilty we are using her money to buy a van > for > > > me, even though I will pay for her a private room. > > > You can't imagine the tole this is having on my PLS. Even with > the > > > provigel, I can barely get through the day. I don't want to > start on > > > prozac again, but this is really tough. > > > Does anyone have words of wisdom, or can say that they have been > > > there? Anything is appreciated. > > > Donna > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2003 Report Share Posted March 25, 2003 Cookie can you talk to your mother and tell her that since she lives with you, you need to be her POA? Tell her if Mr. Rich and Retired is out of town, and something would happen to her, you should have the ability to make a life and death decisions for her. If she is unreasonable about that, tell her she should move in with Mr. Footloose and Fancy Free and let him make her decisions. I really feel bad for you. Being an only child has major weight as far as the care is concerned, but in your case, your the only working child and you have no imput. It must be a terrible strain on your homelife. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Donna > > > > > > Donna, > > > > > > About a year and a half my 93 year old mother came to live with > > us. Keep in my > > > that I am a breast cancer survivor and my husband has suffered two > > heart > > > attacks and two strokes. I have two brothers. One is retired, has > > lots of $, > > > travels and lives about 1/2 hour from me. My other brother, who > > also could be > > > retired at this time in his life, is not, because 2 years ago he > > and his wife > > > were caught selling drugs. My brother went to prison and did his > > time. They > > > are both still on parole. They have now gotten real jobs and > > changed their > > > > lives around. My " rich, retired " promised to help us if mom came > > here to live > > > with us. Well that is a joke. He used to come here and " hang out " > > to visit her. > > > Bill and I wanted to go on a cruise last October and checked with > > my brother to > > > see if mother could come stay with him. He said no, but he would > > check in on > > > her, now and then. Although she is in good health, she cannot be > > left alone. > > > So, my rich, retired brother dosen't speak to me anymore, as > > mother was told > > > that she couldn't stay at his house and we made other arrangements. > > > > > > It has been a life change since she has been here. We have given > > up our bedroom > > > with attached bath so she would have a corner of the house. Mother > > pays for 1/2 > > > of the grocery bill and that's it. I recently told her that my > > legs were > > > getting stiffer. The next day she had " problems " with her legs. I > > have to catch > > > myself sometimes as I get off balance(I have not fallen) she now > > complains that > > > > she wobbles when she walks. > > > > > > One thing that hurts me terribly is that she pays no attention to > > my children > > > or my grandchildren. I mean these are her grandkids and great > > grandkids. Never > > > a phone call, card, nothing. We are having our taxes done next > > week. We are > > > prepaing to count mother as our dependant this year. We asked her > > for her tax > > > return statement so we could bring it with us. She already had > > hers done and > > > went with the rich, retired brother. Well she has made over 45,000 > > in income > > > this past year as a result of her investments. Now we don't know > > if we can > > > even claim her, as she made more than us. Our bank account gets > > smaller and > > > hers gets larger, and in the end it will get shared with my > > brothers. There, I > > > said it. It has been on my mind and is sometimes frustrating. > > Whenever we go > > > anywhere I have to give a detailed report as to when, where, who, > > etc. I often > > > feel like I am 12 years old again. > > > > > > > The Bible tells us we are to love and care for our parents. He > > didn't say it > > > would be easy. But that is why I am doing it. > > > > > > If my mother started treating me like yours is and starting paying > > neighbors to > > > do things for her, I would just let her go and do it. If it gets > > to the point > > > that I no longer can care for her I would not hesitate to put her > > in a nursing > > > home. I know Mr. Rich and Retired will not take her. > > > > > > Continue to do what you know is right. Don't let anyone put guilt > > on you. If > > > she wants to pay $7.00 for a gallon of milk, let her. Perhaps the > > reason you > > > know about this incident is because she told you. You are showing > > love to your > > > mother by cooking for her and taking her to the doctors. Sounds > > like the money > > > for the van and the money for the private room is a " wash " . You > > need to take > > > care of yourself, and your husband. > > > > > > Keep the faith, free yourself from any guilt and continue on being > > a concerned > > > > daughter and a loving wife. > > > > > > Cookie > > > -- > > > If you get up one more time than > > > you fall, you will make it through. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A friend loveth at all times > > > Proverbs 17:17 > > > > It's my mother, I can barely take care of myself now, how can I > > help > > > > her? She had started paying the neighbors and others in the > > > > retirement community, to carry out her trash, pick up her mail, > > and > > > > buy her groceries. She comes across very angry with me now that > > I > > > > can't do it. I'm concerned that someone will take advantage of > > > > her. Would you believe a gallon of milk cost her $7.00. If she > > had > > > > patients, (which she don't) she could wait until my husband got > > off > > > > from work to take it to her. I can still cook, so I send food > > to > > > > her by my husband. I took her to the lung doctor last week, and > > she > > > > moves faster than me. If she would fall, I couldn't help her, > > and > > > > > visa versa. > > > > When my husband was out of town, she called at one o'clock in > > the > > > > morning, on a rainy, cold night saying she couldn't breath. I > > > > rushed over there, (you know what cold, rainy weather does to a > > > > PLS'er) and her oxygen machine was working just fine. She sits > > up > > > > > > > all night and sleeps all day. She had started listing to the > > sound > > > > of the machine and decided it didn't sound right. (If you ever > > > > wonder if the air is working, stick the tube in a glass of > > water) > > > > She is stubborn and determined to live alone, but she can't > > cook, do > > > > her laundry or clean her house. > > > > I wanted her to go into an assisted living home, but she > > wouldn't do > > > > it. Finally after my children talked to her she agreed to go. > > My > > > > daughter-in-law spent two whole days on the phone, getting the > > paper > > > > work, doctors signatures, and looking into a way we could do it > > > > without loosing her pention. > > > > > My daughter in law had worked it out so mother could buy a van > > (in > > > > her name, with the pention money) and I would pay $200.00 a > > month > > > > for her a private room with my own money. She listens to the > > people > > > > around her and says she is taking the money with her to the > > assisted > > > > living home so she will get better treatment and a private room. > > > > > > > When my husband tried to reason with her she turned her head > > away. > > > > First of all I feel sad that it has to be done. Second I feel > > > > guilty, like I'm forcing her to do something she does't want to > > do. > > > > And finally I feel guilty we are using her money to buy a van > > for > > > > me, even though I will pay for her a private room. > > > > You can't imagine the tole this is having on my PLS. Even with > > the > > > > provigel, I can barely get through the day. I don't want to > > start on > > > > prozac again, but this is really tough. > > > > Does anyone have words of wisdom, or can say that they have been > > > > > there? Anything is appreciated. > > > > Donna > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 Vivian, You have given me a new prospecive ... it what she needs ... not what I'm doing to her. Thank you, Donna > Donna, > > Your mother sounds like a handful. I pray I never treat my children that > way. She doesn't seem to have Altzheimer's but there's a book called " The 36 > Hour Day " for caregivers of those who do. It has a lot of practical wisdom > in it. The thing that I remember most is, the statement is made that it's > not what the patient WANTS, but what they NEED that's important. None of us > wants to have our mother in a home but their safety is the foremost thing. > It was a difficult thing to put my husband's mother in a nursing home, but > she was not safe, even with her daughter in the house. > > God bless you, I hope you find a solution soon for your own sanity!! > > Blessings, > > Vivian > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 thank you so much for your kind words. I don't know what I'd do without this group. I'm looking forward to seeing you too. Thanks for your prayers, Donna > Donna, > > $7 a gallon for milk would cause you to be concerned about someone taking > advantage of her. She sounds a lot like my grandmother who was selfish and > not caring how her actions affected her family. Of course, you ARE doing the > right thing for her by arranging for assisted care living; she'll hopefully > understand and appreciate it when she gets settled and may even enjoy it. My > grandmother didn't have any patience either, but her kids spoiled her and > gave in so she just took advantage. You MUST take care of yourself. Try to > get over feeling guilty; you are doing the best thing in her (and your) > interest. Of course, she's angry right now, change is hard for all of us to > accept and she probably feels she is losing her independence and control of > her life. That's why she's probably saying those things. > > My Mother is very frail, and my Dad's nerves could only take so much, so I > pay for a caretaker for her during the day so my Dad can have some relief. I > often wonder, since I don't have any biological children, what's going to > happen to me when I'm the age of my parents. I told my husband I had to die > first because I wasn't staying around by myself. Got to keep things light. > > I'll move you to the top of my prayer list. Looking forward to seeing you > again at Spring Fling. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 Hi , I wondered where you got drive and ambition, now I know. You are an asset to the group, and have enlightened me in many ways. Thank you for letting me know that their are happy people in care facilities. The only ones I have seen were quite and depressing. My daughter-in-law (bless her) has found a brand new place. We are hopeful she will be happy there. Thanks for your words of encouragement. I'm looking forward to meeting you, Donna -- In PLS-FRIENDS , " Thomson " <jthomson@a...> wrote: > Donna, > My heart goes out to you. It must be so hard. My mother is a piece of > work, but fortunately, she is quite capable of caring for herself. In fact, > she owns an Elderly Care facility. She says that way when she needs care > she will already have a good place to go! Anyway, most of her residents > didn't want to come there, but after awhile they don't want to leave. They > make friends and have a better opportunity to socialize than they did living > alone. They also get better meals that in turns improves their health, and > dispositions. > I would suggest that your mother is angry with herself and you are the only > one she is comfortable enough to take it out on. Little does she know it > hurts you more than it would someone else. > Nobody wants to get to the point that they can't care for themselves. > Usually when that time comes it takes the family to force the issue, or > sometimes a serious fall or illness that forces a physician to order the > move. Rarely do they make the decision on their own. I think it would be > better for your mother to adjust to living in an assisted care facility > while she is healthy. You don't want to wait until she falls and breaks > something. > I look forward to seeing you at Spring Fling! In the meantime, keep saying > the Serenity Prayer. It seems to apply every time I'm under stress. :-) > Thomson > Solana Beach, Ca > Visit www.als-pls.org > and www.geocities.com/mdmfoo/pls.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2003 Report Share Posted March 26, 2003 Jo it's tough being an only child (my sister died 8 years ago). So I can relate to what you are saying. My mother has emphasema too, and I was afraid she would not be able to get to her oxygen. Maybe when she is settled in I'll feel better about this. Thanks for your encouragement. God Bless you, Donna > Hi Donna: > > I felt like I was reading my own story when I read this. My Mom (84 yrs.) > had severe emphasema and COPD and was still living in her own house up until > Oct. 22nd/02 when she ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. Up to that > point she wasn't on oxygen. My mom lived alone and to make matters worse, I > am an ONLY child. I used to make up my Mom's meals and freeze them so she > only had to heat them up in the microwave. My Mom was ademant that she > wanted to stay in her own home but she is on constant oxygen now and with > some convincing from the nursing staff and my daughter she has resigned > herself to the fact that she can no longer live alone. > > Like you, I felt that I wasn't doing my part as a daughter and with my own > health declining getting over and into her house was becoming more > difficult. She will be staying in a continueing care home and I am now in > the process of putting her house up for sale. The mental stress of all this > is taking it's toll on me and I am extremely tired. > > On the brighter side - she is quite happy with her surroundings and is > waiting for a private room also. You shouldn't feel guilty about anything, > including the Van as it sounds like you have done a lot for your Mom. > Hopefully she will realize that you have her best interest at heart. > > I hope things start getting easier for you each day as the stress will drag > you under. There comes a time when you have to put your own health first > and hopefully your Mom will realize that. > > Take care! > > Jo! > > > HELP > > > > It's my mother, I can barely take care of myself now, how can I help > > her? She had started paying the neighbors and others in the > > retirement community, to carry out her trash, pick up her mail, and > > buy her groceries. She comes across very angry with me now that I > > can't do it. I'm concerned that someone will take advantage of > > her. Would you believe a gallon of milk cost her $7.00. If she had > > patients, (which she don't) she could wait until my husband got off > > from work to take it to her. I can still cook, so I send food to > > her by my husband. I took her to the lung doctor last week, and she > > moves faster than me. If she would fall, I couldn't help her, and > > visa versa. > > When my husband was out of town, she called at one o'clock in the > > morning, on a rainy, cold night saying she couldn't breath. I > > rushed over there, (you know what cold, rainy weather does to a > > PLS'er) and her oxygen machine was working just fine. She sits up > > all night and sleeps all day. She had started listing to the sound > > of the machine and decided it didn't sound right. (If you ever > > wonder if the air is working, stick the tube in a glass of water) > > She is stubborn and determined to live alone, but she can't cook, do > > her laundry or clean her house. > > I wanted her to go into an assisted living home, but she wouldn't do > > it. Finally after my children talked to her she agreed to go. My > > daughter-in-law spent two whole days on the phone, getting the paper > > work, doctors signatures, and looking into a way we could do it > > without loosing her pention. > > My daughter in law had worked it out so mother could buy a van (in > > her name, with the pention money) and I would pay $200.00 a month > > for her a private room with my own money. She listens to the people > > around her and says she is taking the money with her to the assisted > > living home so she will get better treatment and a private room. > > When my husband tried to reason with her she turned her head away. > > First of all I feel sad that it has to be done. Second I feel > > guilty, like I'm forcing her to do something she does't want to do. > > And finally I feel guilty we are using her money to buy a van for > > me, even though I will pay for her a private room. > > You can't imagine the tole this is having on my PLS. Even with the > > provigel, I can barely get through the day. I don't want to start on > > prozac again, but this is really tough. > > Does anyone have words of wisdom, or can say that they have been > > there? Anything is appreciated. > > Donna > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2003 Report Share Posted April 14, 2003 Jane Ann, I think it was me. Here's what I got. Hope it helps. web site www.haverich.com email info@... Phone: 1- 1- Hope you find something here. Ronnie HELP > To all, > > I know someone gave me an e-mail for handicap bike equipment like a foot pedal and a seat with a back on it. Please give me that again as we had to get a new computer and loss all of my favorites. I really need them asap. I have not been on bike for one month and 2 weeks and legs are getting really bad. > Even if you did not tell me about them if you know of any just e-mail me. I am really having a hard time. > > Jane Anne King > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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