Guest guest Posted January 9, 2008 Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 Dear , What an inspiration you are. The energy you're putting into your healing journey and the insights you shared -- amazing. I'm glad sharing helped you feel better. What you shared helped me. Alison ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ P wrote: Hi folks, Well, I started meeting with an Intuitive Eating specialist. It's up in Baltimore, like 80 miles from home. What I end up doing is going to my parents' house (2/3 the distance) on Sunday night with my husband & daughter, spend the night there -- Then DH goes into work on Monday from my parents' house (which is actually slightly closer to his workplace than our house is). Then my dad watches the toddler so I can go to the session. It's a lot of effort but totally worthwhile if it's going to help me finally break out of this disordered thinking that ultimately leads to disordered eating. I went to the first session yesterday (Monday) and came home feeling great. <great big snip>I can't describe how freeing it felt to have my counselor actually suggest that ice cream is a healthy food (no "in small amounts" caveat either). And to suggest that I add chips at lunchtime when I'm having a sandwich. And she didn't treat me as though I was going to run out & binge on those things just because she said that. Some parts of the healing process are painful. I do hope I can find other like-minded people to meet with. I really appreciate having you folks here online to share with, but I also wish I had some face-to-face peer support. Anyway, again, thanks for reading/listening. Actually, I already feel a bit better for having shared it. - P. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2008 Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 Awesome, ! > > Dear , > What an inspiration you are. The energy you're putting into your healing > journey and the insights you shared -- amazing. I'm glad sharing helped > you feel better. What you shared helped me. > Alison > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2008 Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 , you are so in the right 'place'. The first time I tried IE it was solo and with Geenen Roth's books. I longed for a support group and ended up giving up because I couldn't do as the books suggested. Finding this group has made all the difference for me. I find it actually more convenient in that its always 'open' and lots of sharing here of 'ways' that others have found that works for them. I can gripe, groan and 'scream' and no one here gets upset! Plus IE is accepted as THE way to go and everyone is supportive of that - no explaining or need to act like you are the odd man out. Best to you and glad to have you 'here'!! Best of all - no commute! - Katcha > > Hi folks, > > Well, I started meeting with an Intuitive Eating specialist. It's up > in Baltimore, like 80 miles from home. What I end up doing is going to > my parents' house (2/3 the distance) on Sunday night with my husband & > daughter, spend the night there -- Then DH goes into work on Monday > from my parents' house (which is actually slightly closer to his > workplace than our house is). Then my dad watches the toddler so I can > go to the session. It's a lot of effort but totally worthwhile if it's > going to help me finally break out of this disordered thinking that > ultimately leads to disordered eating. > > I went to the first session yesterday (Monday) and came home feeling > great. I do need to keep a journal for awhile, the standard Intuitive > Eating information (food eaten, time & location, hunger/fullness level > before & after eating, and thoughts/feelings). I remind myself that it > is NOT a diet. As the counselor put it, I'm collecting data on myself. > There are no judgments about the choices I am making and no " rules " > about what or how to eat. In fact, she seemed fairly impressed that I > was already well-versed in the intuitive eating philosophy. I really > feel like I am finally getting the guidance I need to help me make > some genuine lasting changes. > > I continued to feel great most of today. I am basically comfortable > with the choices I made. The only worry was that before this, I'd been > going to a particular non-profit weight-loss support group. When I was > working on Intuitive Eating on my own just using the book for > guidance, I continued to go to the group for the sake of support & > camaraderie. This group that allows each person to use their own " diet > plan, " so I thought maybe my " plan " could be whether I'm choosing to > eat intuitively. I don't always eat intuitively, but then I never > stuck perfectly to my diet plan either. And, I thought I might be able > to do " blind " weigh-ins (stand backwards on the scale so I don't know > the weight they're recording). With the holidays & all, there > coincidentally was a 2 week break with no meetings, plus I couldn't > attend the one before that due to family being in town. > > At tonight's meeting, the bubble burst. When I asked about doing a > blind weigh-in, I was told absolutely not, it's against the > organizational charter, yada yada. I really honestly don't care about > having gained a few pounds over the holidays. It is meaningless in the > face of finally resolving this lifelong struggle. So, while the > refusal of blind weigh-ins was a blow, I still thought it would be ok. > I am capable of seeing my weight each week without getting panicky > over it. > > But then through the course of the meeting the more critical issue > became clear. I no longer feel support & camaraderie from this group. > The best analogy I can make is that I feel as though I walked into the > wrong kind of church -- WAY wrong, you know what I mean? Half the > people in the room looked like they are probably AT their natural > weight. At least 3 of the women in the group have been at their " goal > weight " (through one program or another) & kept it off for years but > eventually gained back the weight. Even the current leader freely > acknowledges that it is a constant struggle for her, and she would not > be at her goal weight but for constant vigilance & mutual support from > this group. Meanwhile, everyone was talking about goals for the > upcoming months -- How much weight they're going to lose and what > foods they're going to give up and how much exercise they're going to > do... I'm thinking to myself how nuts it is that everyone there really > believed these things despite all evidence to the contrary. And even > if they get to this mythical " goal weight, " what does that provide > them except a lifetime of struggling to maintain it? I don't belong in > this group anymore. > > So, I'm going to send a message to the leader tomorrow to politely let > her know that I'm going on hiatus from the group. They are not going > to understand, and I'm going to get a lot of well-intentioned > encouragement to come back & try again. I feel particularly bad about > the friend of mine that I brought there, and now she'll still be > going, whereas I will not. But I am not willing to subject myself to > that again -- it felt so horrible, here I am trying to recover from > this unhealthy mindset & then walking into this " support " group that > was perpetuating these same awful messages. Was it only just a few > weeks ago that I considered this to be supportive? > > In retrospect, I was playing the fence for awhile. I knew that if I > were totally on my own, I wouldn't have the motivation to challenge > myself out of my comfort zone. So, even though I didn't agree with a > lot of the ideas at the group, it was better than nothing. But right > now, I just feel so alone, that there is NO ONE in this area who > understands what I am trying to do. How can I explain to anyone that > I'm trying to stop overeating various foods by allowing myself to eat > those foods? Or that I'm trying to be more active by not forcing > myself to exercise? To ultimately reduce excess weight by not weighing > myself and not dieting? > > I can't describe how freeing it felt to have my counselor actually > suggest that ice cream is a healthy food (no " in small amounts " caveat > either). And to suggest that I add chips at lunchtime when I'm having > a sandwich. And she didn't treat me as though I was going to run out & > binge on those things just because she said that. > > Some parts of the healing process are painful. I do hope I can find > other like-minded people to meet with. I really appreciate having you > folks here online to share with, but I also wish I had some > face-to-face peer support. > > Anyway, again, thanks for reading/listening. Actually, I already feel > a bit better for having shared it. > > > - P. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2008 Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 Thanks so much for your insightful post . And goody for you! Finding appropriate help and support is such a huge thing! I've been going round and round with a friend of mine about weight loss and diet programs ad naseum. We've known each other since high school, and subsequently through all of the changes that life brings. For a few years, we have both started umpteen programs together, only to quit within a month. This year, I told her I wasn't doing any dang food journals, wasn't counting any calories, wasn't setting up any food goals to meet. She asked how I expected to lose weight and I told her I didn't know, but I'm through with all that stuff. Having told her that last night, I feel way out of sorts and I've been having some binges this week at night-probably due to family stress. So I feel a little like I'm wallowing here at the bottom. Granted, I have actually stopped myself before finishing off a whole package of something, which is an improvement. Do you guys feel like there are a lot of 2 steps forward, 1 back when you get in the thick of things? I'm not beating myself up, but I do feel a little sad that I am still avoiding my emotions by eating...although I am aware as I am binging. Thanks everyone, RE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2008 Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 > Do you guys feel like there are a lot of 2 steps forward, 1 back when you get in the thick of things? I'm not beating myself up, but I do feel a little sad that I am still avoiding my emotions by eating...although I am aware as I am binging. Thanks everyone, Oh, definitely! Whether it's the urge to go on another diet or the urge to binge sometimes the weirdest things trigger it. Just hang in there. It takes time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2008 Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 You bet I do the " IE Waltz " many days I also came to think of the IE journey like a bell curve - a slowly raising gain then a huge big 'hump' followed by an easier down slope. Its that big hump to get up and over that seem insurmountable some days ;-) Katcha > > Do you guys feel like there are a lot of 2 steps forward, 1 back when you get in the thick of things? I'm not beating myself up, but I do feel a little sad that I am still avoiding my emotions by eating...although I am aware as I am binging. Thanks everyone, > RE > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 9, 2008 Report Share Posted January 9, 2008 Good job being truthful with your friend. Most people are not receptive to the idea that one can learn to eat intuitively, and it can be difficult to tell people that you've given up dieting. I think you showed a lot of courage to tell your friend the new philosophy you have embraced. Awareness is good, . It's impossible to realize that binging is damaging and unpleasant if you aren't even present in the experience. Now that you have been binging with awareness, you can be honest with yourself about how food helps you cope and you can choose to continue in that pattern or not. I think you are taking a lot more steps forward than you realize. Take care, . > > Thanks so much for your insightful post . And goody for you! Finding appropriate help and support is such a huge thing! > > I've been going round and round with a friend of mine about weight loss and diet programs ad naseum. We've known each other since high school, and subsequently through all of the changes that life brings. For a few years, we have both started umpteen programs together, only to quit within a month. This year, I told her I wasn't doing any dang food journals, wasn't counting any calories, wasn't setting up any food goals to meet. She asked how I expected to lose weight and I told her I didn't know, but I'm through with all that stuff. Having told her that last night, I feel way out of sorts and I've been having some binges this week at night-probably due to family stress. So I feel a little like I'm wallowing here at the bottom. Granted, I have actually stopped myself before finishing off a whole package of something, which is an improvement. > > Do you guys feel like there are a lot of 2 steps forward, 1 back when you get in the thick of things? I'm not beating myself up, but I do feel a little sad that I am still avoiding my emotions by eating...although I am aware as I am binging. Thanks everyone, > RE > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 22, 2008 Report Share Posted February 22, 2008 I know it's been over a month since this post has been sent but I wanted to share an experience anyway: Ellington wrote: > I've been going round and round with a friend of mine about weight loss > and diet programs ad naseum. We've known each other since high school, > and subsequently through all of the changes that life brings. For a few > years, we have both started umpteen programs together, only to quit within > a month. Not quite the same but I know a guy who I met through " wanting to lose weight " (to put it like this). Now that I'm no longer into dieting and talking about obesity all the time he seems to be feeling kind of betrayed and hurt. I don't want to talk about weight or weight loss and I'm not interested in some radical weight loss programs anymore. I realised that we really don't have much in common besides obesity. Or at least it seems so. Regards s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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