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Re: true confessions

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Aw, Ivy,

Just giving you a hug. Sometimes you do need to take a break and tune

out and sometimes it's from yourself.

Trust me, I understand your frustrations I really do. However, like

you I don't think I can go back to the alternative either.

Maybe you're stressing yourself out, too much?

Thyroid medications make weight loss very difficult, so cut yourself

some slack.

I really think the body and it's metabolic processess are more

complicated than even the experts realize. Perhaps your body is just

recalibrating and trying to heal itself.

I know that I'm THE LAST PERSON to talk, but please be patient and

positive.

I think we sometimes forget our thoughts can shape our reality to

some extent.

Take all the time you need and do what you need to do.

I'll support ya no matter what!

XXOO

>

> Before I get to that, there is one thing I want to mention so that

after my post yesterday,

> you don't get the wrong idea - I don't have iron clad rules

about 'natural' foods. Even

> though 90% of the time I avoid the chemicals and junk there are

circumstances when I eat

> it and dont' give it a thought. The main one is going out to eat.

This is something I really

> enjoy. Especially lunch. I dont' know why that is, but for me, it's

one of the little joys in

> life. Especially in the warm weather - sitting in a little table

outside, lingering over a nice

> lunch, watching the world go by. In my mind, it's bliss.

>

> If you make hard and fast rules and say 'never', it's gonna be

tough to ever get to go

> out to eat. So, if you visited my kitchen, I'd look like a whole

food fanatic - yet, you'll

> also find me other times sitting happily at a Chipotle sharing a

big ol'

> burrito bol and a coke with my husband. it works for me and I

figure it all balances out

> eventually. And if I'm wrong....whatcha gonna do? Never have any

fun? :)

>

> Anyway, that's not my confession. We all know there are many parts

to IE - legalising food

> is only one part of the process. But if you notice, it's what I

talk about the most. The

> reason is probably obvious. I've got that part down. Show me a food

and I don't have a

> problem with it. (chemicals, we know, are a different story for me,

but we already covered

> that). the problem I have is getting over that fact that this time

I am not losing.

>

> When i first started all this, years ago, I lost so easily and it

stayed off easily. I gained 50

> pounds when I had my son 7 years ago (at 41) and I didn't do

anything except what I

> always did and though it took a while, I had almost all of it off

before the (insert ominous

> music)... steroids.

>

> Nothing has been the same since then. Now nothing I do works. I

stopped gaining a

> month or so after I got off them, but no matter what I do, I don't

lose. I did gain another

> 10 pounds last year before I got on thyroid med - but even almost

four years after the

> steroids and with thyroid med, nothing changes. In fact, I get

fatter. I weigh the same, but

> I have a lot more fat. I can tell. I feel it, can see it and my

size has gone up.

>

> I don't know why it is. Why I'm not having any success at it. Am I

eating too much? Not

> enough? Eating when I'm not hungry? Not recognising the signal to

stop when I should?

> Giving myself too much 'permission' to eat?

>

> I have never said this, because I didnt' want to take a chance that

my admitting this would

> give someone else doubts - but I'm honestly getting scared that

this time it might not

> work. If it doesn't, of course I have no choice but to accept that

this is how I'm going to be

> from now on (cuz dieting doesn't work - that's a given). But I'm

not ready to accept it until

> I'm sure there is no other alternative - that I'm not just

sabotaging myself somehow and

> not recognizing it.

>

> I've thought about it quite a lot the last week or so, and the only

thing i can see to do is to

> increase my focus and turn off the 'noise' and just listen to what

is going on within myself.

> Like going on a 'retreat' but without ever getting to actually *go*

anywhere and still having

> to do laundry.

>

> I'm going to take time away from here, too, but I don't want to

get your hopes up - you

> wont' get rid of me that easily :)

>

> TTYS,

>

> Ivy

>

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Ivy,

I feel much the same. I don't take steroid meds, but I wouldn't be at

all surprised if I have more natural 'steriod' production than most

gals. I've always been 'solid' and muscular, albeit with enough

covering fat to add the round curves of being a gal. Yet all the women

in my family have the profile of a refrigerator! So this 'fireplug' of

a body may be my lot in life.

It truly is difficult to try and hold the candle of IE keeping the

faith that it will work for us. Lets face it the droning noise of the

outside world is a constant murmur of - 'failure, loose weight, stay

the same as you were at 20 etc. etc.' But we both know that none of

that is true. The final insult is that our bodies seem to 'fight' us

as well.

I know that I don't 'do' IE as I 'should', but I never lost any weight

because I 'should' either. Loosing weight for me was ALWAYS a battle -

total 'will power' and denial. Restricting and counting the minutes

until I didn't have to restrict any longer. NOT ANY MORE - no thanks.

I'd rather be what I am now and forever than a miserable, unhappy

'lighter' 20 - 30# person. And now knowing that whatever I could do to

achieve such a loss would most likely be all too quickly REVERSED,

like why do it at all??!!??

So I plod along and keep this group 'in my face' as it helps me to

continue on at the snail's pace that I am wandering along the IE path.

Hope you find what you seek on your 'sabbatical' and will miss your

input while you are gone. Take care and have FUN with your efforts too.

ehugs, Katcha

>

> Nothing has been the same since then. Now nothing I do works. I

stopped gaining a month or so after I got off them, but no matter what

I do, I don't lose. I did gain another 10 pounds last year before I

got on thyroid med - but even almost four years after the steroids and

with thyroid med, nothing changes. In fact, I get fatter. I weigh the

same, but I have a lot more fat. I can tell. I feel it, can see it and

my size has gone up.

>

> I don't know why it is. Why I'm not having any success at it. Am I

eating too much? Not enough? Eating when I'm not hungry? Not

recognising the signal to stop when I should? Giving myself too much

'permission' to eat?

>

> I have never said this, because I didnt' want to take a chance that

my admitting this would give someone else doubts - but I'm honestly

getting scared that this time it might not work. If it doesn't, of

course I have no choice but to accept that this is how I'm going to be

from now on (cuz dieting doesn't work - that's a given). But I'm not

ready to accept it until I'm sure there is no other alternative - that

I'm not just sabotaging myself somehow and not recognizing it.

>

> I've thought about it quite a lot the last week or so, and the only

thing i can see to do is to increase my focus and turn off the 'noise'

and just listen to what is going on within myself. Like going on a

'retreat' but without ever getting to actually *go* anywhere and still

having to do laundry.

>

> I'm going to take time away from here, too, but I don't want to get

your hopes up - you wont' get rid of me that easily :)

>

> TTYS,

>

> Ivy

>

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>

>.... I'm going to take time away from here, too, but I don't want to

get your hopes up - you

> wont' get rid of me that easily :)

>

> TTYS,

>

> Ivy

>

Hugs to you from the other side of the world, Ivy. Take care. We'll

try not to trash the place in your absence (take note, Press!!!).

Love

Sigi

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oh, wow, Ivy, don't you wish that laundry would take a vacation!!

Good luck going "inside" and figuring stuff out.

Alison

iv_adb wrote:

I've thought about it quite a lot the last week or so, and the

only thing i can see to do is to

increase my focus and turn off the 'noise' and just listen to what is

going on within myself.

Like going on a 'retreat' but without ever getting to actually *go*

anywhere and still having

to do laundry.

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