Re: Sometimes I don't want to stop, listen, or care.

[Guest guest]

>

> Today is one of those days. I feel sad right now, like I could cry

> over what I just did. It didn't seem like a binge as it was

> happening, but I just stood in the kitchen and looked for more and

> more food. Even if something didn't taste good, I still ate it.

>

> This morning I woke up early to take my sister to work. I wasn't

> hungry for quite a while and then I called the dentist and they

said

> they could take me in right away. I figured I'd be back really

soon

> since they said it would just be a consultation, so being that I

> wasn't really hungry and didn't have time to eat I figured I'd eat

> when I got back. I had the worst drive of my life there

(accidentally

> ran a red light - it used to be a 4 way stop and I didn't realize

it

> had changed, had to wind my way through tons of construction and

got

> lost and wound up on the wrong side of the road with a car coming

> right at me...I was lucky to get to the dentist in one piece.)

They

> wound up refilling a tooth and numbing up my mouth. Needless to

say

> that they put me into a room only to switch me into another with a

> huge spider crawling up the wall...I am the textbook definition of

an

> arachnophobic.

>

> I got home and couldn't eat because my mouth was completely numb.

I

> finally wound up having " breakfast " around 2. My mouth was still

> halfway numb so I could honestly barely taste what I was eating,

even

> though it was something I had been craving yet restricting for

quite a

> while.

>

> I exercised for 45 minutes, got really frustrated over a few other

> things, refrained from binging immediately, but then went at the

food

> full force. I didn't want to listen to any hunger/fullness

signals.

> I had quite a bit of food in one sitting, yet still not enough to

> totally fill me up beyond stuffed. I actually feel " comfortably

full "

> right now yet I've already consumed well over any " calorie limit "

and

> it's not yet even 5pm.

>

> I just hate these days. I hate when I don't care and when I can't

> even force myself to just stop for one second and think if I REALLY

> want that food or not. They are getting farther apart, and some

days

> are not as bad as others, but they're so frustrating regardless and

> even though I know they're not, they FEEL like a huge set back.

It's

> depressing.

That's okay. Everyone has a crappy day now and then. And, for me,

anything involving the dentist is bound to turn to pain. I know we

don't know eachother but I'm pretty sure you're in an andjustment

period right now. Sounds like you still have some diet behaviour

going on. Like worrying about calories and such. Have faith that

everything will work out in your favor. All you have to do right now

is love and forgive yourself.

[Guest guest]

It doesn't sound so much like a binge to me as your body trying to

make up for lost fuel? Its my understanding that if you wait too long

to eat, you will most likely overeat. Seeing how you didn't eat until

2PM, AND you exercised too, I am not surprised that you ate and ate.

But one thing you could do 'better' is to not be so hard on yourself.

You seemed aware of what was happening but you beat yourself up over

it. That can trigger more eating too. I know some people are

comforted by eating within a 'calorie limit', but I sure am not one! I

never liked the calorie counting routine to begin with and still think

its a false measurement in many ways.

I hope you can give yourself a hug and not let this one incident get

to you so much. You are a work in process - Katcha

>

> Today is one of those days. I feel sad right now, like I could cry

> over what I just did. It didn't seem like a binge as it was

> happening, but I just stood in the kitchen and looked for more and

> more food. Even if something didn't taste good, I still ate it.

>

> This morning I woke up early to take my sister to work. I wasn't

> hungry for quite a while and then I called the dentist and they said

> they could take me in right away. I figured I'd be back really soon

> since they said it would just be a consultation, so being that I

> wasn't really hungry and didn't have time to eat I figured I'd eat

> when I got back. I had the worst drive of my life there (accidentally

> ran a red light - it used to be a 4 way stop and I didn't realize it

> had changed, had to wind my way through tons of construction and got

> lost and wound up on the wrong side of the road with a car coming

> right at me...I was lucky to get to the dentist in one piece.) They

> wound up refilling a tooth and numbing up my mouth. Needless to say

> that they put me into a room only to switch me into another with a

> huge spider crawling up the wall...I am the textbook definition of an

> arachnophobic.

>

> I got home and couldn't eat because my mouth was completely numb. I

> finally wound up having " breakfast " around 2. My mouth was still

> halfway numb so I could honestly barely taste what I was eating, even

> though it was something I had been craving yet restricting for quite a

> while.

>

> I exercised for 45 minutes, got really frustrated over a few other

> things, refrained from binging immediately, but then went at the food

> full force. I didn't want to listen to any hunger/fullness signals.

> I had quite a bit of food in one sitting, yet still not enough to

> totally fill me up beyond stuffed. I actually feel " comfortably full "

> right now yet I've already consumed well over any " calorie limit " and

> it's not yet even 5pm.

>

> I just hate these days. I hate when I don't care and when I can't

> even force myself to just stop for one second and think if I REALLY

> want that food or not. They are getting farther apart, and some days

> are not as bad as others, but they're so frustrating regardless and

> even though I know they're not, they FEEL like a huge set back. It's

> depressing.

>

[Guest guest]

You are very right, I am entirely too hard on myself and that never

helps! I overeat, then punish myself by eating more!

I think the calorie counting thing for me is a way to have it in plain

view as to whether I did well or did something right. Not that

staying within a calorie limit makes me good or bad or is right or

wrong, but I feel like I view my progress away from numbers. It's so

awful, I've tried so hard to stop and I get drawn back. I've found

myself trying to stay within " weight loss " limits now because I am too

impatient to learn how to listen to my body and am relying on

restriction methods to get the weight back down. I hate it. I'm

trying not to be too strict with it, but it always winds up backfiring

on me.

Something else I just thought of was the fact that yesterday I ate

breakfast, exercised, and worked a 6 hour shift at work and forgot to

bring food with me! I was hungry an hour after I got to work, went

grocery shopping with my mom afterwards, came home, unloaded the

groceries and then made dinner. THEN I ate. Amazingly enough, I

didn't overeat yesterday but my main source of fuel at the end of the

day was candy and ice cream. Not being judgmental about it, but I'm

sure I was set up for more cravings today due to my lack of real fuel

that I put in my body yesterday. Then on top of emotional spikes

throughout the day I just didn't feel like dealing with it.

I feel like my posts here are so repetitive, but it feels better to

let it out and it's always nice to have some encouragement. Thank you!

>

> It doesn't sound so much like a binge to me as your body trying to

> make up for lost fuel? Its my understanding that if you wait too long

> to eat, you will most likely overeat. Seeing how you didn't eat until

> 2PM, AND you exercised too, I am not surprised that you ate and ate.

>

> But one thing you could do 'better' is to not be so hard on yourself.

> You seemed aware of what was happening but you beat yourself up over

> it. That can trigger more eating too. I know some people are

> comforted by eating within a 'calorie limit', but I sure am not one! I

> never liked the calorie counting routine to begin with and still think

> its a false measurement in many ways.

>

> I hope you can give yourself a hug and not let this one incident get

> to you so much. You are a work in process - Katcha

[Guest guest]

OOPS! Meant to say that I feel as though I CAN'T view my progress

away from numbers!

> >

> > It doesn't sound so much like a binge to me as your body trying to

> > make up for lost fuel? Its my understanding that if you wait too long

> > to eat, you will most likely overeat. Seeing how you didn't eat until

> > 2PM, AND you exercised too, I am not surprised that you ate and ate.

> >

> > But one thing you could do 'better' is to not be so hard on yourself.

> > You seemed aware of what was happening but you beat yourself up over

> > it. That can trigger more eating too. I know some people are

> > comforted by eating within a 'calorie limit', but I sure am not one! I

> > never liked the calorie counting routine to begin with and still think

> > its a false measurement in many ways.

> >

> > I hope you can give yourself a hug and not let this one incident get

> > to you so much. You are a work in process - Katcha

>

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry you feel so sad - it's too bad you didn't get some good food in your belly this morning. No wonder you were so hungry! And it sounds like you had a lousy day to boot. Give yourself a huge break!

-- Sometimes I don't want to stop, listen, or care.

Today is one of those days. I feel sad right now, like I could cryover what I just did. It didn't seem like a binge as it washappening, but I just stood in the kitchen and looked for more andmore food. Even if something didn't taste good, I still ate it.This morning I woke up early to take my sister to work. I wasn'thungry for quite a while and then I called the dentist and they saidthey could take me in right away. I figured I'd be back really soonsince they said it would just be a consultation, so being that Iwasn't really hungry and didn't have time to eat I figured I'd eatwhen I got back. I had the worst drive of my life there (accidentallyran a red light - it used to be a 4 way stop and I didn't realize ithad changed, had to wind my way through tons of construction and gotlost and wound up on the wrong side of the road with a car comingright at me...I was lucky to get to the dentist in one piece.) Theywound up refilling a tooth and numbing up my mouth. Needless to saythat they put me into a room only to switch me into another with ahuge spider crawling up the wall...I am the textbook definition of anarachnophobic. I got home and couldn't eat because my mouth was completely numb. Ifinally wound up having "breakfast" around 2. My mouth was stillhalfway numb so I could honestly barely taste what I was eating, eventhough it was something I had been craving yet restricting for quite awhile. I exercised for 45 minutes, got really frustrated over a few otherthings, refrained from binging immediately, but then went at the foodfull force. I didn't want to listen to any hunger/fullness signals. I had quite a bit of food in one sitting, yet still not enough tototally fill me up beyond stuffed. I actually feel "comfortably full"right now yet I've already consumed well over any "calorie limit" andit's not yet even 5pm. I just hate these days. I hate when I don't care and when I can'teven force myself to just stop for one second and think if I REALLYwant that food or not. They are getting farther apart, and some daysare not as bad as others, but they're so frustrating regardless andeven though I know they're not, they FEEL like a huge set back. It'sdepressing.

[Guest guest]

big virtual hugs to you. I hope you're feeling better!

>

> Today is one of those days. I feel sad right now, like I could cry

> over what I just did. It didn't seem like a binge as it was

> happening, but I just stood in the kitchen and looked for more and

> more food. Even if something didn't taste good, I still ate it.

>

>

[Guest guest]

abouttwodays wrote:

> Today is one of those days. I feel sad right now, like I could cry

> over what I just did. It didn't seem like a binge as it was

> happening, but I just stood in the kitchen and looked for more and

> more food.

[...]

> I just hate these days. I hate when I don't care and when I can't

> even force myself to just stop for one second and think if I REALLY

> want that food or not. They are getting farther apart, and some days

> are not as bad as others, but they're so frustrating regardless and

> even though I know they're not, they FEEL like a huge set back. It's

> depressing.

I'm having one of these evenings right now. It feels horrible and the

worst of all is the fear of weight gain. Not from this one evening - but

from all these evenings that might follow this one. :-/

I need to collect more experiences like " so I screwed up one evening but

the following day was ok again " . Maybe then I could relax a bit about

evenings like this one. Or maybe this fear will continue to be there,

who knows.

I just don't want to care tonight, I don't want to ask myself " why do I

want this food even though I'm not hungry anymore " tonight. Yes, I know

there is something going on, but whatever it might be (guess it's the

usual thoughts going on), I don't want to deal with it tonight. From

time to time it gets on my nerve this " I prefer to sit with these

thoughts and feelings " , like tonight. Because I don't really prefer it.

I want them to be GONE, but I know nothing that might make them go away.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

abouttwodays wrote:

> I've found

> myself trying to stay within " weight loss " limits now because I am too

> impatient to learn how to listen to my body and am relying on

> restriction methods to get the weight back down. I hate it.

I find myself struggling with the diet demons again since I started

losing weight.

That people start to notice my weight loss doesn't make it any easier.

Luckily it's only people who haven't seen me in a while who comment.

People I see everyday either don't notice or don't seem to care or

simply don't comment. I like that.

Weight loss is still my main goal if I'm being honest. I noticed it when

I actually started losing weight.

I don't know if it's the same that makes you struggle but I feel that

the focus on weight loss is a big problem.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

Ya know what I love about IE? Is that we have a choice. We can choose to "not care". We can choose to not try and figure out what is really going on. We can choose to just be. It is ok. Tomorrow will be another day, and if you feel like it, you can work a bit more at trying to figure things out. We need to stop beating ourselves up because we are not doing all of this perfectly. Besides, what is doing it perfectly? It's all what is in our warped minds of what "perfect:" should be. Just be! We will all still love you tomorrow and you should love yourself tomorrow as well. You are not a failure because you didn't figure out what is going on. My favorite saying - "It is what it is".

--Alana

-------------- Original message -------------- From: styxia@...

abouttwodays <abouttwodays> wrote:> Today is one of those days. I feel sad right now, like I could cry> over what I just did. It didn't seem like a binge as it was> happening, but I just stood in the kitchen and looked for more and> more food. [...]> I just hate these days. I hate when I don't care and when I can't> even force myself to just stop for one second and think if I REALLY> want that food or not. They are getting farther apart, and some days> are not as bad as others, but they're so frustrating regardless and> even though I know they're not, they FEEL like a huge set back. It's> depressing.I'm having one of these evenings right now. It feels horrible and theworst of all is the fear of weight gain. Not from this one evening - butfrom all these evenings that might follow this one. :-/I need to collect mor

e experiences like "so I screwed up one evening butthe following day was ok again". Maybe then I could relax a bit aboutevenings like this one. Or maybe this fear will continue to be there,who knows.I just don't want to care tonight, I don't want to ask myself "why do Iwant this food even though I'm not hungry anymore" tonight. Yes, I knowthere is something going on, but whatever it might be (guess it's theusual thoughts going on), I don't want to deal with it tonight. Fromtime to time it gets on my nerve this "I prefer to sit with thesethoughts and feelings", like tonight. Because I don't really prefer it.I want them to be GONE, but I know nothing that might make them go away.Regardss.

[Guest guest]

I totally agree with Alana! IE gives us so

much freedom. An occasionally I have these times that I don’t care. Most

of the time I find now that as much as I want to overeat, I can’t, but

that’s been a long time coming. But when I do overeat, I just let it

happen. I know that one time isn’t going to make much difference, and if

I don’t worry about it, chances are I won’t eat again until the

next time I am physically hungry, which could be a while after eating a lot of

food. I trust my body to work it all out and compensate for the overeating. I

think this works pretty well when it happens once in a while, I don’t

gain weight. Trust is a huge issue, I know, but you’ll get there!

Thanks!

Gillian

Gillian

Hood-son, MS, ACSM

Get your report, " The 6 Steps to

Guilt-Free Eating " by visiting http://www.HealthierOutcomes.com

Check out our upcoming Am I Hungry? seminars

beginning March 6th and April 1st: http://www.BreakOutofDietPrison.com

From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of ajslinton@...

Sent: Wednesday, February 27, 2008

10:22 AM

To: IntuitiveEating_Support

Subject: Re:

Sometimes I don't want to stop, listen, or care.

Ya know what I love about IE? Is that we have a choice. We

can choose to " not care " . We can choose to not try and figure

out what is really going on. We can choose to just be. It is

ok. Tomorrow will be another day, and if you feel like it, you can work a

bit more at trying to figure things out. We need to stop beating

ourselves up because we are not doing all of this perfectly. Besides,

what is doing it perfectly? It's all what is in our warped minds of what

" perfect: " should be. Just be! We will all still love you

tomorrow and you should love yourself tomorrow as well. You are not a

failure because you didn't figure out what is going on. My favorite saying -

" It is what it is " .

--

Alana

-------------- Original message --------------

From: styxia@...

abouttwodays

<abouttwodays>

wrote:

> Today is one of those days. I feel sad right now, like I could cry

> over what I just did. It didn't seem like a binge as it was

> happening, but I just stood in the kitchen and looked for more and

> more food.

[...]

> I just hate these days. I hate when I don't care and when I can't

> even force myself to just stop for one second and think if I REALLY

> want that food or not. They are getting farther apart, and some days

> are not as bad as others, but they're so frustrating regardless and

> even though I know they're not, they FEEL like a huge set back. It's

> depressing.

I'm having one of these evenings right now. It feels horrible and the

worst of all is the fear of weight gain. Not from this one evening - but

from all these evenings that might follow this one. :-/

I need to collect mor e experiences like " so I screwed up one evening but

the following day was ok again " . Maybe then I could relax a bit about

evenings like this one. Or maybe this fear will continue to be there,

who knows.

I just don't want to care tonight, I don't want to ask myself " why do I

want this food even though I'm not hungry anymore " tonight. Yes, I know

there is something going on, but whatever it might be (guess it's the

usual thoughts going on), I don't want to deal with it tonight. From

time to time it gets on my nerve this " I prefer to sit with these

thoughts and feelings " , like tonight. Because I don't really prefer it.

I want them to be GONE, but I know nothing that might make them go away.

Regards

s.

[Guest guest]

s, reframing how we look at our emotions, our lives, is so much a part

of the inner process we do when we delve into IE. Maybe there's a way

for you to reframe.

I find I need to do this constantly, when some old behavior/reactions

pops up for me. I don't always catch it, but when I do it's always an

ah-ha moment.

don't know if these words are good for you, s. hope so. I guess I needed

to 'say' them for myself this morning as I'm going through this process.

okay, can you say 'projection?' !!!!!

Alison

styxia@... wrote:

>Weight loss is still my main goal if I'm being honest. I noticed it when

>I actually started losing weight.

>

>I don't know if it's the same that makes you struggle but I feel that

>the focus on weight loss is a big problem.

>

>Regards

>s.

>

>