Re: Hugs for Press

[Guest guest]

> Hey Press, sorry you seem to be going through a rough patch at the > moment. Hugs: [[[[[[[[[[Press]]]]]]]]]]]]

Aw! Hugs back to you, too! Thank you!

> Can I just ask - exactly why DO you visit those fitness sites and > read the mags? (BTW, I agree it would be a *really* good idea to > take a break from them.) What are you searching for in them? More > clues on how to achieve the so-called "perfect" body (which may be > unrealistic for a large percentage of the population, based on > genetics alone - maybe even for you too)? For more exercise ideas? > (I suspect you know a HELL of a lot about lifting techniques and > exercises, etc, already - more than enough to achieve a level of > fitness that could make you feel powerful and fabulous, if you let > yourself.) Or are you looking for a magic bullet that will somehow > transform you - kind of like the way I homed in on the diet/fitness > section of every damn bookshop I ever visited in the previous 20 > years. Always looking for "the answer". Not figuring out that my > question was wrong in the first place.

I think the answer is all of the above. Sigi, you call ME insightful! You've nailed all of the reasons I keep visiting those sites.

The pictures and posts of the people who are trying to compete don't bother me--you know the "pros". It's the ones of the regular janes who "through measuring, hard work and mental toughness" transformed their bodies and now everyone is jealous of them and they are adored and life is fabulous.

Now, you know I read that and go "Sad. Why not improve yourself some other way?" Then what do I do? I'm a total hypocrite.

I can't help but think "I'm doing something wrong. This isn't fair". You know there are waaaaay more important injustices going on than not having a perfect body. I know this, yet again? It's illogical.

It makes me sad that I'm so "shallow".

Now with the "obesity crisis" and the constant barrage of messages that what you eat is going to make you sick and cost the medical industry thousands of dollars treating your ass drives me even crazier!> > You're a bright, insightful woman and you've already identified the > flaws and deception in the fitness industry. Maybe it's time to get > mad with *them* for having the gall to tell you you're not good > enough the way you are. Use your grrrrrlpower to fight back! *They* > are the "ugly" ones. And from what I know of you from my experience > of the last half year here on IE Support: YOU. ARE. GORGEOUS.

Aw! So are you! I always look for your posts, they rock! Thanks again for the wake up call.

XXoo> > So ner.> > Lots of love> Sigi>

[Guest guest]

> The pictures and posts of the people who are trying to compete don't

> bother me--you know the " pros " . It's the ones of the regular janes

who

> " through measuring, hard work and mental toughness " transformed

their

> bodies and now everyone is jealous of them and they are adored and

life

> is fabulous.

Hmmm ... is others' jealousy such a great achievement to aspire to?

Maybe time for a rethink. ;-) And I'm not sure that being adored

for something as superficial as (temporarily) having " the right " look

is worth much either. Life is fabulous? Now *there's* a massive

conclusion to jump to, honey. For all you or I know, their lives may

be a miserable crap-heap of compulsive exercising, obsessive

dieting/restriction, and fighting their true desires every hour of

their lives. For what? What have they actually *achieved*? Isn't

it just fear - fear of not being good enough, admired enough, loved

enough ... fear of returning to the " imperfect " people they were if

they dare to relax? Who knows what is really going on in their heads.

> Now, you know I read that and go " Sad. Why not improve yourself some

> other way? " Then what do I do? I'm a total hypocrite.

Your're not a hypocrite. It's really, really difficult to get over

disordered thinking about body image when we are bombarded with these

false concepts from every corner of our Western culture over our

entire lives. Many of us struggle with it for decades. Some, sadly,

will never get past it - but I think you have a strong chance!

> Now with the " obesity crisis " and the constant barrage of messages

that

> what you eat is going to make you sick and cost the medical industry

> thousands of dollars treating your ass drives me even crazier!

Obesity crisis, obesity schmisis! Can I recommend to you some

alternative surfing material for a while? Try body acceptance blogs

like kateharding.net which examine and critique media portrayals of

women's issues, body image, size acceptance and many other topics in

a fearless, kick-arse but very entertaining way (with a bit of fun

and fluff thrown in now and again). The regular contributors and

commenters are so fierce and intelligent and articulate. I've found

it a real haven of sanity in an image-obsessed world. (I think I

posted a link to Kate's article, The Fantasy of Being Thin, a while

back.)

It takes time, but I think immersing yourself for a while in a bit of

the body positivism universe out there, rather than body perfection

universe, may eventually lead you to the point where you won't find

yourself sucked into that vortex any more.

I wish you well, babe. Stay with us, keep posting.

Lots of love

Sigi

PS - always been meaning to ask, sweetie - can you actually press

182??? wow.

[Guest guest]

LOL! No I can't lift 182 pounds! I'm still considered a lightweight

in the strength department, but that takes time. Plus, I have limited

equipment at home.

Heh, you sound like my husband. " So what? " " What did they

achieve? " " People just grab on to the stupidest sh*t to make

themselves feel bigger " .

I've read some of the body acceptance blogs and they really didn't

help. They just made things worse. To be dead honest, I couldn't wrap

my head around it. Just couldn't. I think because I don't " buy it "

for myself? If that makes sense.

Example: Yesterday I felt like making Oatmeal cookies. I feel guilty

that I did. I put a ban on baking, which I love to do, because of

the lifting program I " m on. I felt like I needed to limit that stuff

or I won't see results.

I make a mean homemade pizza. I made that last night and watched the

NFL play off games and I ate 2 more pieces than I should and felt

guilty.

I just feel like I have a responsibility to eat only healthy food.

I feel like I should only eat healthy stuff and a " treat " once a

year. That's it.

It's getting worse. I don't get it.

I feel like I have to get my body the way I want it before I can move

on in other aspects of my life. I feel so freaking trapped.

>

>

> > The pictures and posts of the people who are trying to compete

don't

> > bother me--you know the " pros " . It's the ones of the regular

janes

> who

> > " through measuring, hard work and mental toughness " transformed

> their

> > bodies and now everyone is jealous of them and they are adored

and

> life

> > is fabulous.

>

> Hmmm ... is others' jealousy such a great achievement to aspire

to?

> Maybe time for a rethink. ;-) And I'm not sure that being adored

> for something as superficial as (temporarily) having " the right "

look

> is worth much either. Life is fabulous? Now *there's* a massive

> conclusion to jump to, honey. For all you or I know, their lives

may

> be a miserable crap-heap of compulsive exercising, obsessive

> dieting/restriction, and fighting their true desires every hour of

> their lives. For what? What have they actually *achieved*? Isn't

> it just fear - fear of not being good enough, admired enough, loved

> enough ... fear of returning to the " imperfect " people they were if

> they dare to relax? Who knows what is really going on in their

heads.

>

>

> > Now, you know I read that and go " Sad. Why not improve yourself

some

> > other way? " Then what do I do? I'm a total hypocrite.

>

> Your're not a hypocrite. It's really, really difficult to get over

> disordered thinking about body image when we are bombarded with

these

> false concepts from every corner of our Western culture over our

> entire lives. Many of us struggle with it for decades. Some,

sadly,

> will never get past it - but I think you have a strong chance!

>

>

> > Now with the " obesity crisis " and the constant barrage of

messages

> that

> > what you eat is going to make you sick and cost the medical

industry

> > thousands of dollars treating your ass drives me even crazier!

>

> Obesity crisis, obesity schmisis! Can I recommend to you some

> alternative surfing material for a while? Try body acceptance

blogs

> like kateharding.net which examine and critique media portrayals of

> women's issues, body image, size acceptance and many other topics

in

> a fearless, kick-arse but very entertaining way (with a bit of fun

> and fluff thrown in now and again). The regular contributors and

> commenters are so fierce and intelligent and articulate. I've

found

> it a real haven of sanity in an image-obsessed world. (I think I

> posted a link to Kate's article, The Fantasy of Being Thin, a while

> back.)

>

> It takes time, but I think immersing yourself for a while in a bit

of

> the body positivism universe out there, rather than body perfection

> universe, may eventually lead you to the point where you won't find

> yourself sucked into that vortex any more.

>

> I wish you well, babe. Stay with us, keep posting.

>

> Lots of love

> Sigi

>

> PS - always been meaning to ask, sweetie - can you actually press

> 182??? wow.

>

[Guest guest]

>

..... I felt like I needed to limit that stuff

> or I won't see results.

> I make a mean homemade pizza. I made that last night and watched

the

> NFL play off games and I ate 2 more pieces than I should and felt

> guilty.

>

> I just feel like I have a responsibility to eat only healthy food.

> I feel like I should only eat healthy stuff and a " treat " once a

> year. That's it.

> It's getting worse. I don't get it.

This is sounding very far from intuitive, isn't it. {{{{{Press}}}}}

I really don't know what to advise. A re-read of some of the main

books (like OO, IE, etc)? I guess basically you really have to

decide for yourself if you're giving up dieting or not. Maybe you're

not ready to give up just yet, it might take some other catalyst to

get to you the point where you really want to commit to changing your

life, eating intuitively and ditching the diets. (Me, I had my big

F*** IT! moment mid last year, so hey, it only took me a few

*decades* to come to that decision ... <g>).

I wonder if one on one counselling is of interest (never done it

myself, I have to admit). Gillian, any suggestions?

I believe the bad times and feelings will pass; it seems to come and

go in waves for many of us. Hang in there, honey.

Love

S

[Guest guest]

Press, I've been away a few days, long holiday

weekend and such, so I'm just now catching up

on your posts. Like you, I'm a heavy-duty

strength-training person. My upper-body strength

is nothing to brag about, but my lower body

is " freakish " for a female - I routinely leg

press 650. BUT... I'm not strength-training

because I think it's going to make me lose

weight, or because I might land on the cover of

Oxygen some day if I only try hard enough and

do everything right in my diet. I do it because

it makes ME feel strong. Because it makes ME

feel healthy and powerful. I used to get Oxygen

magazine, too, but I frankly just found it too

weird to continue reading it. It's that " all

or nothing " mentality. Do this, not that, eat

this, not that, avoid this at all costs, you

MUST do this and this and this. STOP! Why

do we have to make every darned thing in life

a competition? And why do we have to make every

darned thing a DIET?!!

In my humble opinion, you're flirting with turning

exercise and strength training into just another

form of a diet. Do you seriously believe if you

strength train routinely and ALSO eat a doughnut

that it nullifies your strength training, that you

won't see results because of that? Hell, I strength

train SO I CAN EAT a doughnut now and then!! LOL!!

Those folks in Oxygen have traded life for strength

training. We have one woman at the gym I go to who

belongs on the cover of Oxygen - but she works out

2 to 3 times a day, for 2 hours at a time. And only

eats " clean. " She has traded her life for her body.

Her entire existence is dominated by Gym Rules and

Clean Eating Rules. Is that what you want? Not me,

no thanks. I'm going to the gym tonight, I'm going

to work my ass off for an hour and a half.... and

then I'm going home to stand in front of my refrigerator

and ask myself, " Body, what do you want and need right

now? " And I will honor what it tells me. Even if

the answer is, " A brownie would just totally hit the

spot right now! " Now, granted, normally after working

out that hard my body suggests something healthy - a

protein veggie combination, usually. But the point is

I listen to what my BODY is saying, not to what the

world is telling me I " should " want at that moment.

That's the whole point of Intuitive Eating, after all.

To tune out the voices of Oxygen magazine, or Fitness

websites, or Weight Watchers commercials, or even the

guy next to you at the gym. To tune in yourself. And

listen until the only voice you hear anymore is your

own.

Your own body wants you to be healthy and it knows how

to get you there. Honor that.

[Guest guest]

Good one gym!

[Guest guest]

Sigi,

I've been wondering some of the same things you mentioned in your

post.

I've toyed with the idea of one on one counseling. I tried it in

college (you know the free stuff with a doctoral candidate) and it

was a total nightmare.

I'd probably need a more cognitive approach because " talky-talky "

really gets " boring-boring " sometimes. LOL!

It's strange as I don't want to spend my whole life measuring food,

calculating calories and macros and not eating what I want to eat and

having " bad foods " lists. However, on the other hand is it so bad to

ban cookies, or junk food or what have you?

I feel like I'm being brainwashed by both sides, to be honest.

Though I read a link to a blog from Shapely Prose and it mentioned

how what someone eats is no one else's business and not something to

make judgement calls on. You know in theory I agree.

I just can't practice it.

I used to be one of those " smug cart viewing whores " at the

supermarket. You know, the one YOU KNOW is eyeballing your cart and

making judgements? I was so proud of my cart full of fruit, veggies,

lean meat, low fat this, whole grain that.

I would sneer at the cart full of " processed junk " in front of me.

Wanna know the funny part? Which one of us do you think was bent over

the sink crying and eating a whole jar of peanut butter?

Even funnier? Not that it matters, but guess which one was thinner?

> >

> .... I felt like I needed to limit that stuff

> > or I won't see results.

> > I make a mean homemade pizza. I made that last night and watched

> the

> > NFL play off games and I ate 2 more pieces than I should and felt

> > guilty.

> >

> > I just feel like I have a responsibility to eat only healthy

food.

> > I feel like I should only eat healthy stuff and a " treat " once a

> > year. That's it.

> > It's getting worse. I don't get it.

>

>

> This is sounding very far from intuitive, isn't it. {{{{{Press}}}}}

>

> I really don't know what to advise. A re-read of some of the main

> books (like OO, IE, etc)? I guess basically you really have to

> decide for yourself if you're giving up dieting or not. Maybe

you're

> not ready to give up just yet, it might take some other catalyst to

> get to you the point where you really want to commit to changing

your

> life, eating intuitively and ditching the diets. (Me, I had my big

> F*** IT! moment mid last year, so hey, it only took me a few

> *decades* to come to that decision ... <g>).

>

> I wonder if one on one counselling is of interest (never done it

> myself, I have to admit). Gillian, any suggestions?

>

> I believe the bad times and feelings will pass; it seems to come

and

> go in waves for many of us. Hang in there, honey.

>

> Love

> S

>

[Guest guest]

Gym,

Thanks for this. I was very tentative to do " New Rules of Lifting for

Women " or any gym style/heavy weight work because I knew the food

issues, body image issues and self flagellation would occur.

Know what I mean?

Then if I do something other than the accepted wisdom of the fitness

industry..circuits, The Firm, my Crawford tapes, I feel like

I'm not doing all I can be doing or I'm doing something wrong.

One fitness board keeps posting pictures of this 86 year old

bodybuilder who started at 70. They all gush and what not, " How

inspiring " . I guess it's inspiring to be fit at that age, but what if

she didn't have the body to go along with it? Would they all still be

gushing? Maybe it's that woman's genetics? Maybe she takes 'roids,

who knows.

Then I feel guilty because I dont' always want to lift heavy and I

don't want exercise to be the focus of my life.

I don't even honor my body or exercise intuitively! What if a

situation arose where I can't lift heavy?

I admire you. I wish I could just do that. I used to be like that. I

would do what I wanted to and not give a crap about what others were

doing.

I'm just a big old mess right now--to say it mildly.

>

> Press, I've been away a few days, long holiday

> weekend and such, so I'm just now catching up

> on your posts. Like you, I'm a heavy-duty

> strength-training person. My upper-body strength

> is nothing to brag about, but my lower body

> is " freakish " for a female - I routinely leg

> press 650. BUT... I'm not strength-training

> because I think it's going to make me lose

> weight, or because I might land on the cover of

> Oxygen some day if I only try hard enough and

> do everything right in my diet. I do it because

> it makes ME feel strong. Because it makes ME

> feel healthy and powerful. I used to get Oxygen

> magazine, too, but I frankly just found it too

> weird to continue reading it. It's that " all

> or nothing " mentality. Do this, not that, eat

> this, not that, avoid this at all costs, you

> MUST do this and this and this. STOP! Why

> do we have to make every darned thing in life

> a competition? And why do we have to make every

> darned thing a DIET?!!

>

> In my humble opinion, you're flirting with turning

> exercise and strength training into just another

> form of a diet. Do you seriously believe if you

> strength train routinely and ALSO eat a doughnut

> that it nullifies your strength training, that you

> won't see results because of that? Hell, I strength

> train SO I CAN EAT a doughnut now and then!! LOL!!

> Those folks in Oxygen have traded life for strength

> training. We have one woman at the gym I go to who

> belongs on the cover of Oxygen - but she works out

> 2 to 3 times a day, for 2 hours at a time. And only

> eats " clean. " She has traded her life for her body.

> Her entire existence is dominated by Gym Rules and

> Clean Eating Rules. Is that what you want? Not me,

> no thanks. I'm going to the gym tonight, I'm going

> to work my ass off for an hour and a half.... and

> then I'm going home to stand in front of my refrigerator

> and ask myself, " Body, what do you want and need right

> now? " And I will honor what it tells me. Even if

> the answer is, " A brownie would just totally hit the

> spot right now! " Now, granted, normally after working

> out that hard my body suggests something healthy - a

> protein veggie combination, usually. But the point is

> I listen to what my BODY is saying, not to what the

> world is telling me I " should " want at that moment.

>

> That's the whole point of Intuitive Eating, after all.

> To tune out the voices of Oxygen magazine, or Fitness

> websites, or Weight Watchers commercials, or even the

> guy next to you at the gym. To tune in yourself. And

> listen until the only voice you hear anymore is your

> own.

>

>

> Your own body wants you to be healthy and it knows how

> to get you there. Honor that.

>

[Guest guest]

Press, if you're doing ANYTHING physical -

ANYTHING - you are not " doing something

wrong. " I read a great statistic the other

day - it said 85% of Americans report that

they do something physical most days of the

week - but studies show that in reality, less

than 15% of Americans actually DO. YIKES!

So, Press, if you do ANYTHING physical at

all, it's still more than 85% of the people

around you do. Remember that old saying,

" Do not compare yourself to others, for always

there will be greater and lesser than yourself. "

Work Your Own Program. As for reading all those

" success stories " and such, well read away, but

then use that wonderful Southern euphemism we

have down this way and just say, " Well, bless

her heart! " about the woman's " success " and move

on to working your own program, whatever it may

be. The great myth of our day and age is that

what counts is how we stack up to everyone around

us. How sadly shallow. What counts is the

measure of kindness I extend to others and to

MY SELF.

I've got an exercise for you, Press. The next 10

times you go to the gym, walk up to someone -

ANYONE - and compliment them on their workout or

their body, or whatever. And purposely walk up

to some folks who are BUILT. Watch what happens.

(I know, 'cause I've done this). I can guarantee

you, without exception, every single person you

compliment will downplay the compliment, or proceed

to tell you what is wrong with their body, or flat

out deny that anything is right. It is the Universal

Condition of our times. And a sad one at that. But

what this exercise does for you is remind you that

EVERYONE thinks like this - it isn't just you. Will

your thinking that you are pathetic or weak-willed

or imperfect END magically when you lose XX pounds

and look like a cover model? Not likely. We all

have the same mental illness when it comes to this

issue.

So work your own program, whatever it settles down to

be, and quit comparing yourself to mythical figures

of perfection - they all worry about the same things.

[Guest guest]

>

!

> So, Press, if you do ANYTHING physical at

> all, it's still more than 85% of the people

> around you do. Remember that old saying,

> " Do not compare yourself to others, for always

> there will be greater and lesser than yourself. "

You're right. I know this is my problem. I have to start living MY

life MY way and stop comparing myself to others be it over weight,

money etc.

The great myth of our day and age is that

> what counts is how we stack up to everyone around

> us. How sadly shallow. What counts is the

> measure of kindness I extend to others and to

> MY SELF.

Okay, I think I need to copy that and re-read it every day.

I agree. Our society encourages " keeping up with the es " and

competition. If we choose NOT to buy into it, then we're weak or lazy.

> So work your own program, whatever it settles down to

> be, and quit comparing yourself to mythical figures

> of perfection - they all worry about the same things.

>

Thank you for this and everything else you've said. You're right.

[Guest guest]

..... It's strange as I don't want to spend my whole life measuring

food,

> calculating calories and macros and not eating what I want to eat and

> having " bad foods " lists. However, on the other hand is it so bad to

> ban cookies, or junk food or what have you?

It's not " bad " - or more to the point, you're not " bad " , for banning

cookies or junk food. But I believe that very act of

banning/restriction is exactly what causes the inner conflict in the

first place (and ultimate rebellion), and leads to the extreme eating

beliefs and behaviours that many of us have.

...... Wanna know the funny part? Which one of us do you think was bent

over

> the sink crying and eating a whole jar of peanut butter?

That'll be that inner conflict and corresponding rebellious act raising

its head, then, huh? ;-) I did it too, when I was " being good " - all

that public show of smug superiority and judgmental glances and

thoughts. No wonder I hated myself when I subsequently binged on all

those " inferior " foods I had been virtuously resisting.

I find it helpful to challenge myself when I have those judgmental

thoughts about others - their appearances, their eating habits. I do

it way too often - it takes a lot of self-challenging! The thoughts

and inner comments just seem to spring from nowhere, and I don't like

them. I don't want others to judge me that way, so I have to work hard

on reminding myself that it's not my business to judge others that way

either.

Hugs

S

PS - everything that Gym said - right on!!

[Guest guest]

....and here's another hug for you, Press. I know exactly where

you're coming from. I glanced through the posts in this thread and

so many points hit home. It all makes me a bit sad. I too compare

myself to everyone. For example, while I'm a normal healthy weight

all the people where I work are currently doing a fitness challenge

(basically using weight watchers to lose and having a competition to

see which team loses the most) and I feel guilty because they are

dieting and I am not.

And about the exercise....if I skip a day I feel guilty about that

too. I think much of the problem is that I base my self worth in

my looks. Probably much of it is due to not finishing college and

staying home with my kids for 8 years. Regardless, who really gives

a rip about my looks or anyone elses for that matter? We glance at

people and get on with what we're doing, right?

And the eating clean bit...I can't seem to get past this with IE.

Even if I were to try and legalize junk foods to myself to resist

the dieting mentality, the health aspect comes into mind and it's

even harder to go against that. After reading so many fitness and

healthy magazines I can't erase what I know about certain foods

being bad for your body. Not to mention that I recently had some

precancerous cells found in a PAP smear that I have to get rechecked

for in 2 months- how can I feel good about eating bologna or

something and have that on my mind? sigh.

> >

> !

> > So, Press, if you do ANYTHING physical at

> > all, it's still more than 85% of the people

> > around you do. Remember that old saying,

> > " Do not compare yourself to others, for always

> > there will be greater and lesser than yourself. "

>

> You're right. I know this is my problem. I have to start living

MY

> life MY way and stop comparing myself to others be it over weight,

> money etc.

>

> The great myth of our day and age is that

> > what counts is how we stack up to everyone around

> > us. How sadly shallow. What counts is the

> > measure of kindness I extend to others and to

> > MY SELF.

>

> Okay, I think I need to copy that and re-read it every day.

> I agree. Our society encourages " keeping up with the es " and

> competition. If we choose NOT to buy into it, then we're weak or

lazy.

>

>

> > So work your own program, whatever it settles down to

> > be, and quit comparing yourself to mythical figures

> > of perfection - they all worry about the same things.

> >

> Thank you for this and everything else you've said. You're right.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Press and Sigi, and everyone!

I'm a day behind on emails here, and it looks like lots of good conversation has happened since these emails, but I wanted to respond. There are all kinds of options for one-on-one support. I know there are at least a few therapists that work with IE, but I also know that just because a therapist deals with eating disorders doesn't mean she practices IE. I saw a therapist years and years ago who was an eating disorders specialist but we never got to the bottom of my issue (although she was the first person to mention Geneen Roth to me). Anyway, there are lots of dieticians who teach IE and of course there are coaches, like me! Some of us work by phone so it doesn't matter where you are. You just have to decide what style works best for you. I have found the phone to be good because you can "hide" behind it, meaning you don't have the concern of thinking someone is staring at you. I think some people really like that and feel more comfortable opening up and letting their emotions out. Others prefer face to face.

Anyway, I am happy to discuss with anyone in this group your options for additional support, no strings attached! Yes, I run a business, but it's more important to me that you all get the support that's right for you.

Any of you out there - don't hesitate to send me an email with any questions.

Thanks!GillianGillian Hood-son, MS, ACSMHealthier OutcomesIt's not just about losing weight! Want to eat your favorite foods without gaining weight? Get your copy of our fr*e special report, "6 Simple Steps to Guilt Free Eating" by visiting http://www.healthieroutcomes.com

From: IntuitiveEating_Support [mailto:IntuitiveEating_Support ] On Behalf Of press182Sent: Tuesday, January 22, 2008 6:48 AMTo: IntuitiveEating_Support Subject: Re: Hugs for Press

Sigi,I've been wondering some of the same things you mentioned in your post.I've toyed with the idea of one on one counseling. I tried it in college (you know the free stuff with a doctoral candidate) and it was a total nightmare. I'd probably need a more cognitive approach because "talky-talky" really gets "boring-boring" sometimes. LOL!It's strange as I don't want to spend my whole life measuring food, calculating calories and macros and not eating what I want to eat and having "bad foods" lists. However, on the other hand is it so bad to ban cookies, or junk food or what have you?I feel like I'm being brainwashed by both sides, to be honest. Though I read a link to a blog from Shapely Prose and it mentioned how what someone eats is no one else's business and not something to make judgement calls on. You know in theory I agree.I just can't practice it.I used to be one of those "smug cart viewing whores" at the supermarket. You know, the one YOU KNOW is eyeballing your cart and making judgements? I was so proud of my cart full of fruit, veggies, lean meat, low fat this, whole grain that.I would sneer at the cart full of "processed junk" in front of me.Wanna know the funny part? Which one of us do you think was bent over the sink crying and eating a whole jar of peanut butter?Even funnier? Not that it matters, but guess which one was thinner?> >> .... I felt like I needed to limit that stuff > > or I won't see results.> > I make a mean homemade pizza. I made that last night and watched > the > > NFL play off games and I ate 2 more pieces than I should and felt > > guilty. > > > > I just feel like I have a responsibility to eat only healthy food. > > I feel like I should only eat healthy stuff and a "treat" once a > > year. That's it. > > It's getting worse. I don't get it.> > > This is sounding very far from intuitive, isn't it. {{{{{Press}}}}}> > I really don't know what to advise. A re-read of some of the main > books (like OO, IE, etc)? I guess basically you really have to > decide for yourself if you're giving up dieting or not. Maybe you're > not ready to give up just yet, it might take some other catalyst to > get to you the point where you really want to commit to changing your > life, eating intuitively and ditching the diets. (Me, I had my big > F*** IT! moment mid last year, so hey, it only took me a few > *decades* to come to that decision ... <g>).> > I wonder if one on one counselling is of interest (never done it > myself, I have to admit). Gillian, any suggestions?> > I believe the bad times and feelings will pass; it seems to come and > go in waves for many of us. Hang in there, honey.> > Love> S>