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Where is the fight?

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I woke up this morning and just mindlessly ate breakfast. Then, I

caught myself. I caught myself in a trap I have set for myself and

trapped myself in for over 30 years. I started to examine why I ate

adn criticize myself for doing something wrong. A virtual beating

over the head that I perform as a ritual after every meal. This ritual

of my own making crushes myself esteem and enforces that I am a

failure at dieting. Diet rules of the past were ammunition I used as

proof of my wrongdoing.

SO, with no rules to point to, other than I was not hungry, the

beating is less frequent and severe. Now that I have caught myself

red-handed, I can prevent using IE as a stick and refuse any mental

punishment when I enjoy a meal. What a change in thinking that would

be. My problem then becomes, I can't use eating to beat myself up,

now what do I do?

Does this make sense?

marie

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