The IE Waltz

[Guest guest]

Yesterday, someone likened IE to a waltz, where you take steps

forward, backward, sideways etc... This is a GREAT analogy.

After over a year of IE, I have been struggling the past few weeks. I

have a lot of challenges going on (money stuff, stress, plus I am

approaching menopause) and found that for the past couple of weeks,

I've been slipping back into my old non-IE patterns. I've been

slipping into denial about what I am eating and how much. I've been

stuffing food in my face to bury feelings of anger and fear I don't

want to deal with.

Last night I had an " ah ha. " My neighbor gave us a lemon meringue

pie, and I am the only one in the family who likes that kind of pie.

I had a slice the first night, and enjoyed it, but felt badly because

I scarfed it down when I wasn't even hungry. Yesterday afternoon,

same thing. Said I wasn't going to eat any, then found myself

standing in front of the open fridge with a fork! Finally, after a

killer day yesterday, where I " gave " a LOT of myself to others, that

pie started calling my name. My mind started in again. " You don't

need any pie, Traci. Just go to bed. You ate enough food today,

including pie this afternoon. You've lost 35 pounds and will gain it

all back if you start eating uncontrollably again. What is wrong with

you anyway? This is always the point where you start to gain weight,

and you're doing it again. "

I finally heard that stupid inner voice and realized that I need to

step back. The old patterns and voices are here again, and this is an

opportunity for me to listen. If I don't, and just try to avoid it,

it's all going to come bursting out in a binge--one that might last

for months!

I need to go back to the " old school " principles of IE. Honoring my

hunger, eating intuitively, enjoying my food, and honoring my

fullness.

So, last night, I did have a piece of the pie. A big one. And I put

it on a plate and sat at a table like a normal person and ate it.

Turns out I don't like the crust, so I just ate the inside. Yes,

the " Traci you have eaten half a pie in two days " voice started

chiming in, and I answered, " Yeah, so what? It's a good pie. " After

everything I did yesterday, I just wanted to sit down at the end of

the day and have some alone time with a nice, sweet reward. What's so

wrong with that?

Today, I will make sure that whatever I eat, I do it intuitively. My

life has gotten too crazy lately and it's drowning out the quiet

(scared and angry) voices inside... Then, when I've done that today,

I will do it again tomorrow.

[Guest guest]

That's fantastic - I love those aha! moments.

While I was reading your post I was thinking that so much about this process is about emotional and physical self care - listening to our feelings and our bodies and attending to them with gentle patience and affection. The shift between using the pie to stuff emotions and then enjoying some tasty food because you deserve to feed your body is huge, but in some ways all it takes is paying attention to and caring for oneself.

It's kind of sad that it's so hard for so many of us to do that. I know it's not that easy, or most of us wouldn't be here now lol but it makes me anxious about my own children and I pray none of them will have to struggle this hard to care for themselves .

The upside is, of course, that we are so lucky to be conscious of this struggle and thankfully have the tools to look it straight in the eye and deal. I am so grateful that I found IE and that the blinders are finally off!

Way to go Traci!!

Kim

-- The IE Waltz

Yesterday, someone likened IE to a waltz, where you take steps forward, backward, sideways etc... This is a GREAT analogy.After over a year of IE, I have been struggling the past few weeks. I have a lot of challenges going on (money stuff, stress, plus I am approaching menopause) and found that for the past couple of weeks, I've been slipping back into my old non-IE patterns. I've been slipping into denial about what I am eating and how much. I've been stuffing food in my face to bury feelings of anger and fear I don't want to deal with.

..

[Guest guest]

That's fantastic - I love those aha! moments.

While I was reading your post I was thinking that so much about this process is about emotional and physical self care - listening to our feelings and our bodies and attending to them with gentle patience and affection. The shift between using the pie to stuff emotions and then enjoying some tasty food because you deserve to feed your body is huge, but in some ways all it takes is paying attention to and caring for oneself.

It's kind of sad that it's so hard for so many of us to do that. I know it's not that easy, or most of us wouldn't be here now lol but it makes me anxious about my own children and I pray none of them will have to struggle this hard to care for themselves .

The upside is, of course, that we are so lucky to be conscious of this struggle and thankfully have the tools to look it straight in the eye and deal. I am so grateful that I found IE and that the blinders are finally off!

Way to go Traci!!

Kim

-- The IE Waltz

Yesterday, someone likened IE to a waltz, where you take steps forward, backward, sideways etc... This is a GREAT analogy.After over a year of IE, I have been struggling the past few weeks. I have a lot of challenges going on (money stuff, stress, plus I am approaching menopause) and found that for the past couple of weeks, I've been slipping back into my old non-IE patterns. I've been slipping into denial about what I am eating and how much. I've been stuffing food in my face to bury feelings of anger and fear I don't want to deal with.

..

[Guest guest]

>

> Yesterday, someone likened IE to a waltz, where you take steps

> forward, backward, sideways etc... This is a GREAT analogy.

>

That is how i have always seen it - a dance.