a message about our group - everyone please read this

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone,

After some reflection and carefully reviewing the posts of

the last couple of weeks, I wanted to finally make a few comments and clarify

my vision for this group. I appreciate all of you as members and respect your

opinions and feedback. As I said yesterday, it’s impossible to make

everyone happy, so I hope you can all respect my thoughts and vision for this

group and if it isn’t right for you, I completely understand and respect

that.

It seems one of the big issues brought up here is the idea

of wanting to lose weight and if that is part of IE. For those of you who

don’t know me, just know that I have experienced pretty much anything

that you may be going through right now in your IE journey. I have had a long,

long path of ups and downs compounded with the self-imposed demands I made on

myself because I was working in the fitness industry. So while you all may have

had different situation in your upbringing and your history, I can empathize

with your struggles and your own journey.

As a coach, I can tell you that the majority of my clients,

I’d say at least 85%, come to me wanting to lose weight. It’s

something I have agonized over because I know that acceptance and healing

usually comes before any weight loss. I see weight loss as a side effect of

returning to IE, and it is true that for some people, weight loss isn’t appropriate

for their bodies, and there are a few that actually let go of the desire for

weight loss once they have worked through this process, it just isn’t an

issue, they are finally happy and accept themselves the way they are. But as a

business owner and someone who needs clients to be able to make a living and

also pursue my desire to serve others at no cost, as with this group, I have to

market myself. So, my point here is, I have had to use weight loss a little bit

in my marketing because I have finally faced the fact that it’s what

people are going to come to me to find. And I’m ok with that, it’s

human nature. And when I work with my clients I can help direct them away from

the weight loss focus, knowing that it will happen if it is supposed to, and at

the time it is supposed to. Hopefully that makes sense.

So I believe ignoring the fact that people want to lose

weight, or not allowing discussion of this desire and the struggle with it is

doing a disservice for the majority of our members. But in my 2 years or so

with this group, I know that most of what we discuss isn’t weight loss,

because there is so much more involved. And most people coming to this group

are familiar with IE or the non-diet concepts know this already.

So here are some random thoughts that I will probably

compile into the group policies as I am updating them:

-

IE has many aspects, it isn’t

just about food, or what you eat, or letting go of weight loss. The bigger

picture includes honoring your body and what it wants and needs, taking care of

yourself right now instead of waiting for weight loss or the

“perfect” time, getting our physical, mental and emotional (and

possibly spiritual) needs met, asking for what we want in life, respecting

ourselves and expecting respect from others and living our lives now instead of

when we lose weight. These are just a few, but when it feels that we may be

getting off topic, please consider that these are some of the things that are

involved with IE, it isn’t just about food and eating. I can’t stress

this enough.

-

Each person that joins this group is

coming with different experiences, values and beliefs. We don’t have to

agree with them, but respect for each and every person in this group is a

requirement. I think it is a wonderful thing when we can share something with a

member, giving them perhaps a new perspective on what they are dealing with

– reframing their views, or sharing a similar experience, however, it is

not appropriate for anyone to be made wrong about what they are going through

or feeling. This is a place to vent along with asking for and giving support,

and having some fun along the way, too.

-

At the heart of IE, in my opinion,

is the idea of giving up external rules. Diets, parents, society, etc. have

imposed rules on us and that includes how and what to eat. IE allows us to

return to our internal wisdom that our body gives us. Therefore, we cannot be

putting rules on what we should and shouldn’t be doing or feeling. If

someone wants to lose weight and is struggling with that, that is their

reality. They aren’t breaking any rules, nor should any be imposed. If

any post such as one about weight feels like a diet mentality trigger for you,

I understand that. And I ask that you delete that thread and do not follow it.

If you have any concerns about what is being said, please contact me OFF LIST

to share your concerns. I am here for you and open to any suggestions you have.

I guarantee you that for each person that posts about a particular topic,

including struggling with wanting to lose weight, there are dozens more out

there reading these posts with great relief to know they aren’t alone. We

have over 900 members in this group, and that means we have a silent majority,

this is their group too.

-

One thing that specifically was

addressed in this group that I think has caused much of the discussion is the

diet mentality and its rejection being part of IE. This is absolutely true. But

we are all at a different part of this journey, and it’s not an easy

thing to give up. So if someone is expressing issues or feelings that relate to

diet mentality, it is appropriate for them to be shared here. As I have already

written, we can support members going through this in a more loving and

supportive way as opposed to sounding like they are wrong for their feelings. I

know that email as a communication tool has its flaws and communicating tone

and feeling, as you would in a voice conversation, can be lost. So please

remember this when writing and reread your posts before sending them. So many

of us are coming from a life of being made wrong, being hurt, told we

aren’t good enough, etc., and I don’t want that to happen here.

So, for me, the most important thing is that we have a

community of mutual respect and support. I am always available to discuss your

concerns off list and I’m happy to do that.

I appreciate you all, your contributions here make this the

best group I’ve ever been in and we are continuing to grow and thrive. I

would love to see us continue is this direction.

Thanks!

Gillian

Gillian Hood-son, MS, ACSM

Get your report, " The 6 Steps to

Guilt-Free Eating " by visiting http://www.HealthierOutcomes.com

Check out our upcoming Am I Hungry? seminars

beginning March 6th and April 1st: http://www.BreakOutofDietPrison.com

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your loving care for our group.

Now a side note for everyone... does anyone know of an IE-minded coach that

sponsors a

weeklong or weekend retreat to have some intensive practice and education on

this topic?

I know Geneen Roth has one in May annually, but since I am in the education

field, it's never

an option for me.

Just curious.

Be blessed!

[Guest guest]

There's a place in Vermont called Green Mountain at Fox Run. I think they offer week long retreats all year long. Here's their website http://www.fitwoman.com/ I found their website on intuitiveeating.com once so it must be IE friendly. I've never been there but I'd love to go someday. tripp4thgrade wrote: Thanks for your loving care for our group.Now a side note for everyone... does

anyone know of an IE-minded coach that sponsors a weeklong or weekend retreat to have some intensive practice and education on this topic?I know Geneen Roth has one in May annually, but since I am in the education field, it's never an option for me.Just curious.Be blessed!

Be smarter than spam. See how smart SpamGuard is at giving junk email the boot with the All-new Yahoo! Mail

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Gillian. Very well said.

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

>

>

> After some reflection and carefully reviewing the posts of the last couple

> of weeks, I wanted to finally make a few comments and clarify my vision for

> this group.

[Guest guest]

I wanted to reply to say how much I approve of Gillian keeping this

group focused as best she can. Its not announced with trumpets when a

member joins here, but we really are lucky to have such a

knowledgeable leader as Gillian is, let alone her doing this for FREE

too!

I have been in other groups that were not 'led' and while there can be

good info and discussions to be had, without a good set of guidelines

and management, I've also seen topics wander as well as digressing

into picking on others etc. I shudder to think if that happened here.

I seriously appreciate having such a great support option as well as

one that I can participate in at my own time, ability and desires too.

I so feel for newbies and like all 'converts' (ha ha), would love to

shake and shout advice at them so that they won't fall into the traps

I've gotten detoured into. But we all know how doing such a thing

never worked for parents, and other 'well meaning' people so its best

to just offer support if that can be received too. I love to kid

around as I find humor to be a bit of a relief in a very serious, and

many times hurtful experience that I am going thru re my eating/body

concerns. But I am serious as a heart attack when it comes to wanting

IE for me and any others who are 'abusing' themselves with diets. Via

la saner living! ehugs, Katcha

>

> Hi Everyone,

>

>

>

> After some reflection and carefully reviewing the posts of the last

couple

> of weeks, I wanted to finally make a few comments and clarify my

vision for

> this group. I appreciate all of you as members and respect your

opinions and

> feedback. As I said yesterday, it's impossible to make everyone

happy, so I

> hope you can all respect my thoughts and vision for this group and if it

> isn't right for you, I completely understand and respect that.

>

>

>

> It seems one of the big issues brought up here is the idea of wanting to

> lose weight and if that is part of IE. For those of you who don't

know me,

> just know that I have experienced pretty much anything that you may

be going

> through right now in your IE journey. I have had a long, long path

of ups

> and downs compounded with the self-imposed demands I made on myself

because

> I was working in the fitness industry. So while you all may have had

> different situation in your upbringing and your history, I can empathize

> with your struggles and your own journey.

>

>

>

> As a coach, I can tell you that the majority of my clients, I'd say

at least

> 85%, come to me wanting to lose weight. It's something I have

agonized over

> because I know that acceptance and healing usually comes before any

weight

> loss. I see weight loss as a side effect of returning to IE, and it

is true

> that for some people, weight loss isn't appropriate for their

bodies, and

> there are a few that actually let go of the desire for weight loss

once they

> have worked through this process, it just isn't an issue, they are

finally

> happy and accept themselves the way they are. But as a business

owner and

> someone who needs clients to be able to make a living and also pursue my

> desire to serve others at no cost, as with this group, I have to market

> myself. So, my point here is, I have had to use weight loss a little

bit in

> my marketing because I have finally faced the fact that it's what

people are

> going to come to me to find. And I'm ok with that, it's human

nature. And

> when I work with my clients I can help direct them away from the

weight loss

> focus, knowing that it will happen if it is supposed to, and at the

time it

> is supposed to. Hopefully that makes sense.

>

>

>

> So I believe ignoring the fact that people want to lose weight, or not

> allowing discussion of this desire and the struggle with it is doing a

> disservice for the majority of our members. But in my 2 years or so with

> this group, I know that most of what we discuss isn't weight loss,

because

> there is so much more involved. And most people coming to this group are

> familiar with IE or the non-diet concepts know this already.

>

>

>

> So here are some random thoughts that I will probably compile into

the group

> policies as I am updating them:

>

>

>

> - IE has many aspects, it isn't just about food, or what you

eat, or

> letting go of weight loss. The bigger picture includes honoring your

body

> and what it wants and needs, taking care of yourself right now

instead of

> waiting for weight loss or the " perfect " time, getting our physical,

mental

> and emotional (and possibly spiritual) needs met, asking for what we

want in

> life, respecting ourselves and expecting respect from others and

living our

> lives now instead of when we lose weight. These are just a few, but

when it

> feels that we may be getting off topic, please consider that these

are some

> of the things that are involved with IE, it isn't just about food and

> eating. I can't stress this enough.

>

> - Each person that joins this group is coming with different

> experiences, values and beliefs. We don't have to agree with them, but

> respect for each and every person in this group is a requirement. I

think it

> is a wonderful thing when we can share something with a member,

giving them

> perhaps a new perspective on what they are dealing with - reframing

their

> views, or sharing a similar experience, however, it is not

appropriate for

> anyone to be made wrong about what they are going through or

feeling. This

> is a place to vent along with asking for and giving support, and

having some

> fun along the way, too.

>

> - At the heart of IE, in my opinion, is the idea of giving up

> external rules. Diets, parents, society, etc. have imposed rules on

us and

> that includes how and what to eat. IE allows us to return to our

internal

> wisdom that our body gives us. Therefore, we cannot be putting rules

on what

> we should and shouldn't be doing or feeling. If someone wants to

lose weight

> and is struggling with that, that is their reality. They aren't

breaking any

> rules, nor should any be imposed. If any post such as one about

weight feels

> like a diet mentality trigger for you, I understand that. And I ask

that you

> delete that thread and do not follow it. If you have any concerns

about what

> is being said, please contact me OFF LIST to share your concerns. I

am here

> for you and open to any suggestions you have. I guarantee you that

for each

> person that posts about a particular topic, including struggling with

> wanting to lose weight, there are dozens more out there reading

these posts

> with great relief to know they aren't alone. We have over 900 members in

> this group, and that means we have a silent majority, this is their

group

> too.

>

> - One thing that specifically was addressed in this group that I

> think has caused much of the discussion is the diet mentality and its

> rejection being part of IE. This is absolutely true. But we are all at a

> different part of this journey, and it's not an easy thing to give

up. So if

> someone is expressing issues or feelings that relate to diet

mentality, it

> is appropriate for them to be shared here. As I have already

written, we can

> support members going through this in a more loving and supportive

way as

> opposed to sounding like they are wrong for their feelings. I know that

> email as a communication tool has its flaws and communicating tone and

> feeling, as you would in a voice conversation, can be lost. So please

> remember this when writing and reread your posts before sending them. So

> many of us are coming from a life of being made wrong, being hurt,

told we

> aren't good enough, etc., and I don't want that to happen here.

>

>

>

> So, for me, the most important thing is that we have a community of

mutual

> respect and support. I am always available to discuss your concerns

off list

> and I'm happy to do that.

>

>

>

> I appreciate you all, your contributions here make this the best

group I've

> ever been in and we are continuing to grow and thrive. I would love

to see

> us continue is this direction.

>

>

>

>

>

> Thanks!

> Gillian

>

> Gillian Hood-son, MS, ACSM

> Get your report, " The 6 Steps to Guilt-Free Eating " by visiting

> http://www.HealthierOutcomes.com <http://www.healthieroutcomes.com/>

>

>

> Check out our upcoming Am I Hungry? seminars beginning March 6th and

April

> 1st: <http://www.BreakOutofDietPrison.com>

> http://www.BreakOutofDietPrison.com

>