friendship/ not advice, just an anecdote

[Guest guest]

My husband and I had one couple just walk away from whatwe (naive us) had thought was a friendship. Other than that,the only troublesome friendship I have ever had is with a friendwho is slightly older than am I--vastly wealthier--though they werenot when we met--and somewhat hysterical. She is very upset thatone of her daughters e-mails to me regularly, and mine do not to her.Sooo, each year, I figure that the relationship--I see her about onceevery 18 months--will stagger on. Sure enough this year she sentme a card and typed thing describing the events of their lives.Of course, I sent back a polite and caring e-mail and thankedher and sent holiday wishes to her, her husband (whom I like)and her daughters in Portland,

Oregon. I know what will happen;she and I and her husband will eventually get together for a dinnerout, and chat in the manner that we have always.I know that there are a few things that she is angry at me about,but as i have not been told what they are, and as I am financiallypoor, widowed, etc., it is hard for me to imagine how anything that may have happened 20 years ago and more when we livedin the same neighborhood could be so painful for her.I do not expect anything from her, but knowing her and how fearful a person she actually is, and how abusive her parentswere (I met them, decades ago), I am not going to let her down.On the other hand, I am not going to push the idea of clarifyingthe issues as she would probably have a panic attack.The difference here is that she has never done anything reallyghastly to me--just a series of little needle-pricks which tell methat she

feels upset with me--sometimes, but not all the time.She once sent me a lettter about how she was making newfriends. I have also learned the hard way that she cannot abide compliments and is even more embarrassed about them than about insults. So, as she is not likely to change,I just accept her as she is. But then she has caused me no hurt nor harm, despite the intent on occasion to do so.She and her husband were absolutely wonderful to me andto my husband, Hans, during the time of his succumbing tocancer. I shall never forget that--ever. Some people onetakes with a hefty teaspoon of sugar, others with salt, andstill others with a drink!Love, n