The month after Xmas

[Guest guest]

This seemed appropriate for this month.

the month after Christmas,

and all through the house

Nothing would fit me,

not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled,

the eggnog I'd taste

At the holiday parties,

had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales

there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store

(less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous

meals I'd prepared;

The gravies and sauces

and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls,

the bread and the cheese

And the way I'd never said,

" No thank you, please. "

As I dressed myself in

my husband's old shirt

And prepared once again

to do battle with dirt...

I said to myself,

as I only can

" You can't spend a winter

disguised as a man! "

So, away with the last

of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruit cake,

every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food

that I like must be banished

" Till all the additional

ounces have vanished. "

I won't have a cookie

not even a lick.

I'll want only to chew

on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits,

or corn bread, or pie,

I'll munch on a carrot

and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome,

and life is a bore!

But isn't that

what January is for?

Unable to giggle,

no longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all

and to all a good diet!