Deep condolences for our friend selvi-passed away

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Selvi passes away

Selvi from Namakkal passed away on Saturday late night after a long seven month

fight with Multi Drug Resistant TB. She was a smallish woman who had a smile

always on her face and a calmness that could comfort anyone. She was a woman who

believed in continuing to do things that would effect change for people living

with HIV. This is a tribute to her work and life.

 

Soft spoken Selvi began her in reaching out to people living with HIV as the

Center Manager of Tirichengode Positive living Center which was implemented by

Indian Network for People living with HIV (INP+) in partnership with Positive

Women Network (PWN+) and the district network for people living with HIV HIV

Ullor Nala Sangam( HUNS) which was supported by USAID/ FHI. Later she served as

the board member of– HIV Ullor Nala Sangam( HUNS). She was also an active

member of TamilNadu Positive Women Network. She rendered her service through

peer counseling as a ICTC counselor in Thiruchengode taluk head quarters

hospital  for the past two years and she provided information and self

confidence to many WLH/A came for ICTC services.

 

She lived a simple life of a woman who was widowed very young in her life. She

showed by example that HIV should not weigh you down in life. She instilled

confidence in many positive women with one message " don't give up " on life until

it gives you up! Her softer side was a perfect camouflage for her tough will to

live.

This strength to live brought together her parents and in-laws into accepting

her HIV status. They remained on her side supporting her in bringing up her two

teenage sons.  They were very understanding about the fact that Selvi needed to

be open about HIV status and supported her in her decision to do so. Her sons

coped up the loss of their father with support from her - she wanted them to be

strong, she insisted that they should not depend on others - “concentrate on

your studies and make sure you earn a livingâ€. She lived a balanced life and

took care of her family and dedicated time in meeting and bringing people living

with HIV to join the network.

Her unassuming ways always worked in her advantage. Even in time of extreme

financial crisis in family she put up a brave face and led her life with what

ever little she had and she did not want others to know that she was suffering

– she was afraid of being obligated -even if it meant that it will compromise

her health.

 

When she was diagnosed with MDR TB – a completely shocked Selvi reassured

herself that when she is back from the hospital she will take her treatment

seriously. “Only if I had taken my drugs for TB continuously …†– her

voice would fade slowly to friends  who visited her.

Noticing the pain in those words friends would say It is okay selvi, one mistake

can happen to anyone you know  and  yes there will be plenty of time to change

this when you come back home – so eat well and stop worryingâ€.  She made

that into her personal message, in the last 7 months one thing that everyone

positive person had to hear during their visits to her is that  ‘Aye, don’t

stop taking medication for TB like what I did – I want you all to take your

medicines and be healthy – only when you are healthy you can live your life.

Life on a hospital bed waited by people you love is very comforting, but taking

care of people you love is what I will call

life and that I bet is more satisfying!’.

 

Her parents and in-laws took time to be with her throughout her stay at the

hospital.

On Sunday her friends, colleagues from her work, women and men living with HIV

whom she reached out gathered at Namakkal at her house waiting for her body to

arrive from Chennai Tambaram Hospital where she was hospitalized– they

supported the family- especially her sons thorough the funeral, cried, prayed,

consoled and comforted.

There is a hope that her sons are in the care of her in-laws and her parents

would support them too – that was a personal achievement of a strong willed,

smiling woman called Selvi – she could defeat the stigma of living with HIV.

She will live on

She left behind a message for all of us who are living with HIV “life is so

precious: never compromise your health; always complete your treatment , and

donâ't take a chance with life! "

She will be missed by many whose life she has warmly touched upon.

 

PWN+ team and friends , partners convey condolences for Selvi .

 

PWN+ team

 

Positive Women Network

e-mail: <poswonet@...>