Unconsciously!

[Guest guest]

God is really healing my mind this week concerning food AND

exercise! I'm so excited and yet worried that the successes and

mental changes will `go away'. It's hard to explain b/c it's

happening kindof `inside' and without my struggling over it so

much. Last night was late at work and I expected to be worried that

I'd be too tired to workout, but instead, I enjoyed the whole event!!

I came home hungry, ate what I want and went to bed!

This morning I hit snooze right through my planned workout and did

something else instead and it didn't have that bizarre sense of

urgency like I'm going to DIE for not doing the original intense

plan!

Then, I was actually excited about my yummy lunch and I think it's

actually calorically more than I ate for lunch yesterday and I

actually worked out harder yesterday – funny though, there's

actually an obvious disconnect in my brain today between how many

calories I eat TODAY as correlated with my exercise for this

specific day. It's like my mind has excepted that my hunger and

cravings will fluctuate based on other variables than just my

workout and that my body really knows what it wants and will

assimilate the food the right way!!

WOW!

OH, a friend called and invited me to join her and another good

friend for a run tomorrow. I can't b/c I have to be at work really

early. But this time I didn't feel a sense of guilt that my run

tomorrow won't be as long as theirs OR a feeling of being left out

and that their friendship will deepen without me.

It's kind of a weird feeling b/c the anxiety just isn't there, it's

not directly related to me battling it out or doing something

specific. I guess I'm just going to enjoy it and not try to explain

it!