Ugh, this moring, just had to get it off my chest

[Guest guest]

This stupid road just keeps getting longer. I was flying high for a

few days in a row, in fact when I look at my old journals, I

successful and feeling positive mentally about this whole normal

eating thing and stopping the obsessions and then whump! Yesterday

or the day before, I'm not sure why, my energy for this just

stopped. I don't want it any less, but the thoughts came back – the

minute I wake up, the times when I get up to go to the bathroom,

while I'm talking to someone about something completely unrelated to

food – bam – I can't stop thinking " What am I going to fix for

dinner, what does my body want to eat, did I exercise enough to eat

that today? Is that the healthiest option available, did I have

enough protein, is there something with fewer calories, did I eat so

many veggies that I'm going to be bloated – did I blow this whole

new NE endeavor all together? I don't have a clue if I'm hungry. Am

I going to fail this? Am I going back where I came from? I'm so

D**N tired of these mental gymnastics!!!! Should I read another book

or another perspective on becoming an intuitive eater? Will they

all say basically the same thing? HOW DO I DO THIS? How much longer

can I wait for this to work and what the H*** am I doing wrong? "

Sorry to blast everyone this morning. It's just hitting me really

hard. I can get down on myself for everything!! This morning I

slept in with my husband till 6:30 and STILL did my workout, but it

was later than normal so somehow ED says I failed at something (I'm

not sure what?) and then I didn't get all the kickboxing moves

perfect (even in my own living room) so supposedly I failed at

something `perfect' there.