Guest guest Posted February 3, 1999 Report Share Posted February 3, 1999 >If you receive an e-mail entitled " Badtimes, " delete it immediately. >Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. > > >It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also >delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. > > >It demagnetises the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. >It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR >and >uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you attempt to play. >It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your >ice cream melts and your milk curdles. > > >It will program your phone autodial to call only premium-rate phone lines >for shoe fetishists. >This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. >It will drink all your beer. >It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting >company. > > >Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz >(be honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears >It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all >while >dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their >hotel >rendezvous to your Visa card. >It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is >only fun until someone loses an eye. >It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea. >It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to >passive >tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change >the >interpretations of key sentences. >If the " Badtimes " message is opened in a Windows95 environment, it will >leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously >close to a full bathtub. >It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and >pillows, >but it will also refill your skimmed milk with whole milk. >It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam. >It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to >smell like dill pickles. > > >It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. >It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. >These are just a few signs of infection. >PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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