Re: negotiating people to help with food and family when you have MS; advice needed

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It is very difficult when dealing with some family members for this type of thing. How does your husband feel about this? Does he back you up on your decisions?I'm sorry that I really don't have any advice--just empathy for the situation. Sharonhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/MSersHEALTH/This email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. negotiating people to help with food and family when you have MS; advice needed

Need some help. I gets various people who come to my

home to provide babysitting, social skills and other activities and then

helping cook, house cleaning etc. I have been doing this for more than 3

years I have a woman getting her BA in special ed that has been coming to

my house since school started in August She works 4 hours per week working on

specific tasks with Colin to learn social skills, proper behavior etc. He is

autistic btw. My husband’s daughter (she is 22 with a 1year old and

a 5mo on the way) has moved up to our area. They came here because they

couldn’t tolerate the lack of jobs in

Mississippi and the low wages. She

never passed her GED. Since they’ve been here in January, She got a job

and then quit. Her husband got 3 jobs and has quit each. He hasn’t turned

20 yet. He is working for another that already has said doesn’t have 5

days per week. Not my problem. The cocky daughter decided they could make more

and more off me…Anyway we had informally decided that she would cook at

least once per week (but I’m often not hungry and not finishing what she

cooks)………and then she would straighten and light clean

another day. So I get the email below….and I can tell the daughter in law

is panicking now because she needs more hours and since her husband keeps

quitting jobs (3; now 4 since the beginning of January!!!!) Today, She sends me an

email saying: hey

just gonna let you know that I think we should have a more set

schedule about cleaning/cooking/keeping colin and all that. I think it would be

alot easier on both of us to set a schedule and keep it the same each week. I

would much rather you use me for colin on Wednesday and Friday instead of

being that’s what I am here for and we really need the money. it makes it

hard when one of yall say no you dont need me today and one of yall says

yes......you had already asked me last week if I wanted to keep colin a few

days this week because he was out of school and I said yes that was fine,but

now you have megan doing it? I didn’t understand that. I thought yall

were going to use me for everything now except maybe just on Wednesday nights

cause could take him out but other than that it was my job being that we

need the money and all ya know? I would just like to know more on these things

and be able to depend on the way things are set.its okay whatever you

decide.but if you would rather use megan then thats fine but dont ask and have

me thinking I am going to keep him and then find out megan is.just let me know

what you think. I responded first by

saying that I had never intended to replace who normally works with Colin

1 day per week and had made that 2 days per week this week with Meagan due to

Spring break. I further said I couldn’t have a set schedule week after

week re cooking because I often don’t eat according to

schedule…(didn’t even mention that she has continuously changed the

schedule because her son is always sick with one thing or another or she

doesn’t feel good etc…so if I was depending on, I’m out of

luck….nor can I depend on whether we always need her week after week for

a specific day for cooking (as that fluctuates with my schedule if I’m

not home for example)…then she’ll clean a bit and spend the rest of

her houses visiting with her dad and I get to pay the bill but the house is

still messy as ever. Any input

……Needless to say, nothing is going very smoothly these days;

that’s for sure.

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