Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 I'm sorry but that sounds like an insane person wrote it, although, i dont know what " normal " mothers are like. I can almost picture my nada screaming that to me in a fit of rage. ---- wrote: > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > and ideal moms. > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > aspects of this. > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > to share it. > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > your parent. > Here it is: > > Your Mother is Always with You > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > She's the place you come from, your first home... > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > And nothing can seperate you. > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > mother. > You carry her inside of you. > > > Sent from my blueberry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 oh my god...that is like one of those email chain letters....! And those kind of things make me feel so lonesome. Because I just don't feel that way. I love my mom, but as everyone here knows, it is so complicated. To have someone send you that after you explained your issues with your nada is like slapping you in the face (my opinion). Like telling you to be thankful and just love your mom. It is creepy to me too, given the circumstances, ~patricia I find this creepy I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods and ideal moms. One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial aspects of this. One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had to share it. It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with your parent. Here it is: Your Mother is Always with You She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. Your mother lives inside your laughter, She's crystallized in every teardrop... She's the place you come from, your first home... She's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love and your first heartbreak... And nothing can seperate you. Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your mother. You carry her inside of you. Sent from my blueberry. ------------------------------------ Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at @.... SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON THE GROUP. To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL () for your copy. We also refer to " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (Lawson) and " Surviving the Borderline Parent, " (Roth) which you can find at any bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community! From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 , It didn't bother me that I got it, because it was a mass mail to the entire list - a bunch of nice ladies who obviously had much loved mothers. But even with a much loved mother it sounds creepy to me, lol. In a message dated 5/5/2010 7:21:05 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, coyotesun1@... writes: oh my god...that is like one of those email chain letters....! And those kind of things make me feel so lonesome. Because I just don't feel that way. I love my mom, but as everyone here knows, it is so complicated. To have someone send you that after you explained your issues with your nada is like slapping you in the face (my opinion). Like telling you to be thankful and just love your mom. It is creepy to me too, given the circumstances, ~patricia I find this creepy I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods and ideal moms. One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial aspects of this. One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had to share it. It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with your parent. Here it is: Your Mother is Always with You She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. Your mother lives inside your laughter, She's crystallized in every teardrop... She's the place you come from, your first home... She's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love and your first heartbreak..S And nothing can seperate you. Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your mother. You carry her inside of you. Sent from my blueberry. ------------------------------------ Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at _@..._ (mailto:@...) . SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON THE GROUP. To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL () for your copy. We also refer to " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (Lawson) and " Surviving the Borderline Parent, " (Roth) which you can find at any bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community! From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook.Yahoo! Groups Links ---------------------------------------------------------- No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.819 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/2856 - Release Date: 05/05/10 14:26:00 [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 Whoa. The poem sounds like the relationship between two highly enmeshed people. This line was particularly peculiar: She's your first love and your first heartbreak... First heartbreak seems to imply that some people date their mothers or have an unhealthy infatuation with their mothers. I know that is probably not what was meant when they wrote it, but the word choice is off. The carry you inside of her part sounds strange too. Shouldn't it be the other way around--she carried you inside of her? Or maybe it is a " normal " childhood phrase associated with Mother's that is over my head...haha -Joy > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > and ideal moms. > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > aspects of this. > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > to share it. > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > your parent. > Here it is: > > Your Mother is Always with You > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > She's the place you come from, your first home... > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > And nothing can seperate you. > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > mother. > You carry her inside of you. > > > Sent from my blueberry. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 Joy, I wondered about that heartbreak bit too. It seemed a bit incestuous. Odd. E In a message dated 5/5/2010 7:21:42 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, joy.lynch54@... writes: Whoa. The poem sounds like the relationship between two highly enmeshed people. This line was particularly peculiar: She's your first love and your first heartbreak..T First heartbreak seems to imply that some people date their mothers or have an unhealthy infatuation with their mothers. I know that is probably not what was meant when they wrote it, but the word choice is off. The carry you inside of her part sounds strange too. Shouldn't it be the other way around--she carried you inside of her? Or maybe it is a " normal " childhood phrase associated with Mother's that is over my head...haha -Joy > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > and ideal moms. > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > aspects of this. > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > to share it. > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > your parent. > Here it is: > > Your Mother is Always with You > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > She's the place you come from, your first home... > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > She's your first love and your first heartbreak.. > And nothing can seperate you. > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > mother. > You carry her inside of you. > > > Sent from my blueberry. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 Well I have to admit I was working out variations that would be more appropriate to NADAs - like The cool hand on your brow who smacks you and says get up, you're not sick! In a message dated 5/5/2010 7:32:33 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, vegdeanna@... writes: for some reason, this strikes me as hilarious. > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > and ideal moms. > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > aspects of this. > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > to share it. > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > your parent. > Here it is: > > Your Mother is Always with You > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > She's the place you come from, your first home... > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > She's your first love and your first heartbreak.. > And nothing can seperate you. > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > mother. > You carry her inside of you. > > > Sent from my blueberry. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 All of my creepy kidding aside, this line was the one that bothered me the most in this little poem. The thought that even after her death I will never be free of her legacy is frightening. E In a message dated 5/5/2010 8:18:22 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, christine.depizan@... writes: Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > mother.(actually, mother.(actually,<WBR>I intend for my NC to apply in Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 for some reason, this strikes me as hilarious. > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > and ideal moms. > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > aspects of this. > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > to share it. > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > your parent. > Here it is: > > Your Mother is Always with You > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > She's the place you come from, your first home... > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > And nothing can seperate you. > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > mother. > You carry her inside of you. > > > Sent from my blueberry. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 I agree, that is weird. I didn't read the whole thing! ~p Re: I find this creepy Whoa. The poem sounds like the relationship between two highly enmeshed people. This line was particularly peculiar: She's your first love and your first heartbreak... First heartbreak seems to imply that some people date their mothers or have an unhealthy infatuation with their mothers. I know that is probably not what was meant when they wrote it, but the word choice is off. The carry you inside of her part sounds strange too. Shouldn't it be the other way around--she carried you inside of her? Or maybe it is a " normal " childhood phrase associated with Mother's that is over my head...haha -Joy > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > and ideal moms. > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > aspects of this. > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > to share it. > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > your parent. > Here it is: > > Your Mother is Always with You > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > She's the place you come from, your first home... > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > And nothing can seperate you. > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > mother. > You carry her inside of you. > > > Sent from my blueberry. > ------------------------------------ Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at @.... SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO NOT Respond ON THE GROUP. To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL () for your copy. We also refer to " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (Lawson) and " Surviving the Borderline Parent, " (Roth) which you can find at any bookstore. Welcome to the WTO community! From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community and author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 ,I fully agree this is a perfect example of how difficult it would be to explain what a nada is as opposed to a mother.It would give me the creeps,too...as a reminder of the disconnect between what it all should have been/could have been...and isn't/wasn't... Maybe we could add our own parentheses to Your Mother is Always with You as a KO group therapy exercise? Like,as bitter or honest or as poignant as we wanna be--no holds barred putting our *truth* to this...I hope you don't mind the imposition--personally I can't resist..it's too much for me to let those lines stand as they are...a la " thank you for sharing but I just need to say " ... What would be your corrective parentheses? Here are mine: > > Your Mother is Always with You (as an elusive image that never takes on real maternal form) > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.(and the echo of traumatic memories I'd sooner forget) > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks.(which reminds me of her " having to do all the housework " rages) > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well.(in my imagination: she never tended to me when I was sick) > Your mother lives inside your laughter,(often,gallows humor) > She's crystallized in every teardrop...(the few precious tears I manage to shed since she beat the ability to cry out of me) > She's the place you come from, your first home...(a place I am still trying to transcend,to find a healthier place to be in) > She's the map you follow with every step you take.(which has made me a mere babe in the woods many times,as lost as Hansel and Gretel) > She's your first love and your first heartbreak...(a heartbreak that perpetuates) > And nothing can seperate you.(NC *does* help) > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > mother.(actually,I intend for my NC to apply in the afterlife as well) > You carry her inside of you.(to my own detriment,but as I exorcise her from my being the being parentified by her diminishes and diminishes: I do not have to carry her like a baby,a child--I need not be " pregnant " with nada...nor do I need to listen to her tapes or voice in my own head...Striving to just put her down...) So said this KO...Thanks for posting this,. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 Yep, it's from the perspective of someone whose mother was the definition of love to them. I would guess separation from that kind of mother IS their first heartbreak - going to kindergarten, first night at camp, leaving home. It's so alien to us, but from what I hear that is what it is like. Many don't feel " thank God I'm outta here " when they get to step away and grow up. And they cannot comprehend what it is for us to wish to get out while being in preschool or even with our very first memories of thought. My mother's day card solution is just to get one that is very plain and simple, sometimes humorous. The schmaltzy ones would be a lie and hurt to even read. > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > and ideal moms. > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > aspects of this. > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > to share it. > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > your parent. > Here it is: > > Your Mother is Always with You > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > She's the place you come from, your first home... > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > And nothing can seperate you. > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > mother. > You carry her inside of you. > > > Sent from my blueberry. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 The KO's reality: Your Mother is Always with You (despite the long standing restraining order) She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. (as she's hiding in the shrubbery) She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. (that she's cut to pieces because you didn't appreciate HER for the birthday gift she gave you) She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. (and the residual sting as the blood rushes back to your face following the slap for " faking it to ruin HER day " ) Your mother lives inside your laughter, (brought on by the Prozac countless therapists tried to give YOU because they didn't believe you....) She's crystallized in every teardrop... (and would LOVE to be made into a human diamond upon her death to hang from your neck...forever) She's the place you come from, your first home... (that psych ward in training if you don't get out of there) She's the map you follow with every step you take. (while praying someone eats the breadcrumbs she's put down so she can't her way back to your house) She's your first love and your first heartbreak... (and, damnit, no one will EVER love you as much as her ~ she'll make sure of that!) And nothing can seperate you. (see human diamond tip from above) Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your mother. (cause Lord knows you've tried!) You carry her inside of you. (like excrement.) Lynnette > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > and ideal moms. > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > aspects of this. > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > to share it. > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > your parent. > Here it is: > > Your Mother is Always with You > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > She's the place you come from, your first home... > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > And nothing can seperate you. > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > mother. > You carry her inside of you. > > > Sent from my blueberry. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 wow...creepy isn't a strong enough word...this poem is so true...for the norm who sent it found it endearing and close to the heart...i read it and feel like i'm goin to have nightmares tonight... > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > and ideal moms. > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > aspects of this. > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > to share it. > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > your parent. > Here it is: > > Your Mother is Always with You > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > She's the place you come from, your first home... > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > And nothing can seperate you. > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > mother. > You carry her inside of you. > > > Sent from my blueberry. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 Ha--brilliant!! Thanks for the good laugh. And yeah, original was beyond creepy. <shudder> The restrains of " I'm going to be all alone on mother's day " are in fully swing from my nada. I'm *this* close to giving her a piece of my mind...the piece that says: " well, if you actually *were* a mother.... " We should introduce a whole 'nother kind of holiday on mother's day--something like, " KOs: breaking the cycle " day or something, celebrating our unique resilience, wit and resolve. Yay us! -l > > > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > > and ideal moms. > > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > > aspects of this. > > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > > to share it. > > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > > your parent. > > Here it is: > > > > Your Mother is Always with You > > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > > She's the place you come from, your first home... > > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > > And nothing can seperate you. > > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > > mother. > > You carry her inside of you. > > > > > > Sent from my blueberry. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 Oh MY God. Okay I am so creeped out and here's why. My BP mom was angry with me because I couldn't paint her house during the time I'm in college. So after a huge blow out she wrote me an apology letter on the back of a paper place mat with this exact poem on the back! .. The thing is she gave me the paper, and I never read it.. until the abuse started up (throwing objects at me, pulling my hair because the bathroom wasn't clean enough, and digging her nails into my arm, all because she's known to freak out over the smallest mistake I make) So after all this drama, I took a plane flight out because I couldn't deal with the visit from hell anymore, and I remembered that she gave me a letter, so I opened it up and on the front was this poem, and on the back her apology letter of never abusing me again, never giving me too much to bear like she always does, never treating me like her husband, when I am just her 19 year old daughter.. Anyway, I think it's creepy that other children of BP mothers and Nada's are getting this poem by email.. It made me cry, and feel confused because how can you write someone a letter give it to the person you hurt, and then continue to hurt them! And then I read it and I think Psh, it meant nothing.. -Kris On Wed, May 5, 2010 at 10:25 PM, wrote: > > > Ha--brilliant!! Thanks for the good laugh. > > And yeah, original was beyond creepy. <shudder> > > The restrains of " I'm going to be all alone on mother's day " are in fully > swing from my nada. I'm *this* close to giving her a piece of my mind...the > piece that says: " well, if you actually *were* a mother.... " > > We should introduce a whole 'nother kind of holiday on mother's > day--something like, " KOs: breaking the cycle " day or something, celebrating > our unique resilience, wit and resolve. Yay us! > > -l > > > > > > > > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > > > and ideal moms. > > > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > > > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > > > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > > > aspects of this. > > > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > > > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > > > to share it. > > > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > > > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > > > your parent. > > > Here it is: > > > > > > Your Mother is Always with You > > > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > > > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > > > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > > > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > > > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > > > She's the place you come from, your first home... > > > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > > > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > > > And nothing can seperate you. > > > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > > > mother. > > > You carry her inside of you. > > > > > > > > > Sent from my blueberry. > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 Oh for God s sake, its a load of sacharine horseshit even for someone with a normal healthy mom. Some Helen Stiener Rice wannabe wrote it to sell to a greeting card company. Still, since we are having fun with words, Your Mother is Always with You In the FOG around your throat > > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. No, that is her clinging to your pants leg. > > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. Nada? Laundry? Are you out of your freaking mind? > > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. And the guilt trip you ll pay for years for every aspirin. > > Your mother lives inside your laughter, That hysterical, manic, they re coming to take me away that threatens to bubble out of your sanity > > She's crystallized in every teardrop... Fair enough, she s F..ing well cause you enough of them! > > She's the place you come from, your first home... That place you barely survived for the neglect, the place that taught you the meaning of escape > > She's the map you follow with every step you take. She s taught you so well you can t remember what your feet look like. You have no bearings or compass, but she ll be glad to order your steps. > > She's your first love and your first heartbreak.. True. And how F...ing sick is that? > > And nothing can seperate you. Like the choke hold of the Boston Strangler. > > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > > mother. AAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Just F ing shoot me! > > You carry her inside of you. I m going to be sick. > > > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > > and ideal moms. > > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > > aspects of this. > > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > > to share it. > > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > > your parent. > > Here it is: > > > > Your Mother is Always with You > > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > > She's the place you come from, your first home... > > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > > And nothing can seperate you. > > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > > mother. > > You carry her inside of you. > > > > > > Sent from my blueberry. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 You ll be free if you want to and choose to. It takes time, and hard work. But we can do it. We can heal. Doug > > All of my creepy kidding aside, this line was the one that bothered me the > most in this little poem. The thought that even after her death I will > never be free of her legacy is frightening. > > E > > > In a message dated 5/5/2010 8:18:22 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, > christine.depizan@... writes: > > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > > mother.(actually, mother.(actually,<WBR>I intend for my NC to apply in > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 Mothers Day........leading into... NADA night. Celebrated after sundown on Mother s day. We all get together in a bar and drink little drinks with umbrellas in them and sing the Pina Colada song over and over till somebody screams. Doug > > > > > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > > > and ideal moms. > > > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > > > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > > > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > > > aspects of this. > > > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > > > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > > > to share it. > > > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > > > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > > > your parent. > > > Here it is: > > > > > > Your Mother is Always with You > > > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > > > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > > > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > > > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > > > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > > > She's the place you come from, your first home... > > > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > > > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > > > And nothing can seperate you. > > > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > > > mother. > > > You carry her inside of you. > > > > > > > > > Sent from my blueberry. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 HAHAA! NADA Night, a new American tradition.. Hey, we can even call up hallmark and get them to write cards, make it official. > > > > Mothers Day........leading into... > > NADA night. Celebrated after sundown on Mother s day. > > We all get together in a bar and drink little drinks with umbrellas in > them and sing the Pina Colada song over and over till somebody screams. > > Doug > > > > > > > > > > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy > childhoods > > > > and ideal moms. > > > > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing > as my > > > > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved > into a > > > > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and > financial > > > > aspects of this. > > > > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > > > > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just > had > > > > to share it. > > > > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why > it is > > > > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > > > > your parent. > > > > Here it is: > > > > > > > > Your Mother is Always with You > > > > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > > > > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > > > > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > > > > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > > > > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > > > > She's the place you come from, your first home... > > > > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > > > > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > > > > And nothing can seperate you. > > > > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from > your > > > > mother. > > > > You carry her inside of you. > > > > > > > > > > > > Sent from my blueberry. > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 Makes me want to hurl. And I only read the first two lines and then skipped to the bottom. Maybe its just my cynicism talking. . . but I'm always vaguely suspicious of people who worship their mother to that degree. It seems those with normal, healthy moms LOVE their mom . . .but don't find them " crystalized in every obssessive and idealized teardrop. " (Slight paraphrase there). Have you ever met someone who abjectly worshipped their mother and then met their mother much later? 9 times out of 10, mother is no mother at all. Their mother has a crazy nada look in her eye, and the worshipper is an enmeshed captive. Dunno. I guess I've seen it more than once. And I guess, I'm embarrassed to admit, I used to worship my mother at one time, too. Had a lot of denial to accomplish, and worshipping was easier. yuck. > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > and ideal moms. > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > aspects of this. > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > to share it. > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > your parent. > Here it is: > > Your Mother is Always with You > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > She's the place you come from, your first home... > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > And nothing can seperate you. > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > mother. > You carry her inside of you. > > > Sent from my blueberry. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 --that was truly powerful. Thanks for redeeming all of us with our version. > > ,I fully agree this is a perfect example of how difficult it would be to explain what a nada is as opposed to a mother.It would give me the creeps,too...as a reminder of the disconnect between what it all should have been/could have been...and isn't/wasn't... > > Maybe we could add our own parentheses to Your Mother is Always with You as a KO group therapy exercise? Like,as bitter or honest or as poignant as we wanna be--no holds barred putting our *truth* to this...I hope you don't mind the imposition--personally I can't resist..it's too much for me to let those lines stand as they are...a la " thank you for sharing but I just need to say " ... > > What would be your corrective parentheses? Here are mine: > > > > > Your Mother is Always with You (as an elusive image that never takes on real maternal form) > > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.(and the echo of traumatic memories I'd sooner forget) > > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks.(which reminds me of her " having to do all the housework " rages) > > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well.(in my imagination: she never tended to me when I was sick) > > Your mother lives inside your laughter,(often,gallows humor) > > She's crystallized in every teardrop...(the few precious tears I manage to shed since she beat the ability to cry out of me) > > She's the place you come from, your first home...(a place I am still trying to transcend,to find a healthier place to be in) > > She's the map you follow with every step you take.(which has made me a mere babe in the woods many times,as lost as Hansel and Gretel) > > She's your first love and your first heartbreak...(a heartbreak that perpetuates) > > And nothing can seperate you.(NC *does* help) > > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > > mother.(actually,I intend for my NC to apply in the afterlife as well) > > You carry her inside of you.(to my own detriment,but as I exorcise her from my being the being parentified by her diminishes and diminishes: I do not have to carry her like a baby,a child--I need not be " pregnant " with nada...nor do I need to listen to her tapes or voice in my own head...Striving to just put her down...) > > So said this KO...Thanks for posting this,. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 Doug-- I'M IN!!! Can I have bourbon instead of pina coladas? I mean, for nada's night, we should bring out the serious stuff. Thanks for the idea! > > > > > > > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy > childhoods > > > > and ideal moms. > > > > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing > as my > > > > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved > into a > > > > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and > financial > > > > aspects of this. > > > > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > > > > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just > had > > > > to share it. > > > > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why > it is > > > > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > > > > your parent. > > > > Here it is: > > > > > > > > Your Mother is Always with You > > > > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > > > > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > > > > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > > > > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > > > > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > > > > She's the place you come from, your first home... > > > > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > > > > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > > > > And nothing can seperate you. > > > > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from > your > > > > mother. > > > > You carry her inside of you. > > > > > > > > > > > > Sent from my blueberry. > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 , that was just perfectly and sadly awesome. > > ,I fully agree this is a perfect example of how difficult it would be to explain what a nada is as opposed to a mother.It would give me the creeps,too...as a reminder of the disconnect between what it all should have been/could have been...and isn't/wasn't... > > Maybe we could add our own parentheses to Your Mother is Always with You as a KO group therapy exercise? Like,as bitter or honest or as poignant as we wanna be--no holds barred putting our *truth* to this...I hope you don't mind the imposition--personally I can't resist..it's too much for me to let those lines stand as they are...a la " thank you for sharing but I just need to say " ... > > What would be your corrective parentheses? Here are mine: > > > > > Your Mother is Always with You (as an elusive image that never takes on real maternal form) > > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.(and the echo of traumatic memories I'd sooner forget) > > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks.(which reminds me of her " having to do all the housework " rages) > > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well.(in my imagination: she never tended to me when I was sick) > > Your mother lives inside your laughter,(often,gallows humor) > > She's crystallized in every teardrop...(the few precious tears I manage to shed since she beat the ability to cry out of me) > > She's the place you come from, your first home...(a place I am still trying to transcend,to find a healthier place to be in) > > She's the map you follow with every step you take.(which has made me a mere babe in the woods many times,as lost as Hansel and Gretel) > > She's your first love and your first heartbreak...(a heartbreak that perpetuates) > > And nothing can seperate you.(NC *does* help) > > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > > mother.(actually,I intend for my NC to apply in the afterlife as well) > > You carry her inside of you.(to my own detriment,but as I exorcise her from my being the being parentified by her diminishes and diminishes: I do not have to carry her like a baby,a child--I need not be " pregnant " with nada...nor do I need to listen to her tapes or voice in my own head...Striving to just put her down...) > > So said this KO...Thanks for posting this,. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 Kris, there was a brief time when my nada made a similar apology to me and later said/did things that showed it meant nothing and she didn't even remember it. Much like the note your nada wrote you. It's my theory in that brief moment she briefly achieved higher functioning but she couldn't maintain it. She did honestly seem a bit saner and have genuine empathy for all of one conversation. Some might say it was fake and I got suckered. But I believe that really - they do have mental illness - most of the time they cannot comprehend what they are doing or its impact. I know that may not feel true to everyone here, but for some it may apply. > > > > > > > > I am on another forum with women who apparently had happy childhoods > > > > and ideal moms. > > > > One time recently I mentioned some of the difficulty I am facing as my > > > > nada's dementia worsens and she pulls more stunts and has moved into a > > > > nursing home leaving me to deal with all the legalities and financial > > > > aspects of this. > > > > One of the women told me to just love her, yada yada. > > > > Anyhoo, the following came into my inbox this morning and I just had > > > > to share it. > > > > It gives me the creeps! And I see it as a perfect example of why it is > > > > so difficult to explain to normals about the trouble you have with > > > > your parent. > > > > Here it is: > > > > > > > > Your Mother is Always with You > > > > She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street. > > > > She's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks. > > > > She's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. > > > > Your mother lives inside your laughter, > > > > She's crystallized in every teardrop... > > > > She's the place you come from, your first home... > > > > She's the map you follow with every step you take. > > > > She's your first love and your first heartbreak... > > > > And nothing can seperate you. > > > > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > > > > mother. > > > > You carry her inside of you. > > > > > > > > > > > > Sent from my blueberry. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 5, 2010 Report Share Posted May 5, 2010 E, check out the thread I started a while back asking if others had problems being haunted after the death of a parent. It's a fear for many of us. I found the replies reassuring though. Now whether we are haunted in our own minds is another matter, but there's always therapists to help with that. > > All of my creepy kidding aside, this line was the one that bothered me the > most in this little poem. The thought that even after her death I will > never be free of her legacy is frightening. > > E > > > In a message dated 5/5/2010 8:18:22 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time, > christine.depizan@... writes: > > Not time, not space, not even death will ever seperate you from your > > mother.(actually, mother.(actually,<WBR>I intend for my NC to apply in > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.