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Re: emontionally drained

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writes:

> Very calmly she explained that she has had enough............

Thinking of you lots .

I think my mum got to feel that way, though we never talked about it at

all. She had had cancer for a while, next step after radiotherapy was chemo.

She and Dad had a big party to celebrate their golden wedding, she wrote all

her thank you letters, sorted out her life, and within 3 weeks of the

celebration she died. I am sure she didn`t have the spirit to carry on - at

least she wanted to be able to enjoy life at a certain level, and if that

was not possible, she would back out.

(((((((hugs)))))

Barbara

..

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What an awful time for you, . The thought crosses my mind that your

mum may be clinically depressed, though, of course, you know her best. I

have to say, I don't blame her for feeling that way....it must be hellish

for all of you, but maybe telling her how much you want your children to be

able to remember her will help. Children are so amazing, they won't love

her any the less for not being able to play with them.

Thinking of you,

Lesley

------------------------

said............I am exhausted.

Went into see my Mum today (she is in a nursing home after a series of

strokes).

Very calmly she explained that she has had enough. She doesn't like being so

disabled, not being able to play with the children or help my sister and I.

She wants to die.

We spent over an hour talking about it. She says she has done her work

(presumingly bringing up the two of us) and seen the children but it's

enough

now.

She can't do anything active about it (thank heavens) as her drugs and so on

are controlled by the nurses.

I feel completely drained. I understand how she must feel but I can't see

how

we can make her feel any better.

Can people die just by wanting too? Not sure I want an answer to that.

Thanks for listening.

SAHM 6. Olivia 2, 1 15/3/00

Editor Wallingford and District

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Failed tests, classes skipped, forgotten locker combinations.

Remember the good 'ol days

http://click./1/4053/8/_/_/_/960050767/

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wrote..........She has had periods of being very down/depressed. But

usually she is very

tearful and sobs frequently. She isn't like that this time. Is that the sign

of being very depressed?

It appears that they have stopped her antidepressants but I don't know how

long ago as they were for pain in her stroke affected side rather than for

depression.

---------------

Depression can take many forms, , so I wouldn't like to describe the

symptoms. But if your mother had been taking antidepressants and is now off

them, she could very well be suffering from depression. Just because she

was given them for the pain doesn't mean they didn't have an antidepressant

effect. The newer drugs such as Prozac can revolutionise a person's life

and have much fewer side effects than the old drugs.

I have a friend who sometimes works with people like your mum and she has

said that while such feelings are regarded as suicidal in a healthy person

they are 'merely' considered to be a death wish in a physically sick person.

Yet their quality of life can be improved in many cases with antidepressants

or other methods, depending on their situation. She strongly feels that

just because a person is physically ill doesn't mean their psychological

needs should not be met.

Perhaps a thorough talk with your mother's carers and a proper assessment of

her needs, including a psychiatric check, would be a good way forward for

you all.

Don't forget to look after yourself, too, .

Love

Lesley

x

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Oh , I'm crying reading this. Big Hugs ((((((( )))))))))

Cerys

emontionally drained

> I am exhausted.

>

> Went into see my Mum today (she is in a nursing home after a series of

> strokes).

>

> Very calmly she explained that she has had enough. She doesn't like being

so

> disabled, not being able to play with the children or help my sister and

I.

> She wants to die.

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Lesley said:

>What an awful time for you, . The thought crosses my mind that your

>mum may be clinically depressed, >

: My father decided to stop being treated, but then he knew that his

condition was terminal, so it was different to your mother. , you

don't say if your Mum is on anti-depressants. It may be worth suggesting,

given that she is stable in other ways.

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