Re: For Steve in PA

[Guest guest]

((((((((((((Bennie)))))))) I love your post! It had me smiling and laughing as

I read it. This past Sunday, a dear warm hearted man who loved life and people

lost this life at age 36 in a terrible car crash. My hubby and I meet him in

his role as a manager in a restaurant we go weekly for our night out. He always

stopped at our table to say hi when he was on duty. He was well liked by staff.

he left 2 young daughters and a wife.

Your post and his tragic death reminds me that how long we are on here is

unknown. We can spent the time feeling sorry for ourself or dwelling on our

disabilities or we can enjoy life as much as possible inspite of our limitations

and pain.

I have a friend from my volunteer work at the firehouse who may not live out the

year due to incurable cancer. Like Steve he has run out of options. Steve and

my friend are so brave. Pushing forward in the face of such obstacles.

Each fighting to make the most of life no matter what.

I am thankful to know these people. They give me the strength to battle my own

ills. To remember that no matter how dark it may seem, there is a light down

the road. So keep going.

I am very thankful for all the people in this group. You all have given me so

much and motivation to keep getting up every morning and greet another day of

life.

Huge hugs to all with a super gentle hug to you Steve.

Tami

--- Bennie wrote:

>

> Steve,

>

> I wanted you to know how appreciative I am to know you. You are so

intelligent, and give me hope with your positive attitude. I am fifty-eight and

am mad that people very young have to be in so much pain but I have seen it with

my young patients; One thing I realized is that the young ones smiled,laughed,

and loved every day of life they could.

>

>

> I may walk in front of a car tomorrow and I have to remind myself more often

that even in pain I have to love life and that is the hardest part and not

having pain relief robs me of the ability to be part of my family and community.

Your posts have encouraged me to do that. Didn't want to be corny but wanted you

to know. This members and moderators of this group mean much to me and everyone

has always posted something I can learn from. Thanks Bennie in a corny mood

(that's what my son says when I love on him " Mon, you're being corny " .

>

[Guest guest]

> Tami wrote:

> love your post! It had me smiling and laughing as I read it.

Tami,

No matter how different we are and the soap boxes we have, the members of this

group have been lifesavers for me. I know that members that just say hi or hang

in there or I know what you mean or even say, what planet are you on, now

Bennie? have made my day without them knowing. So I want to say thank each

member and our moderators for being so compassionate and caring and knowing we

need to vent.

I know what you mean. Although I was eighteen when I entered the radiation

therapist field, I can remember almost all the patients I treated. Ms.

with metastatic breast cancer that owned a sign company and kept her grandkids

but had not adopted them yet and asked me if she should do it and I smiled and

said you have already said the answer, Mr. with metastatic oat cell lung

cancer who never spoke much but had that smile and unfortunately the smokers

cough, Ms. Gunter who gave me antique brooch I still have to this day and green

bubble glass I collect, Mr Kinsworthy who would not let anyone give him his

Penicillin shot but me because I injected slowly and he didn't get knots. The

lists goes on and on. That was the day when the patients brought pies, home

canned pickles, chow chow, homemade chocolate cake, and coconut cream pie. I had

co workers that all believed in the patient and a Doctor that did not overcharge

and when I went to post charges, I was told to leave several off.

We all had pride in our work and the families of our patients hugged us and we

always had a representative go to the hospital and visit our hospital patients

daily and we also attended funerals out of respect. One of my patients who had

died was my sisters hair stylist client and my sister asked me to go to the

funeral home with her while she did her hair and I said yes.

We both talked to her as we would have if she were here and told her how much we

cared. We always called our patients their lab results even if normal so they

did not worry.

I know that since I was young and positive and the other staff members were

also, it gave our patients permission to be humorous and when we closed the door

being with them, they always talked about how worried they were about their

family members and the family members not accepted their diagnosis. We always

told our patients if they felt well enough do it, i.e. mowing, fishing, walking

etc. Even if they had family who wanted our patients to rest.

I did my Thesis on the Hospice phenomena and it was in 1970's when Europe

program had made it to US and I felt it was such a good program rather than

being in a cold hospital room but this was back then when Doctors thought they

were Gods and two week hospital stays for ear infections were common and you did

not go home until the Doctor said so.

Hospice gives you choices, volunteers (to help with cleaning, babysitting,

driving for food, doctor appts). I volunteered extensively with this program and

Reach for Recovery that assist women that has mastectomies or breast cancer with

wigs, scarves, exercises, support groups and clothes (bathing suits,

prosthesis).

I volunteered for a lady to get out and watcher her husband that had massive

stroke so she could be Norma. I assisted a family and made sure support was

needed instead of having twenty dozens of cookies but had meals rotated ,

someone to drive the kids to sports events, someone to help clean, and someone

to sit on shifts. She always wore a bandana and we made sure she had one of

every color and painted her nails and read the Bible when she asked.

I lived four houses down on base and they called me as they thought she had

passed away and she had, I went ahead and started cleaning her and put some make

up on her as her husband had to drive 45 minutes to get there. The home health

nurse came and removed all tubing and her husband arrived . I told him he could

hold her, kiss her and say good bye and it is okay to talk to her. We could hear

him profess his love for her and his children and they would be okay. This was

one of the humbling experience I ever had among others but serving others in

that capacity made me have purpose and I have always been a caregiver so I get

angry when I can't give but I don't see many people like me wanting to help (I

am not being insulting) but it would be nice if all those friends I planted

everything in their yard would come to my house and plant a flower that would

come back! Haven't seen any of them yet.

SO sorry for the rambling but I wish for Steve some caregivers so he can spend

time with his wife and feel good enough to do something. I am hoping my husband

and I can make the 70th year celebration of Casablanca. My hubby and I could

probably lip sync this movie so I am hoping for a good day

My Girlfriend in St Louis has been cancer free from a stage four metastatic

breast cancer that she had just had breast check in Sept and in Oct nodes came

up as she was put on some hormones and they caused her cancer to start

multiplying by the fasted rate they could. She went in last of Sept, they

biopsied the nodule right then and called her at 8 am the next day to come in

for oncolofyt therapy. She had a fanny pak with zofran dripping and she was not

nauseated and we just had to order Rueben's and check out the flowers they were

doing away with from a wedding and they ending up in Terry's room. We got up

every three hours and gave medications and tried to keep her from puking. I did

remind her of some of the nights she had too much rum.

Well, she went through a clinical program that had their patients listen to

Bernie Segal tapes as he beat cancer. Mr. Segal states, no matter who it is in

your life is toxic, get rid of them or anyone else that cannot help you be a

survivor, and your goal is for you only to consider yourself as others will be

taken care of and you need the strength and you are survivor.

Terri went through bone marrow transplant and I kept her bows and we went and

cleaned and decorated her house for Christmas and left it with gifts. She has

been in remission for over thirteen years, her husband who was a neonatal nurse

that delivered my son, Teri's husband and their Father died and Terri remarried

this December after finishing her communications degree from Xc Kendree College

in Lebanon. So there is living proof and I am glad of it and her wedding

pictures are so great and I can't travel. So I am setting some new pain goals

and ways to take care of my self.

I told my new pain management doctor that pain management doctor should do

metabolic panels as that would help also with there absorption rate and if the

patient is deficient in vitamins as with Vitamin D my lips get numb and I get

tremors along with weakness and My endocrinologist stated there is a pandemic so

guess people need to check to be sure.

Sorry for another book but yes we need to say, Hey! hope you are not having any

barometric weather change headaches of muscle pain, I am

Bennie

[Guest guest]

I was going through old emails and came across this one again. It

brightened my day. I wish there were more people like you and that doctor

in this world. If there were, I probably wouldn't have to suffer through

these flares.

I know that Actiq only went generic in 2006, so it's only been around for

about two decades, but did you ever have any patients who used it? I know a

lot of doctors used to treat patients with injectable opioids, but now they

associate injectable medications (especially opioids) with abuse. I assume

that you've seen the horror of a true 10/10 pain flare of BTP (breakthrough

pain) in you job. I also assume that you've seen the relief that adequate

medication can bring and know what a blessing it can be. To have that

blessing taken away because some piece of sh** drug abusers and dealers

can't keep their hands away from it and the DEA & FDA have a problem with

it is hell, pure and unadulterated torture.

Steve M in PA

> Bennie wrote:

> I wanted you to know how appreciative I am to know you. You are so

intelligent, and give me hope with your positive attitude. I am fifty-eight

and am mad that people very young have to be in so much pain but I have

seen it with my young patients; One thing I realized is that the young ones

smiled,laughed, and loved every day of life they could.