Guest guest Posted February 10, 1999 Report Share Posted February 10, 1999 In a message dated 2/9/99 10:51:41 PM Eastern Standard Time, sksmr@... writes: << I haven't said anything to my ds yet, I'm just so confused!! Any input on this would be soooo appreciated. I don't have very many people around here to discuss this with. Thank you. Kathy in Michigan >> (((((KATHY))))) So sorry to hear about your grandpa. My paternal grandfather died when my son was 3, and I did NOT bring him to the funeral. Also, my maternal grandmother died when I was 6, and my mother did not allow me to go to the funeral. Others might disagree, but I think death is painful enough for children to conceive of without having the trauma of actually seeing a dead body. I was 15 before I ever went to a funeral or viewing of any kind (fortunately I just didn't know anyone who died between 6 and 15). Obviously your ds will want to go to his Pinewood race, and I think if you have family members willing to cheer him on that's great. This is a terrible decision to have to make, but I think if your instincts are telling to shelter your children, then by all means do it. Good luck, and again I am sorry for your loss. & Kylie, still nursing at 19 months! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 1999 Report Share Posted February 10, 1999 I am sorry about your grandfather. It must be hard to focus on the loss when you have so many other pressures to deal with. So, with your kids being the most important part of your dilemma, I don't see any reason to take them to the funeral. They are too young to have it mean anything to them - you could probably give them a more thorough understanding of the meaning of their great-grandfather's life and death by having some quiet time with them talking about him and all the good things he added to the world. Congratulations to your son - what an accomplishment! But what a difficult decision for you! I would let him go and compete with your in-laws as caretakers and try to get back to him as soon as possible. Just my 2 cents - good luck with your decisions and I am truly sorry about your loss. Ellen Bitter are the tears of a child: Sweeten them. Deep are the thoughts of a child: Quiet them. Sharp is the grief of a child: Take it from them. Soft is the heart of a child: Do nothing to harden it. Lady Pamela Wyndham Glenconner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 11, 1999 Report Share Posted February 11, 1999 Kathy I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My prayers are with you and your family. As far as taking the children, do what you fell is right. If your kids were not close to him they may prefer to go to the scouting competition. Do you feel your son is old enough to make a choice? When my grandfather died last year we gave my older two (they were 6 and 9) a choice if they wanted to attend the funeral. We prepared them for what they would see. They chose to go and benefitted from it. It was not a sad funeral but rather a celebration of his life. They did see and touch my grandfather when he was in the casket but again we prepared them for what he would look and feel like. I guess there are no easy answers to this but again go with what you feel is right. a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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