Spring cleaning

[Guest guest]

Wow! I think for a variety of reasons, since I've been on this email group,

I have been more prone to cleaning.

I pI ersonally have zero attention span for following through with things so

I tend to just do the bare minimum of cleaning. Everything is clean, it's

just kind of cluttered and of course I just don't get to things like

cleaning under the fridge.

I think I feel less alone and the weigh ton my shoulders is less because I

feel less alone.

Things are less cluttered in my brain so it is easier to clean.

I value me more so I am making my surroundings more pretty.

I'm less exhausted emotionally and physically becasue I am not overwhelmed

so I have more energy to clean.

I'm happier so I have more creativity and can think out of the box more.

Whatever part of me figured that I could maybe keep working at this

situation from every angle with my mom and maybe I could somehow find a way

to make it work... now that I am not going to try to make it work anymore,

it frees up a lot of space in my brain.

I've kinda used my house not being the way I'd like it to be to not have

people over to my house because I didn't want to let anyone in emotionally

because I just don't trust people in general. Maybe I'm getting closer to

letting people in.

Cleaning is a positive way to get that energy out. Kinda like spring

cleaning... I'm moving on I guess.

BPDingNOMore